The Sound of a Love Song
by DancingNancyy
Summary: A/U: Emma Swan never thought she'd get married, have the big wedding or meet the perfect guy. And now it's all happening for her. But what when happens when she hires the wedding band and meets the guy she supposed to end up with? How long does it take her to realize she might not have everything she ever wanted after all?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Mid June

Emma Swan is a not a woman who typically cares what people think. She is a not a woman who fauns over sparkly things or feints at the sight of blood. Emma Swan gets her hands dirty and tackles douche bags for a living who skip bail. She is also a woman who likes to wear sky-high heels and red leather. She loves hot chocolate with cinnamon sprinkled on top and sitting criss-cross at the dinner table when she eats. And above all else she is a woman who never in a million years envisioned herself getting married.

4 Months until the Wedding

She stared at it, the _ring._ It's huge and covered in diamonds ( _real diamonds)_ and gaudy – but she loves it. It's just that thing when she was a kid and growing up she never pictured herself having. Sometimes she looks at it and feels the most intense assault of joy and happiness. The idea that someone actually loves her, _her_ – Emma Swan – is like a miracle in itself.

She'd spent years bouncing from different foster families and group homes never feeling like she had a real _home_. Just a sad little orphan that no one cared about and no one ever would. When she couldn't take it anymore she ran away and never looked back.

Now, nearly thirty years old she'd found it – a home - with a man that had taken the time and spent the money on the most perfect ring. That same man walked beside her, holding her hand.

"So where are we going again?" Walsh asked, lightly squeezing her hand pulling her out of her thoughts. They were walking down a New York City sidewalk on their way to check off another box on the wedding to do list: book a band.

"It's a venue called 'The Jolly Roger'. They're still renovating though – they don't even have a sign up yet. And Ruby is meeting us there."

"I still think this is a stupid idea. I mean, they're not even a wedding band and we don't need a band. A D.J. would be so much easier." Emma threw a side glance in his direction. They'd had this conversation a dozen times, all ending with Emma winning. She loved live music and would not skip it on her wedding day.

Unfortunately this task had been particularly difficult to carry out because Walsh insisted on going to every audition with her. That only left so many options due to his busy work schedule. She'd weeded out most the bands she didn't like and the rest they'd gone to see together. But Walsh had shot down almost every one. Now they were getting desperate with the wedding only 4 months away.

"There she is! Ruby!" Emma called, spotting Ruby on the sidewalk chatting with a thin dark haired man in a leather jacket.

"Hey you made it!" Emma's best friend engulfed her in a hug.

"Of course we made it!" She wouldn't miss this. The lead singer was a close friend of Ruby's (one she'd surprisingly never met before) and she'd said they could basically do anything, even a wedding. Ruby had given Emma their EP already so she knew she'd like them and planned to book them, it was now just about convincing Walsh he had something to do with it.

"Well come on in. This is Will Scarlet, he's the drummer." The brunette gestured towards the man next to her and they all exchanged quick pleasantries and handshakes as they entered the building.

The venue, as Ruby mentioned, was indeed under construction. The walls were covered in clear tarps and the floor was unfinished. Emma wasn't paying much attention to all that as she walked in because she was so distracted by the lovely sound of an acoustic guitar playing somewhere beyond an uncovered wooden archway.

Will led them into an open space in front of a decent sized stage and there he was: Killian Jones, source of the strumming, standing at the top of the stage microphone before him. When he glanced up from his strings she immediately recognized him from the few pictures Ruby had showed her.

Ruby had not been lying about how gorgeous he was. Those photos certainly didn't do him justice. Black tousled hair, dark scruff along his chiseled jaw and blue eyes that kind of made her want to swoon; thin but not scrawny in build and she suspected quite muscular arms under the sleeves of his rolled up red flannel. He shot Ruby a sweet smile before turning towards the band idling behind him.

Will had made his way up to his drum kit, anxiously tossing his sticks in the air; a round, shorter man with a red cap and bass guitar stood next to a bulky blond wearing a rhythm guitar. A keyboard stood on the far left unoccupied. They all starred at their vocalist in wait. Killian nodded just as he turned around and they all started playing in unison.

Even though Emma knew she was already going to book them, Ruby had convinced the band to do an "audition" for Walsh's sake. It was really just another band practice for them.

She suspected most of the wiring and sound system had yet to be completed as the sound was coming through a small amp at the front of the stage. She immediately recognized what they played as a version of All Along the Watchtower, a quiet mix of the Jimi Hendrix version and Bob Dylan version. A surprising choice for a wedding band audition.

With her eyes glued to Killian she mouthed the words as he sang, hardly noticing Walsh and Ruby at her side. His buttery tone with hints of grit echoed throughout the small theater. Emma hung on to every word he sang – he was absolutely mesmerizing. She had to remind herself of her soon to be husband standing next to her while she tried not to get too wrapped up in Killian's gorgeous voice.

The song ended with Ruby hooting for more. They played another slower song, one Emma again recognized as a Van Morrison song. Now they were definitely just showing off. Killian winked at Ruby as he sang, grinning as Ruby whistled, cheering them on.

This time when the song ended Killian called them all in for a huddle, muttering for a minute before they retook their places on the stage and launched into another song. Again Emma instantly recognized the 90's classic "Crash (into me)" and was in full swoon by the time it was over. At this point she didn't care if Walsh said anything at all; these guys were perfect for their wedding.

Killian set down his guitar and high-fived the rhythm guitarist just before hopping off the stage. He engulfed Ruby in a giant bear hug for a silent minute before the two turned towards an eager Emma and Walsh.

"Guys, this is Killian Jones! Isn't he amazing?" Ruby gushed, left arm still wrapped around his back.

"Well thanks for that introduction, love, but I wouldn't go that far." He laughed it off modestly (his English accent hitting Emma hard in the gut).

"No, but it was _really_ good." Emma interjected, holding out her hand. "I'm Emma Swan. This is my fiancé, Eric Walsh." She shook his hand smiling like an idiot.

"Just Walsh, please. And I agree, it was good." Walsh also shook Killian's hand and Emma couldn't help but notice the way Killian's ears tinged red.

"Thanks, mate."

"So does that mean we've got the gig?" Another English accent piped up and the group on the floor turned their gaze towards the stage. Will stood there, clutching his drum sticks even though the rest of the band had disintegrated off stage.

Emma glanced back to Walsh expectantly and right on cue she saw the look she'd been waiting for. It didn't really matter at this point, they were out of options but she let Walsh think he had a say.

"I think we need to have a talk about it first." Walsh said to Will and Killian.

"That's quite alright, mate." Killian finally released Ruby from his grasp and clapped his hands together. "Why don't you guys come out to our show tonight? We're playing at a place called the Rabbit Hole in the West Village. It's a different atmosphere and it's a lot of fun. I'll leave the tickets at will call?"

"That sounds great!" Emma shook his hand again and Walsh did the same before they turned to leave. Ruby waved them goodbye as she lingered behind.

Emma and Walsh rode in silence nearly the entire cab ride to the florist. Walsh was practically glued to his phone. It wasn't until Emma put her directly over it when he finally looked up.

"We're not going to that show tonight, Emma."

"And why is that?"

"I told you. I have a dinner meeting with a potential vendor. It's important, can't be rescheduled." He didn't even look at her.

"Fine. You can't go. Did you at least like them?"

"They were the best we've seen so far. But I still think we should hire a DJ."

"I really liked them. I think they'll make the reception more fun, it's different." Emma gave her best "this means a lot to me" eyes. Walsh was silent for a long pause before he sighed and answered.

"If it means that much to you, fine. We can book them." Emma threw her arms around him, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt.

 _(She_ was still going to that show tonight, Walsh or not.)

The next morning Emma rolled off Ruby's couch head pounding, room spinning. She felt around the walls until she made it to the kitchen, turning the Keurig on. When she finally took her first sip of hot coffee the night's events started coming back to her. It'd all been somewhat of a blur, considering that her and Ruby had gotten completely shit-faced or as Killian and his English band mates called it – _piss drunk_.

Emma had picked Ruby up at around 7:30 for dinner before the show. When they arrived at the Rabbit Hole they realized the tickets Killian left had been for some sort of VIP section.

Emma felt about 10 years younger, filing into that tiny crowded bar only now she didn't have X's on her hands and could order alcohol legally. She hadn't known exactly what to expect but it was packed to capacity, supposedly the band was kind of a big deal in this part of the city. That being said she found it odd that it was mostly twenty-something hipsters populating the bar.

Thankfully Emma had Ruby. She felt completely out of place in her black leather dress and pumps. Ruby on the other hand sported black leather leggings and a red lacy top. The two of them stuck out like sore thumbs but it was worth it in the VIP section, which turned out to be a small balcony overlooking the floor and stage with a private bar.

It was after 10pm when the band took the stage. Killian sauntered out like a god under the spot light to the cheering audience. Within seconds the atmosphere changed – heavy with anticipation (or maybe that was just Emma) the crowd shuddered with excitement (again, maybe just Emma). Without a word they launched into an electric heavy song with hints of classic rock mixed with new age alternative rock. It was completely different than what she'd heard earlier. They played for almost an hour after that.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, we are The Crow's Nest," Killian screamed into the microphone over the roar of the crowd, "and we've got two more songs for you tonight. This next one goes out to two lovely ladies in the audience who came out special to see us." He glanced up in their direction and Emma saw him wink before turning around to face the band. They launched straight into an 80's classic cover by The Outfield.

Emma and Ruby screamed as the words _Josie's on a vacation far away_ rippled through the crowd. Emma's lungs burned by the end of the song from endless screaming and dancing, singing _I don't wanna lose your love toniiight_. She was out of breath and sweating everywhere but damn it if she couldn't remember the last time she'd had that much fun.

Her life had been so consumed with wedding planning the last few months she'd rarely had time for any real fun. She quieted the thought immediately. Not a minute later Ruby was dragging her back stage.

"Come on Emma, we have to tell them how awesome that was." She tugged on Emma's protesting arm. But she was powerless against Ruby as they entered the band's lounging area through a haze of smoke and musk.

"Oi! The lovely ladies are here!" Killian greeted them by throwing his arms around both the women's shoulders and guiding them towards a ruddy old couch. He smelled like sweat, alcohol, and something spicy, like cloves.

"I trust you enjoyed yourselves, darlings." He turned to Emma breathing in her ear so only she could hear, "You're looking a bit flushed, lass." The closeness of his lips, practically on her neck sent a chill her back as the three of them plopped down on the couch in unison.

"Yes! I love the new cover you added to the set." Ruby gushed as someone handed her a beer. Emma found one in her hand as well.

"That means a lot coming you, love." He gave Ruby a little squeeze then leaned forward to grab a beer he must have left behind on the grungy excuse of a coffee table. He turned back to Emma, sweeping his damp hair off his forehead and pointing at Ruby, "this one's a right pain in my arse."

"I just know what I like. And tonight was good." She crossed her long legs taking swig of her beer, "actually really good." She added sending a side glance at Emma.

"That was the most fun I've had in months." Emma confessed taking a sip of her beer.

"Come off it, love. That can't be true." He looked at her disbelieving. She just nodded. "Oh dear, then we've got to keep that up!" He was about to stand up when he turned back to her. "Wait, does that also mean that you've decided to hire us?" He wagged his eyebrows in question, the corners of his lips slowly turning up.

Emma glanced up into his startlingly blue eyes and for a second couldn't find the words until Ruby nudged her shoulders.

"Yes! We want The Crow's Nest to play at the wedding!" She answered as Killian's face lit up.

"You hear that?!" He shouted over the chatter-filled room. For the first time Emma looked around, noticing the other members lingering about. Killian held his beer up in cheers, "We're going to play our first wedding, lads!" They all clapped and whooped playfully. "I think this calls for a celebration." He said back to Emma and Ruby as he stood up and disappeared out the door from which they came.

Ruby immediately scooted to Emma's side. "You didn't tell me you and Walsh decided to book these guys!" she squealed.

"You knew I was always going to book them!"

"Yeah, but not officially."

"Well now you know. They are definitely amazing and it will be so different than anything I've seen done at a wedding."

Killian reappeared setting a black tray on the coffee table revealing an assortment of shot glasses each filled with various shades of alcohol. He thrust one into each Emma and Ruby's hands and then held up his own, "To the first Crow's Nest wedding gig and to the happy couple!"

Emma gladly clinked her glass to the rest and took the shot, the first shot she'd had in god knows how long. She deserved to have a little fun.

"Another!" Ruby handed both Emma and Killian a second glass.

"Cheers!" Killian downed the shot as did the girls. Before she knew it the tray of shots was empty and two shots turned into _I don't' know how many_. Killian kept bringing more back from the bar – something about the band getting free alcohol.

The rest of the night swirled in her memories like the creamer in her coffee. She normally wasn't a big fan of the stuff but it was a coffee kind of morning. She shuffled into the living room, finally finding what she was looking for in her disgruntled high heel next to the couch and pulled out her phone. She had 5 missed calls and messages from Walsh. Scrolling through her texts she found the jumbled message she'd sent to Walsh (at _3am!)._ The calls had stopped after that according to her call log.

"Coffee?" Ruby wondered in, ruffling her mane of dark locks. Emma pointed to the Keurig that was on its second brew for her. She nodded in thanks as she grabbed the mug.

She was still scrolling through her phone when Emma found texts from Killian. When did she even give him her number?

Looking forward to the wedding. Let's get together soon to discuss the set list. Killian

Also, hope you're feeling better ;)

She showed the texted to Ruby who just laughed. "The last thing I remember was taking shots."

"Maybe Killian will remember?" Ruby arched an eyebrow.

"Very funny."

Emma picked up her phone intending to call Walsh but when she saw the time she knew he wouldn't answer. He would already be at work. So instead she sent him a quick text letting him know she was alive, sufficiently hung over and would be spending the day in bed.

Ruby's place wasn't too far from Emma's so she walked. Feeling the hard cement under her feet grounded her; the pounding in her head reminding her with every step why she hardly ever drank the whole way home.

She ended up spending most the day in bed with Netflix and hot chocolate. It was Saturday and in a life pre-wedding she'd probably have spent it staking out somewhere waiting for a perp. Another life as a bail bond's person.

It had been Walsh's idea to take a break from work. She still worked for a while at first, but when she takes on a client, so to speak, she completely buries herself in their life. Sometimes it goes by fast and she gets the perp right away and other times it takes more time. Either way she gets her man and then it's onto the next. It became too mentally taxing to take on someone else's life and plan her own at the same time.

Plus who couldn't use a break from work? And they would be married soon so the whole what's mine is yours bit totally applies to their situation. They already lived together too; everything would just be so much easier this way.

She would have all the time in world to plan the perfect wedding. Emphasis on Perfect.

Emma had never met Walsh's family – they lived far away and hated to travel. But they'd be here for the wedding – the reason why it had to be perfect.

So now instead of stressing about losers trying to flee while out on bail she worried about what flowers were right or what colors to theme the wedding (both undecided). She may have the time to plan but she was realizing she wasn't great at it.

It was about 2pm when her phone rang, raising from her sleep coma.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?" Walsh asked sounding a little rushed. He probably had a small break at work and was just calling to check up on her.

"I've been better but I've also been worse." She yawned and stretched.

"Well I've got Chinese take-out on its way to the apartment, your favorite. Should help that hang over right along."

"My hero." Emma smiled to herself.

"Well I've got some bad news. I'll be home late. I've got a follow up meeting with the rep from last night."

"On a Saturday night, babe?"

"I know I know. But I'm so close to landing this guy Emma. He's a real up and comer and his designs would be perfect for the summer line."

"You don't have to sell me Walsh, I just want to see you." She sighed, knowing it was a big deal for him.

"I know, babe. I'll try not to be home too late."

"No no, you get the guy and we'll have dinner tomorrow."

"I love you, Emma."

"Love you too."

She hung up the phone and attempted to get out of bed. She wasn't 22 anymore and it seemed her body was so unaccustomed to the amount of alcohol she'd consumed; it did not agree with her. Her head still pounded maybe even worse than this morning.

She tip-toed into the kitchen and poured a glass of water when the door buzzer went off. She let the delivery man up and collected the food Walsh had sent her, already paid for too.

It was always the little things that reminded her how lucky she was.

Emma was just about to plop on the couch with her food and Netflix (to continue her Dexter marathon) when her phone buzzed.

Ruby had sent her a picture from the night before captioned:

"Look what I found."

It was her, Ruby and Killian taking a seflie on that god awful couch backstage. She must have been really far gone because she had no memory whatsoever of this. Her eyes were closed and Killian's arm stretched around her shoulder while Ruby held out the phone on the left.

She ignored the small pang in her gut the sight, attributing it to hunger, as she smiled at the photo.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Late June

3 Months and 2 weeks Until Wedding Day

* * *

5 months and 2 weeks almost to the day Walsh proposed to Emma.

Emma Swan was a practical woman. She had to be. She spent her entire adolescent years growing up too fast in a mess of uncertainty. Between being adopted by the Swans as an infant and then given back to the system as a toddler – she never knew where she'd find a stable place to live.

When she stopped worrying about the system and finding a new foster _family_ she learned that she could never look back. She learned she'd have to depend on herself and that had to be enough. She didn't always know if she'd be sleeping under a bridge or in a shelter but she always managed to take care of herself.

There was a dark time when she'd briefly deluded herself into thinking she'd finally found the home she'd always been looking for. He was charming and taught her how to survive and live outside the law. And he'd convinced her that they were the real deal. Until they weren't anymore. He decided she was better off taking the fall for his crime and allowing her to rot in jail for 15 months.

She'd say she learned the hard way with that one that true love wasn't real and that she'd certainly never find it.

But that was no longer true. Because ten years later she'd met the man who would truly be the love of her life. And when Walsh proposed she did not want to be caught off guard. Emma had learned by now that she must be someone calculated and cautious.

So when it became evident that Walsh and Emma were serious, they talked about it. There would be no great big surprise and no public spotlight on her when it occurred. At least that's what she wanted. And they'd gotten to the point where when he asked, Emma would say yes.

So a few days after Valentine's Day – they couldn't celebrate on the actual date because Emma had been knee deep in a case – Walsh took Emma to the restaurant where they'd had their first date.

She'd been so distracted by the case that the idea of Walsh proposing has completely escaped her. So when the dessert plate whirled around to reveal a diamond ring in a public place at a time when she was not expecting it – Emma Swan was floored to say the least.

She'd accepted of course because she knew that's all she'd ever wanted – a home. And she knew Walsh loved her and wanted to make her his home.

Now for 6 months she'd been rushing around to meet their October wedding date, planning what had to be the perfect wedding. She'd been so busy with it that she'd actually gotten used to the pressure settling in her chest. The pressure that every so often felt absolutely bone-crushing under the weight of it all.

What if Walsh's family didn't like her or accept her? What if they thought her shady past was too much of a dark cloud for their perfect family?

Walsh never allowed her to verbalize her concerns with him, saying that she was just paranoid and that if anyone knew that they would love her it was him. So she kept her paranoid thoughts buried under center pieces and place settings.

She focused on days like today, times when she remembered that planning a wedding could actually be fun.

Emma stood of at the entrance of a coffee shop, looking around and immediately spotted him. Killian Jones, front man for The Crow's Nest – the band she'd booked for the wedding. It was hard to miss someone that good looking with his swept black hair, dark scruff and flannel shirt. He was also the only person with a guitar case.

It had been two weeks since she'd seen him with Ruby at the Rabbit Hole and it was not likely something she'd forget. (Apart for the bits she couldn't actually remember due to the copious amounts of alcohol she'd consumed that night.)

"Killian?"

"Emma! So good to see you again, lass!" He reached out; grasping her outstretched hand with both his and she could feel his strong callused fingers. "I was hoping we could get our coffee to go? I had an idea for our planning session, if you're willing?" His eyebrows arched questioningly and she was powerless to resist his charms and it wasn't even noon.

"That's fine, let me just get my coffee." She smiled before getting in line.

Five minutes later they were walking out the door with ice coffees in hand.

"So how goes the wedding planning?" Killian asked as he subtly guided them towards his mystery spot.

"It's good." She answered, pausing to sip her coffee as they weaved through the crowded sidewalk. "It's funny though, no one ever really tells you about this part. Everyone's always so busy bragging about the ring and the proposal but they always neglect to mention how stressful it really is planning a wedding." She didn't know why she was being so candor with him. Emma hadn't really told anyone how stressed she'd been with everything. "But I'm not complaining. Its things like today that make it all worth it."

"And the bit about actually getting married I'm sure."

"That too!" She mock cheersed her coffee in the air. "No, but this is the part I've been looking forward to the most. I'm so excited to have live music at the wedding. You guys are awesome; it's going to be so great."

"I'm glad to hear it! We're all excited. It's definitely something quite new for us." He glanced at her, smiling sincerely. He turned back to the sidewalk; he'd been leading them into Central Park.

Emma watched the passersby with their Frisbees and their dogs.

"So what kind of music do you enjoy?" Killian asked.

"Well I loved your show we went to. I really just love all kinds of rock – classic, alternative, indie, and grunge. I even went through a punk phase (but that didn't stick). I guess I'm open to all kinds."

"What are some of your favorites?" Killian asked as they came to a bench overlooking a pond. She'd been to the park maybe fifty times since she'd moved to New York over a year ago and she'd never seen this area before. It was nicely secluded, surrounded by trees but by overlooking the pond she could still see all the activity with less chance of being disturbed. Killian followed Emma's gaze as they both took their seat on the bench. "I like to come here sometimes and play. No one ever complains." Emma nodded as she contemplated the answer to his question.

"Hmm, well I love Led Zeppelin of course, Queen, Pink Floyd, Jimi Hendrix. I mean I could keep going. Eric Clapton, Aerosmith, CCR." Killian's face looked like he'd just won the jackpot lottery. "What?"

"Nothing I just wouldn't have thought you would be such a fan of that sort of music." He replied, grinning.

"But that's just it, I love all kinds. Like Van Morrison, Dave Matthews Band, John Mayer, Kings of Leon, Bob Marley, Death Cab for Cutie, Mumford and Sons."

"Oh dear, a woman after my own musical heart." He laughed, mock clutching his chest.

"Well I'm glad we're on the same page because," she shuffled around in her purse pulling out a thick binder packed with various wedding plans. She flipped to the page revealing a detailed spreadsheet with all the songs she'd thought about for the wedding and when they might be played. "I've brought this to look over." She handed him the page.

"You certainly are organized." He mumbled as his eyes scanned over the titles and band names. "I do love these. We can definitely make this work."

"Well I wasn't expecting you guys to be able to play everything, they're just ideas I had."

"We already know some of these covers. I mean Huey Lewis and the News, Michael Jackson, even Pat Benatar – these are just," he turned to look at her, "perfect."

The closeness of his perfectly blue gaze made her stomach jump - she couldn't help it if the man was gorgeous. She cleared her throat. "Well if you have any suggestions or want to add in the covers you already know, if they're appropriate, I'd like that too."

"Now that you mention it I do have some suggestions. I see you want to walk down the aisle to Joe Cocker –,"

"No, no," she interrupted, "That's for when the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk. I'm actually not sure yet about what I want to walk down the aisle to."

"Okay, well what about something a little more current?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Have you heard of Ed Sheeran?"

Emma nodded her head, "I've heard of him but I'm not really familiar with his library."

"He's got this song called 'Thinking Out Loud' and it's quite romantic songs. May I?" He gestured towards his guitar case and Emma silently nodded as he started unzipping the contents. "He actually plays it with an electric but I've been learning it on acoustic. This is about how it might sound if I played when you walked."

Emma scooted all the way to the right of the bench to give Killian ample room to play. As he began she was immediately mesmerized once again by the grace and elegance of his voice wrapped in a husky charm.

At first he started out slow and quiet but then he got really into it when the verse started.

" _And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways._

 _Maybe just the touch of a hand._

 _Well me – I fall in love with you every single day_

 _And I just wanna tell you I am…"_

He glanced up at her through his long black eyelashes as he sang and she had to suppress the chill she felt creeping down her spine.

He continued the song while Emma watched in a trance, hypnotized by his every word, much like when she watched him perform the first time. He was a natural with the guitar but his voice was like a warm blanket she wanted to snuggle up in.

When he finished the song – _"And we found love right where we are," –_ Emma took a deep breath, reminding herself to breathe.

"That was – I don't even know – amazing. That song is great, you are great. I just – wow." She stood up with her hands on her hips slightly pacing in front of him as his ears reddened at her compliments.

"Thanks, lass." He lightly scratched behind his ear as he watched her in front of him.

"Listen, I just need – I'll be right back. Okay?" She snatched up her bag from the bench and walked towards the public bathrooms throwing a glance over her shoulder in time to see him still scratching his head watching as she walked off.

She just needed a minute to breathe. To remind herself that Killian was singing at her _wedding._ Where she was marrying Walsh.

Emma walked all the way to the public bathrooms just to splash water on her face.

"Sorry about that." She said when she returned to Killian who now had the guitar propped up next to him. "I was just so blown away that I wanted to call Walsh and tell him about it," She lied.

"That's quite alright." He looked up at her and she noticed he had her list of songs in his lap.

"I just hope the first dance song is that good."

"Well you have Harvest Moon by Neil Young here and I think that's a great choice for a first dance."

Emma and Killian spent the rest of the morning going over the different songs. Killian had made some suggestions she'd never have thought of like John Mayer's Gravity ("There's just something really sexy about that song.") and Boston's More Than a Feeling ("No wedding is complete with a Boston cover."). She'd also come with a few new ones herself in their brainstorming: Home by Edward Sharp and The Magnetic Zeros ("I heard it in a movie once, it's cute!") and Michael Jackson's The Way You Make Me Feel for the introduction song.

For the first time in almost six months since getting engaged Emma had thoroughly enjoyed planning her wedding. Killian was excellent company. He made her laugh and smile like an idiot.

She also found it extremely telling what kind of music a person listens to and she couldn't help but notice the similarities between her and Killian's taste in music.

"Oh I have one more thing, I almost forgot." They'd left their bench in Central Park to find a hotdog stand. "The contract. Probably should have led with this." She pulled out the document as they waited in line. "It's pretty standard, 4 hours play time like we discussed, 3 breaks, food and refreshments included. Should there be some kind of issue and you're released with a month or less to go you will not be paid in full. Pretty basic really."

"Just as long as we're not selling our souls to the devil," he paused and looked her up and down, "…although that might not be so bad." He teased before Emma playfully shoved him. "I'll just have the lads go over it to be sure."

"That's fine. Just look over it, sign it and get it back to me by next week please." She tried not to sound too uptight about it. Up until this point everything had been laid back and casual between them. She felt like she made a friend today.

"I can have it at your office by the end of the week! Where do you work again?" He pointed to a bench as they made to sit with their hot dogs.

"Actually I'm not working right now. Normally I'm a bail bonds person but I'm taking some time off to focus on the wedding."

"You don't sound too enthused about that." He observed, taking a bite.

"You don't miss anything do you?" She tried to laugh it off but he was too sincere. "Alright, no I'm not. I actually like to work. But Walsh thought it might be less stressful to just take a break from all of that and focus on planning." She took a bite of her hot dog.

"Sounds like you've got it all figured out, Swan." Killian said and she smiled at the endearment.

"And what about you, _Jones?_ What do you do when you're not moonlighting as a rock god?"

"A rock god? I do like the sound of that." He stood up to throw away his napkin. "Well you know The Jolly Roger? The club you saw us play at the first time? I actually just purchased it. That's why it's been undergoing renovations."

For a second Emma was dumbfounded. That was the last thing she expected to hear from him.

"Wow that is something. What made you want to buy a club?"

"Well I love music. I love to play music. And I'd come into some money a few years back and it was just burning a hole in my bank account. When the opportunity presented itself I couldn't say no. Not that I know much about running a club. Though, I sure know how to drink all its contents."

"I'll say. I think I was the most drunk I have ever been when Ruby and I saw you guys play at The Rabbit Hole."

"Dear me, lass, my apologies – however, we were celebrating." He looked at her mischievously.

"That's right we were! … You know, I think you're going to be amazing at running your club."

"Thank you," he smiled looking down at his hands as they still sat at their bench in front of the hotdog stand. "Well I have to say, I think this was a very successful first meeting."

"First meeting?"

"Oh yes, Swan, I do believe there are several more meetings required." He stood up and held out his hand to help her off the bench.

"Well if you insist." She took his hand grinning like an idiot again. She couldn't say no to more meetings about the music, they might be the only thing to keep her sane during the planning process.

Shortly after that the two parted ways with a friendly hug.

Overall the day had been a success. It had definitely been the most fun she'd had planning the wedding to date.

* * *

"How was the meeting yesterday with that Swan woman? Ruby's friend." Robin, Killian's best friend asked as he stood in Killian's loft kitchen.

Killian opened up the refrigerator and handed him a beer before he pulled out his own. "It actually went really well."

"Did you discuss the setlist?" The two moved into the open seating area in front of a large flat-screen television. Killian flipped on a baseball game.

"Emma had a list prepared already. She has really fantastic taste in music, you'd be surprised. She loves the classics like Led Zeppelin, Queen, Pink Floyd – but then she also likes stuff like John Mayer and Mumford and Sons. I mean the woman seriously appreciates not only good music but good musicianship as well – what?"

Robin was watching Killian as he rambled on about Emma with a smug look on his face.

"You _fancy_ her."

"I do not!" He replied much faster than he meant to. "I mean, I don't fancy her. I just can appreciate a woman with great taste in music."

"Well you better not. She's engaged to be married."

"Trust me; I am well aware of that." He answered as Robin still eyed him suspiciously.

"What about the list? Do you have a copy?" Robin finally asked, moving on.

Killian nodded as he pulled out his phone and began scrolling through his email to find it. "Here you are." He handed the device to Robin.

"Oh yeah these are definitely do-able."

"That's what I said. I added in some too that we already know."

"Well this is definitely going to be an interesting experience." Robin continued going through the list of songs as Killian shifted his attention over to the baseball game.

Long after his team lost the game and Robin went home Killian stood in his kitchen going over the setlist once more. Robin reviewed it with no qualms and took it along with the contract home to look over.

As he scrolled through the long list of love songs his mind wondered back to that morning a few days ago he'd spent with Emma. He knew he would like her from the moment he saw her when he took the stage at his club and her eyes were glued to him. Not in the way that other women normally watched him when he sang, but in such a way that he knew she was really listening to the music and appreciating it.

That morning when he'd played her the Ed Sheeran song he thought he might have seen the other thing. The thing in a woman's eye he normally saw right before he decided it was time to get out and run.

But with Emma it was different. He wanted to stay. And in that moment she was the one who ran. She literally sprinted away from him as soon as he'd finished the song leaving him scratching his head, wondering what the bloody hell was going on. Because he wanted to stay and he hadn't felt that way in a _very long_ _time._ Not since _her._

He didn't think of her, _Milah – the love of his life_ , he wouldn't allow himself. And every time he almost did he pushed it away. That was a lifetime ago. A life where he was young, with a family and happy. And very very stupid.

But he wasn't stupid now, not like he was when he was 25 and thought falling in love with an older, _married_ , woman was a good idea. When he thought she'd actually leave her scumbag husband and her _son._ That was never going to happen and he was too naive and too bloody stupid to realize it.

And when Liam died, the last of his family, his best friend and older brother – when he thought he couldn't break anymore – that's when Milah told him she was going back. Back to the father of her child and awful man she called her husband to give their family another chance.

Could he really blame her for that? No, but he could blame her for the worst timing in the world.

But none of that mattered. He was smarter now because now when he saw that look in a woman's eye, the one that said she _might_ be falling for him, he left. He left before things got too messy and anyone got their hearts broken.

So whatever he thought he saw in Emma's eyes and whatever he thought he felt – he pushed it down, way down. Because he didn't fall in love anymore. _And she was_ _engaged_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Early July**

3 Months until Wedding

Crimson, cranberry, midnight blue? Seriously why can't it just be red or blue? Emma hovered above her kitchen table, a table that was covered in magazine clippings with different wedding color schemes and her laptop open to Pintrest. She'd been putting this off for far too long. In just a few days the girls had their dress appointments and she had her fitting so it might help to have an idea of the colors by then.

The door made a terrible screeching noise. Emma looked up simultaneously remembering Walsh was bringing home dinner and rushed over to open it.

"Hey there, I'll take that." She pulled the plastic take out bag from his arms and kissed his cheek as he closed the door. "Oh you didn't get Chinese?" She pouted, rummaging through the bag.

"I was more in the mood for Korean." Walsh shrugged, wondering over to the kitchen table, eyes glossing over the wedding pictures.

"I was just doing a bit of planning. What do you think?"

"Hmm?"

"The color. What do you think?" She started pulling out the containers and emptying them onto plates not really expecting him to say anything. He'd kept quiet about planning and left most of the planning process to her. "I'm leaning towards the Cranberry and Gold combo."

"I like this red one." He held up a glossy page featuring a long Champaign dress that was really more of a muddy color as Emma walked past him bringing the plates into the living room.

"Eh, I saw that one. But I haven't completely decided on the color scheme of the décor either so they have to go together." She diverted, settling down on the couch. "Could you grab the glasses and wine please?"

"What has to go together?" He asked, bringing over her request.

"The dresses and the color scheme of the décor. It all has to go together. And I guess we'll find out what looks best when we see the venue in two days." They'd planned a short trip to visit the vineyard they'd booked for the venue. They'd seen it once before, one of their first trips away together and thought it would be nice to have the wedding there. Well Emma had, Walsh didn't get much of a say. It wasn't far from the city and not too expensive. She just wanted to go back to get a fresh idea of how everything would look for the wedding. Plus it was a good excuse to get out of town with him.

"Oh, sweetie, did I forget to mention I can't make it? Something at work came up and I really can't miss it. You'll just have to take one of the girls."

"Seriously? We've had this planned for weeks now. You can't leave me hanging." Emma watched Walsh heartbroken as he poured their wine.

"I'm sorry but I just can't miss this." He took a sip. "Just call up Ruby or Mary Margret. I'm sure you can get one of them to fill in for me."

Alright girls weekend it is. Ruby was more than happy to drop everything and take a weekend getaway with her best friend.

~!~

Two days later Emma was standing in Grand Central station waiting, luggage in hand.

Emma pulled out her phone to check the time just when it began to ring.

"Ruby, you better be calling to tell me you're just around the corner because our train is leaving in less than 10 minutes." Emma said, scanning the station for her friend.

"Emma I am so sorry but something came up at work. A lead in a case and I can't leave."

"Seriously? Again? Can't anyone just take a few days off to go on a lovely country trip with me?" She huffed but she knew it was a good thing for Ruby, but it didn't stop her from being disappointed. "Well good for you at least. I'll be fine on my own. I always am. I was just looking forward to having a friend come along."

"Well… you will have a friend."

"You were the only person that could've made it. Everyone else is busy." She was already moving towards the platforms when she took one last involuntary glance around the station when she saw him. "Oh Ruby you didn't."

"Yes I did! Now you won't be alone and it will still be fun."

"Ruby, I'm getting married. I can't be taking trips out of the city with other men." _Especially a man so beautiful,_ she thought. Emma turned her back as she saw the familiar tousled black hair and usual flannel shirt looming closer. "Plus, we've only spent one day together, I barely know the guy. He could be a weirdo." _Or she was afraid to be alone with him._

"Emma, you will be fine. He's a gentleman. He told me so himself." Emma could hear the giggling on the other end and took that as her cue to end the call. Just as she was turning back around Killian Jones came into view. He took one look at her unamused face and cracked a crooked smile.

"Sorry, love, you're stuck with me." He shrugged, his guitar case bobbing in hand. She huffed and picked up her overnight bag.

"Well come on, the train's about to leave without us."

~!~

Of course it wasn't terrible sharing a train car with Killian Jones. Emma already knew she got along well with him. It wasn't long before they fell easily into conversation. The spent the entire ride talking about everything from movies and books to music of course. She even found herself telling him about how she'd met Walsh. It wasn't a romantic story at all.

Emma had just moved to a new place after an apartment fire and desperately needing all new things. She'd found Walsh's furniture shop and immediately fell in love. With an end table. It wouldn't be ready for weeks he'd told her. So when she got the call that it was ready early she'd been so excited that she'd actually said yes when Walsh asked her out. And now she was getting married to the guy.

"Do you ever just look at your life and think: how the hell did I get here?" She didn't mean for it sound so terrible. "I just mean if someone had told me 10 years ago that I'd ever be getting married I would have said no way in hell."

Killian paused like he was going to say something but thought better of it.

"What?" She asked.

"Tell me something Emma, have you ever been in love?" She thought about telling him about Neal and the whole jail situation whenshe was 18 but eventually thought better of it and settled for the next best thing.

"Maybe I was. Once. Or I thought I was."

"So… what changed?"

"You're not shy about your questions are you, Jones?"

"You're avoiding the question, love."

She was avoiding the question because she didn't know how to answer. She was serious, she didn't know how she got there because sometimes she felt like a kid all over again, lost and afraid and alone. And then she remembered she wasn't alone and that someone actually did love her. Someone wanted to be with her enough to spend the rest their life with her. She had to keep reminding herself of that.

"I guess it didn't really change until he proposed. And then I said yes? Knowing that someone loves you enough to say 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' or 'I'll never leave you' is a game changer."

Killian shifted his eyes down and she couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"So he left you, the one from 10 years ago?" Killian finally asked after a pause, glancing back up at her, face wiped of emotions.

"More like set me up to take the fall for his crime and I went to prison for 15 months." Emma spat out, a bitter taste on her tongue. "But it was so much more than that! I mean what kind of guy abandons his 17 year old pregnant girlfriend!?" She clapped her hand to her mouth the second the words came out. She'd said much more than she'd meant to.

Killian looked shocked for a moment and then his eyes softened and she saw the sympathy. And he waited for her, giving her the space to continue if she wanted.

Emma lowered her hand and paused, ponding the best way to continue.

"Well he didn't actually know I was pregnant at the time…. I was in a bad place. Literally. I couldn't be a mother." She was beginning to ramble, more to herself. "I had decided I wasn't going to keep it. I grew up in foster care, I know what it's like and I wouldn't put a child through that. Adoption was the only option." She took a deep breath because she didn't know why she was telling Killian any of this, but suddenly she needed to say it. "And then I lost it. A tiny little peanut that I'd decided from the start that I couldn't keep it and then it didn't matter anymore."

Emma watched Killian, chewing the inside of her lip and anticipating what, she didn't know.

"Well, I can see now why you wouldn't predict marriage in your future." He said lightly, making her smile.

Then he leaned forward in his chair, surveying her. "We all go through our own crusades, Emma. I believe it is about how we pick ourselves up after we've lost the battle that determines our fate." He let the last syllable linger and Emma found herself drawn to him, reeled in by his infinitely blue eyes.

"Is that why you left England? Because of your crusade?" She asked softly, not wanting to break the spell. His eyes flickered for a fraction of a second to her lips and back up to her eyes; she almost thought he was going to kiss her. She must have been imagining it because he just sighed deeply and leaned back in his chair.

"Aye. There's nothing left for me there."

Killian Jones was full of surprises. She'd revealed herself most unexpectedly because for some reason she felt like she couldn't hide from him. She didn't want to hide and she felt like she really could be herself in front of him.

Whether the same could be said for Killian in front of Emma, that was another story. She itched to know more of his mysterious past. But she suspected his walls were even higher than hers.

She felt comforted in his presence though. She leaned back in the chair and looked out the window, mulling over what he'd said. Everyone had their crusades and lord knows she's had her fair share of battles in her life – they both had it seemed. But they'd picked themselves back up. Killian had a club and she was getting married and had a real life. But they'd be okay.

~!~

Half an hour later they arrived at the Enchanted Forest Vineyard.

It was just like a fairytale. Billowing willow trees, vast rolling hills behind the vineyard and a little bed and breakfast on site that was like a flashback into the renaissance. It was everything she remembered from the last time her and Walsh were there.

When they checked into the Inn she realized there would only be one bed. This wouldn't have been a problem if it would have still been her and Ruby but now it was definitely going to be a problem. And just like some silly Rom-Com there was no way to upgrade or change rooms. They were booked solid – it wasn't even a holiday weekend.

"Let's just drop off our things and enjoy the day shall me? We'll worry about that later." Killian assured her it would be fine and that'd they'd figure it out.

They spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the Vineyard. For some reason it was packed with people, from all over for the weekend. There wasn't much time to worry or think about anything else besides the activities of the day.

Killian and Emma took a tour of the distillery – a great big old fashioned-looking red barn. An attached warehouse-like structure is where they actually made the wine. They bought their wine glasses and were allowed to sample several different types of the wine.

Then the two of them went off on their own to find the ceremony and reception cite for the wedding. The ceremony would take place on the grass near a small pond overlooking a cute little wooden bridge. Then after the ceremony everyone would migrate back over to the barn. Since the actual distillery wasn't in the barn that's where most of the events took place. Inside was a loft overlooking a wooden floor space.

Emma had opted for the outside reception cite which was in a courtyard outside of the barn. There were beautiful twinkle lights strung up and lining the area. There was even a little stage for the band. She took pictures on her phone for décor references for later. It was already beautiful but she had a few things up her sleeve. Emma knew it would be even more beautiful in the fall when the leaves started changing color. That's exactly what she was going for.

After they surveyed the different wedding cites and Emma had gotten enough pictures of the area Killian suggested another tour, this time of the grounds.

He'd been quiet a lot of the time, muttering here and there but mostly lost in thought. Emma wondered not for the first time when they ventured on their walking tour of the grounds why he'd agreed to this romantic trip with her. She couldn't even get the closest people in her life to attend and yet an almost stranger had agreed to it. He'd made no advances towards her; he was a gentleman all day, apart from sly comments here and there but she took no offense.

She wondered why he was even single. Ruby had briefly mentioned that he was a bit of a ladies man, but not really a relationship guy – at least not in the time she'd known him. He seemed nice enough, definitely handsome enough, and at times cocky enough. But Emma could tell whatever he wasn't sharing was weighing on him.

She almost asked him about it as they set up their picnic blanket with the rest of the tour group. The words almost bumbled out of her mouth at she was winding the corkscrew to open their complimentary bottle of red when another patron of the tour interrupted her thoughts.

"I'm sorry but you two are just the cutest! Are you getting married here?" The woman asked in her thick southern dawl as she eyed Emma's engagement ring.

It took Emma a second to close her mouth when she finally answered, "Oh thank you! But, sadly, no. He's actually just my wedding planner." She glanced at Killian, raised eyebrows and all and turned back to the woman. "He's just too good to be true, if you know what I mean," she joked, smiling.

It took the woman a moment of recognition before she shook her head disappointed, "They never are." She turned back to her friends leaving Emma laughing hysterically.

"What are you playing at?"

"Oh I just meant, you uh, you know."

"No, what?"

"That you play for the other team."

"What are you talking about? I don't play any kind of sport, except for the occasional rugby in the park but –," and it finally clicked, a wave of realization washing over him and Emma covered her mouth as she nearly fell over from laughing. "Oh very funny, Swan. I'll have you know any man would be lucky to have me. As would as any woman." He added winking and Emma became very serious again, trying desperately to think of something else.

"So I have to choose wedding colors!" She blurted out not so subtly changing the subject.

"What are you on about, Swan?"

"The theme. The color scheme of the wedding. I have to choose because in a few days the girls have to choose their bridesmaids dresses and the colors have to match the theme." She started riffling through her bag to pull out the two finalists of color schemes. Cranberry and Champaign, she liked to call them. "What do you think?" She handed them to Killian.

He looked at them, very seriously before looking back up at Emma. She tried not to stare into his eyes. They were becoming a problem. "I'm not sure about the Champaign. I think I prefer the red."

"That's what I thought." She cleared her throat and looking back down at the pages. "Walsh likes the champaign though, so I was torn."

"What does your gut tell you?" She didn't know if it was all the wine she'd drank that day or the sun setting before them but she was trying very hard not to listen to her gut at all right now because it was telling her something she dare not think about.

"Red. Definitely the Red." She sighed and sifted through the photos again. "Although, there is something to be said about the midnight blue." She pulled out another page that had been a contender. "You know I even picked out a ring with sapphires, they're my favorite…" She added wistfully as she gazed at the pages. "But red it is!"

They were quiet after that for a long while, until the sun set and the rest of the patrons started packing up the picnic and saying something about dinner. The same woman, Nancy something, that commented on her and Killian told them about a little diner where everyone gets food when the Vineyard closes. It was just a short walk from the Inn.

~!~

After a quick freshening up in their hotel room Emma changed for dinner. She'd packed for an evening with Ruby and brought a dress Ruby had picked out for her. It was this pink flowy thing that she'd never have chosen for herself but it was beautiful. Soft and delicate, nothing like her, she put it on anyway because she hadn't packed anything else besides her clothes for the train ride home and pajamas.

Emma stepped out of the bathroom and saw Killian in front of the mirror, he'd changed too. It was becoming increasing difficult to ignore how handsome he was.

"You clean up nice, Jones." She observed the absence of his usual flannel for a navy blue button-down dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. He'd left the top few buttons undone and she could see a bit of his dark chest hair poking out. This man was definitely trying to kill her with his devastatingly good looks.

"You might even say I'm devilishly handsome –," he was saying, almost to himself as he turned to look at her finishing the last button on his black vest, when he stopped.

"Swan, you look…" His eyes swept over her and she didn't hate the way they lingered on the sweetheart neckline and her exposed collar bones. When he finally met her eyes she exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding and smiled. He was stunned to say the least but she noticed how he quickly schooled his features into a smirking grin. "Good enough to eat."

"Well good thing we're going to dinner so you won't have to." She replied without missing a beat.

They made their way to the small restaurant they'd been told about. It had only been a 10 minute walk. Emma mentally thanked herself for packing the comfortable heals.

The diner was nothing like the vineyard or the Inn they were staying at. It was less renaissance and more 80's than anything.

"Another round please?" Killian ordered from the waitress after they'd finished their meal and several rounds already.

"Somebody's thirsty." Emma commented when the rum arrived, pushing her own full glass back towards him.

"Oh don't make a man drink alone." He slid the glass back towards her.

"We've been drinking together all day."

"Yes and this will delay the hang over."

She grabbed the shot glass, watching his grinning face. It wasn't like she didn't need the stronger drink after the day they'd had together.

"Cheers, love." He held up his glass to her before downing it.

"Alright, Jones." She pushed the empty, upturned short glass in his direction. "Tell me something about you – something I don't know."

He seemed a little caught off guard by this request, as if they hadn't been sharing things about themselves all day but he leaned forward, his face but inches from her and Emma's breath caught in her chest.

"I'll tell you something, _Swan,_ " he practically growled her name and she didn't miss the chill down her spine. "I bloody hate this song." He stood up in a flash and was across the room before she could catch her breath. She leaned back in the booth as she watched him flipping through the options on the old fashioned jukebox.

Suddenly the 80's Eddie Money hit started playing. She'd recognize that song anywhere. Killian sauntered back over to her, singing the opening verse.

" _I feel a hunger; it's a hunger that tries to keep a man awake at night. Are you the answer?_ " He sang with raised eyebrows as he pulled her from the booth.

"Killian, no one is dancing." She looked around and realized that they were completely alone, save for the old woman behind the counter.

"Oh come on, Swan. Live a little." The words of the song rang in her ear as she moved in his grasp: _I can feel you breathe; I can feel your heartbeat faster_.

" _Take me home tonight! I don't wanna let you go til you see the light_." He continued to sing in her ear as they danced around the tables, a makeshift dancefloor.

" _Take me home tonight, listen honey, just like Ronnie sang_ ," She sang back, as he spun her around.

" _Be my little babeh_." He half sang, half laughed as he caught her when she spun back into his arms.

For a fraction of a second the music sidelined and all she could hear was his panting from heavy laughter and movement. Then he let her go and they continued dancing and singing the lyrics together: _I get frightened in all this darkness; I get nightmares I hate to sleep alone; I need some company, a guardian angel – to keep me warm when the cold winds blow._

" _Take me home tonight; Just like Ronnie sang: be like little babeh, oh oh oh_." Killian sang loudly and adorably as they exited the diner. It was late as they walked back to the Inn.

"Tell me something, Swan." He was definitely drunk. He'd continued to play 80's music until the old woman had finally told them to leave but not before he'd had a few more drinks. "What is it about this Walsh guy? What do you see in him?"

"Seriously?" _Please don't do this,_ she mentally pleaded with him. She really didn't want to go there. They'd had such a lovely day together, why now?

"Not like that, love. Just what is it about him? Honestly?"

Killian probably wouldn't remember this tomorrow anyway. She thought about it carefully before she answered. "He makes me feel safe. And loved, I told you that."

"Yes but will he sing you 80's lullabies into the wee hours of the night."

"Killian." She stopped in her tracks and so did he, turning to face her. It was then that she realized their height difference. He didn't exactly tower over he like Walsh, but just tall enough so they were at eye level with her heels on.

His face was inches from her again, invading her space, and this time she felt the anticipation – the way his fiery blue eyes locked onto hers and she knew he meant to kiss her. Before she let it happen she took a fraction of a step backwards.

It felt like an ocean between them. But the message was understood.

Killian promptly took several more steps away and began humming the song again as they wordlessly walked back to the bed and breakfast.

That night he slept on the floor. It wasn't even a topic of discussion. He simply took an extra pillow and blanket from the armoire and lay down without a word. They'd not said more than muttered goodnights since they'd gotten back to the room.

The next morning Emma woke to Killian's absence. She got ready to the tune of a heavy heart and a guilty conscious. Nothing happened but Emma still felt terrible. She wouldn't admit to herself that she might've wanted to kiss Killian last night.

Hopefully he won't remember or just chalk it up to a drunken almost mistake.

But she did feet a pang of guilt when she read Walsh's text about wanting to make it up to her when she returned from the trip. Especially when she realized she'd forgotten to tell him about the change of plans and who her travel mate was.

"Morning, Swan." Speak of the devilishly handsome man. He arrived just as she emerged from the bathroom, ready for the return journey home. "I brought you coffee and a bagel." His charming smile definitely did not tighten the knot in her chest as she grabbed the coffee and brown bag from his hands.

"Thanks," Smiling she sipped from the paper cup, "hmm, how did you know how I take my coffee?"

"Oh, I suppose I just remembered," he lightly scratched behind his ear and she did not miss the reddening of his cheeks. "From a few weeks ago…" He turned his back to her as he began throwing his things into his backpack. Still smiling to herself, Emma began shuffling her own things back into her overnight bag.

"How're you feeling anyway?" She needed a gauge on where he was with remembering the previous night's events.

"Bit of a headache but nothing some caffeine and carbs won't fix. Although must have drank quite a lot last night. I'm a bit foggy on how we got back here. And why I woke up on the floor."

"Hey, you wanted the floor. Didn't even fight me for the bed."

"Well I am a gentleman. Even a drunken one. But my apologies for any un-gentlemanly behavior that might've occurred in the fog." He scratched behind his ear again, smiling sheepishly.

Whether he remembered the near-kiss experience or not he was playing it off well and she fully intended to pretend as though nothing happened at all. Because nothing happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Several Days Later**

"I just don't know about this color Emma." Ruby stood atop a small circular platform, wearing a floor-length Champagne colored gown. She'd been all about the cranberry and gold color scheme so when Emma told her it was going to be this instead Ruby was a bit skeptical.

Emma had caved to the color Walsh had picked out. It has been his only real input on planning the wedding and she liked having at least one of his ideas incorporated. Her bridesmaids were not happy.

"Oh come on! It's not that bad." Emma sighed in his chair opposite Ruby, having gone over this several times already.

"Look out bride-zilla coming though!" Ruby laughed, smoothing out the edges of the gown as she watched herself in the mirror.

"I don't know what you're talking about Ruby, I love this color." Mary Margret announced as she strode out of the dressing room also sporting a short dress, flowing around the brunette's hips.

Mary Margaret was one of Emma's oldest friends. She'd met Ruby and MM around the same time.

After she'd gotten out of a mentally debilitating relationship that had landed her in prison Emma moved as far away as she could get without a passport, leaving everything reminiscent of her past life behind.

But something always felt like it was missing. And finding a "normal" job wasn't exactly easy having prison on your resume.

Somehow she'd realized how good she was at tracking people down – maybe it was the hunger she felt in her gut, aching for to find the people that'd abandoned her when she was a baby. Maybe it was the urge to find the guy that'd tipped her off to cops for a crime she didn't commit. She never did find either one but she satiated the thirst with finding other losers who tried to skip bail.

She imagined it was just as gratifying, to find these people and bring them to justice. For once in her life she was on the right side of the law. And it felt really good.

So she took from criminal justice classes at the community college. And that's where she'd met Ruby – working on her degree before eventually going into the academy. Mary Margaret on the other hand was an education major. They met by total accident. Ruby and Emma studied in the student lounge and MM asked them for a pen.

She could have asked and left but she was so nosy Mary Margaret had to know what they were studying and pretty soon it started a debate about the correlation between education and criminal activity at a young age. She wouldn't leave Ruby and Emma alone until she'd proved her point and by that time they were more than ready for a drink.

That was over five years ago.

Emma watched her beautiful bridesmaids standing next to each other and she was so thankful in that moment for these women, her best friends in the entire world. They could bicker and make their little comments about the colors but she didn't know what she would do without them.

"You both look amazing." She weaved between them, observing the different styles the girls had chosen. "But we had a deal. I pick the color, you pick the style." She heard a low murmur of agreement. "But just remember, both the ceremony and the reception will be outside. And there will be a lot of dancing! So get something comfortable and something you can move in."

"Oh, yeah speaking of which, how was your weekend visiting the vineyard?" Ruby asked, absentmindedly fluffing the dress.

"It was really great getting to see it all again."

"And it wasn't weird right?"

"Wait, why would it be weird?" Mary Margret asked.

Emma sighed, shaking her head at Ruby. This was not something she wanted to keep going on about.

"Ah, at the last minute Walsh had a work thing and I asked Ruby to go. But then she couldn't make it either so she recruited one of her friends to go with me. She thought it might be awkward since we didn't know each other very well but we got on fine." She explicitly left out the specific details that the friend was actually a really hot musician that she probably shouldn't have been alone with.

"I told you Killian really is great." Emma could have knocked Ruby off her platform with the look she shot the brunette.

"Killian? Isn't he the singer of the band that is playing your wedding?" Mary Margaret pieced it together. "Why would you go on a trip with him Emma? You're getting married!"

"I know that!" Emma hissed. Some of the other patrons were starting to look in their direction. "Listen, it was unplanned. And it worked out because we were able to establish some of the mechanics for the band. That's one less thing to figure out come wedding day."

"I still don't think it's appropriate." Mary Margaret hummed under her breath.

"Maybe not, but it happened and besides he was a perfect gentleman." Emma could feel the judgement rolling off her pixy-haired friend in waves. But she didn't care, she was a grown woman capable of making perfectly fine decisions and yes maybe what her friend was saying was true for the most part but nothing happened and it was fine. She convinced herself it was all fine.

After a long pause Mary Margaret shook her head as if shaking herself out of whatever she was feeling and she smiled.

"So David is really excited about walking you down the aisle, he was so honored that you asked him Emma."

David Nolan, Mary Margaret's other half, was also one of Emma's oldest and dearest friends. She really didn't have many but how could she not love him when he was the self-proclaimed _true love_ of her best friend? They were one of the reasons Emma believed in love at all. Watching their love grow into something magical really gave her hope for her own future.

"Of course I had to ask him! He's been like a brother to me and he's the only man in my life I've ever really trusted. You know what I mean." She added after the woman gave her a look. She trusted Walsh, of course, but not like she trusted David. David had always felt like an older brother especially when Emma started dating a new guy. He'd even given Walsh a little "talking to" when they'd gotten engaged. Emma thought it was hilarious but Walsh had been a little shaken.

They spent the remainder of the appointment talking about the wedding plans and there was no mention of Killian or her trip to the vineyard but it was still on Emma's mind. And apparently on Ruby's mind too.

"Did you something happen between you and Killian?" She asked after Mary Margaret had left and the two were left to go to Emma's wedding dress fitting. It was Emma's turn on the little platform as she wore the A-line Tony Ward dress she'd picked out months ago when she'd first gotten engaged.

"Ruby, I thought we went over this already." Emma answered as the woman at Emma's feet pinned the train for hemming.

"I know, I know. I just thought – I don't know what I thought."

"Killian is really great. We had a lot of fun together. But that's all." Memories of the dance they shared at Granny's flashed in her mind.

"I just know how he can be sometimes. He's such a flirt and he's totally gorgeous."

"You seem to like him so much, why haven't you guys ever dated?" Emma ignored the small drop in her stomach at the thought.

"We've just been friends for too long. Plus he's not exactly good at relationships. I've seen how he is with women and sure I wouldn't kick him out of bed, but I'm not going down that road."

"What do you mean 'how he is with women'?" Emma tried not to sound too curious.

"He's a sweet guy with a good heart, I know that. But the guy just has serious commitment issues. And after what happened to him, I don't blame him."

"What happened?" Ruby met Emma's eyes and realized she must have gone too far and shook her head. "Oh come on, you don't throw out that line and not reel me in!"

"It's not my business to tell. Let's just say you two have a lot in common, he was hurt pretty bad when he was younger, a lot like you. Except less evolved now."

"He told me he left England because he had nothing left." Emma stating more matter-of-factly, absorbing everything Ruby had said. She absentmindedly smoothed out the dress, avoiding Ruby's gaze.

Emma Swan stood in her perfect wedding dress, planning her perfect wedding and all she could go was think of another man. This had to stop.

~!~

 **Mid July**

 **2 Months & 2 weeks until the wedding**

It had been two weeks since she'd seen or spoken to Killian Jones. Had she still thought about him here or there? Yes, but only in the sense that his band was playing at her wedding. She did _not_ think about how they spent a romantic weekend away together at her wedding destination – a small detail she'd still yet to disclose to her future husband.

She did not under any circumstance think about that weekend or about the way they walked together under the moonlight back to the hotel room. She didn't think about how he leaned in with every intention of kissing her and how for a fraction of a second that was the only thing she wanted in the world. She would not and could not allow herself to think about Killian Jones.

And she definitely was not thinking about him as she walked down a New York City sidewalk carrying two ice coffees early that Wednesday morning.

Emma had been trying to nail down a caterer for the reception and they'd narrowed it down to a restaurant or two independent catering companies. This was one particular part of planning where she actually needed Walsh's input. It'd already taken them days and several arguments to just agree on the appetizer selection for cocktail hour.

So she was on her way to Walsh's furniture store early that morning to get an idea of Walsh's schedule for the week so they could make their reservations for the catering selections.

When she got there he was just unlocking the front door for customers. "Morning darling, what a pleasant surprise." Walsh did look rather surprised to see her especially this early on a weekday. She hadn't seen him at all the past two days as he'd been working so late he'd been sleeping at the shop. She didn't mind much except this bit of planning really needed to get done as soon as possible so she thought she'd surprise him. "What brings you here, my love?" Walsh kissed her cheek as she handed him the coffee.

"I haven't seen you in days; can't a girl come visit her fiancé at work?" Emma joked, "And also ask you about the reception catering."

"Ah, so the truth comes out!" he laughed as he walked behind the counter. "I'm only joking, sweetheart. But I've got Tink on her way in so let me get her set up and then we can talk?"

Emma just nodded as he headed towards the back door. He'd just hired a new girl – Tinkerbelle – everyone called her. Emma didn't get it but whatever; she was new and finishing up her training.

It had been months since she'd been to the store, not since just after they'd gotten engaged in February. She strolled through the small shop, running her hand across the smooth surfaces. All the tables were decorated for summer with little knick knacks to make the space seem lived-in. Some of the tables even had vases full of flowers. She picked up a small monkey figurine when she heard a loud female voice coming from the back room.

A blond woman appeared wearing an emerald green dress and was walking towards her. "Hi there! I'm Annabelle, but everyone calls me Tink or Tinkerbelle." The woman, who Emma recognized as Australian, held out her hand.

"I'm Emma, nice to meet you _Tink_." She replied, shaking the dainty hand.

"Walsh talks so much about you!" The girl gushed as Emma watched Walsh walk in after her.

"Not all bad I hope." Emma joked.

"No, no of course not! He's so great though, such a great boss."

"Awe, that's sweet. Well I'm glad you're enjoying working for him."

"He tells me you guys are getting married soon, congratulations!"

"Yeah, in just over two months. We're still trying to hammer out all the details but we're getting there. That's actually why I'm here. We need to make reservations for some of the restaurants that are the potential caterers."

"Oh that sounds like fun!"

"Yeah trying telling Walsh that, it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to help me plan anything." She half yelled the last bit over in Walsh's direction, who stood behind the cash register. He just shook his head and Tink laughed. "Hey you know what; maybe we can make a thing out of it? Walsh said you just moved to the city, why don't you come out with us? I'll get some friends and we'll test one of these places out. That way it doesn't feel like such a chore."

"Oh yeah, I don't really know of lot of people here yet so that would be great!"

"You should invite that guy from the band – Ruby's friend. Introduce him to Tink." Walsh said as he wondered back over to the two of them.

"Killian?" Emma asked as her stomach dropped about 3 feet into her ankles.

"Yeah, if he's single these two might hit it off."

"I don't know about that, I mean who really wants to be set up on a blind date. This was supposed to be fun." She laughed nervously turning to Tink for backup.

"No, it won't be like that. But it might be nice. What do you think?" Walsh asked, also turning to the petite blond.

"You said he'd in a band?" She asked playfully, raising her eyebrows.

Walsh just smiled, knowing that meant it was fine with her as he walked away again. "Show her the video!" He called from his office.

Emma smiled nervously at Tink as she pulled out her phone. Ruby had taken a video the day they all went to see the Crow's Nest "audition" for the wedding. It was a nice close up of Killian as he sang the Dave Matthews Band cover of "Crash (into me)".

Emma studied Tink more than she watched the video. The woman's eyes glossed over as she was entranced with Killian and Emma felt a gut wrenching twist that this might possibly be the worst idea anyone has ever had.

The video ended and she put her phone away before looking back at the woman hoping that she'd find disdain and disgust on her face – maybe devilishly handsome musicians weren't her thing.

But Tink just grinned wide and before she knew it Walsh returned and they'd made plans for that weekend with the promise of Emma contacting Killian to make it happen. How the hell she was going to even bring herself to do that?

This could only go two ways – one, Killian and Tink hit it off and fall in love and live happily ever after or two, Emma makes some kind of ass of herself. Because whatever she may or may not admit to herself she knew this was a bad idea either way.

"You said what?"

Killian hovered over a pool table in the back of a crowded bar while Robin gawked at him from behind. He was about to take his shot after he'd told Robin he'd agreed to go on a double date with Emma, her fiancé, and a blind date.

"Damn," he muttered under his breath, taking the shot and missing every hole. "What was I supposed to say? Emma said she was cornered and besides it might not be so bad."

"Of course it's going to be _that bad._ And you could have said no! Lots of people say no!" Robin answered, now leaning over the table to take his own shot.

"I think you're over reacting, Mate. I think she will find me rather enjoyable company." He was being smug now. Of course it was going to be awful. The last thing he wanted to do was go on a date with Emma and her bloody fiancé, now it's with the added bonus of a setup. It was his own personal nightmare.

It'd been two weeks since he'd seen or spoken to Emma Swan and she occupied his thoughts completely in that time span. He had it bad.

"You haven't been on a single sodding date in over a month. And do you know why? Because you're in love with a betrothed woman." Robin sunk 3 of his 5 balls and backed off to take a swig of his beer. "I'm just saying that it's not the best idea you ever had."

"Well I had to do something…" Killian muttered nearly inaudibly.

"But why this?" Robin asked, studying Killian. "…You just want to see her again," he realized. "You haven't seen her since that blasted trip to the vineyard, she calls you out of nowhere and asks you on a double date and you're mental if you think any of this is a good idea."

Killian couldn't face Robin because he knew everything his best friend was saying was entirely true. And, worse, he'd been trying to find the best way to see her again without raising suspicion (because anything he did since that near-kiss would raise suspicion) so when she'd called and asked him out on this date he'd been powerless to resist the hope to see her again.

He'd have done anything to see her again before the wedding (the very same wedding his conscience and heart were in denial was even happening).

It was stupid and he hated himself for even thinking it but something in his gut couldn't let go of the idea that this wasn't entirely one sided. Emma was a careful woman but not so careful he didn't notice the way she looked at him sometimes. A small glimmer of something more than just admiration danced in her eyes when she thought he wasn't looking. Or when she leaned into him that night outside of the Vineyard.

He was most certain that she wanted to kiss him just as badly as he'd wanted to kiss her. She'd looked up at him and he could see the longing in her eyes. It was bloody torture and took everything in him to step back.

He knew, he bloody well knew it was complete rubbish and he should not be love with a woman betrothed; hell, he shouldn't and wouldn't've allowed himself to be in love at all if he could help it. But he didn't think he could help falling in love with her the moment he saw her in his club.

"Helloooo." Robin waved his hand in front of Killian. "You in there?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"It's your shot."

The game ended shortly thereafter – an astonishing defeat for Killian. They made their way back towards the front bar so Killian could buy another round, a victory beer for Robin.

He was handing off the bottle when he saw a familiar face walk into the bar.

"Oi!" Killian waved him down and over walked Walsh, Emma's fiancé. And he was not alone.

"Hey!" Walsh acknowledged Killian but Killian couldn't take his eyes off the beautiful redhead on his arm. "This is my associate, Zelena Mills. Zelena, this is Killian Jones." Walsh introduced as Killian held out his hand. The woman smiled and took his hand with unabashed elegance.

"Pleased to meet you, Zelena. This is my bandmate and dear friend, Robin Loxley."

Robin held out his hand for the redhead. Both men were unapologetically in awe of this beautiful woman, although the only thought running through Killian's mind was what the bloody hell this smarmy git was doing with her.

"So what brings you two out tonight?" Killian shamelessly asked.

"Zelena is a business associate; we were just in a meeting." He turned back towards her, "let's go get some drinks?" She nodded and they disappeared into the crowd towards the other end of the bar.

The distain on Killian's face was clearly visible as the two walked off.

"So that was Emma's fiancé. Bit dodgy, yeah?" Robin sipped on his beer.

"Something's not right. What was he doing with that woman? And where's Emma?" Killian searched the back of the bar, eyes landing on the laughing figures of Walsh and _Zelena_.

"He did say they are work associates. Don't make this a bigger deal than it is."

Robin's words were lost on Killian as he watched the two of them at their table.

"Bleedin' tosser, that bloke."

They stayed for another hour and every few minutes Killian would glance at Walsh's table, keeping a close eye on the two of them. They certainly didn't look like just associates. They were too close and Walsh kept talking into Zelena's ear, finding different ways to touch her – her arm, her shoulder, her hand.

Even if there was nothing going on between the two of them (which he highly doubted) it was no way to act as a betrothed man.

He knew how that sounded in his head. He'd been on the other end of it, in Zelena's shoes, with Emma. But something told him it wasn't the same. They weren't full of pent up tension like he was with Emma, begging to touch her in any way that was appropriate. No, these two just went for it, casually touching and laughing. If Killian didn't know any better he'd say they were together.

"I'm telling you Ruby, something was not right about these two. Have you ever heard him mention a redhead named Zelena?"

A few days later Killian had finally managed to get Ruby to come over and see him. His urgency on the phone must have alarmed her because she was usually so much more difficult to get through to, these days at least. He couldn't wait to talk to someone about his encounter with Walsh and the only logical person seemed like Ruby.

"No I've never heard of her. But that doesn't mean she's not just a colleague. He deals with a lot of different people in his line of work. He couldn't possibly tell us about all of them." She protested his suspicions but Killian could hear the apprehension in her tone. She wanted to believe the best for Emma and Walsh. He couldn't blame her, except that if Walsh was cheating on Emma she deserved to know she was about to marry a lying scumbag.

"Yes, but spending a late night out at the bar for over an hour in such a cozy fashion did not seem all too platonic."

"I don't know what to tell you Killian. I wasn't there. I can't just go off your jealous assumptions that he's cheating on her."

"Jealous! Pardon me for looking out for a friend."

"Oh come on, you think I don't see what's going on here. While, I love you and I love Emma, this has to stop. Emma is getting married to Walsh in a few months and you have to forget about whatever this is."

Killian sighed, running a hand through his hair. He couldn't even look at Ruby and he couldn't play dumb when she saw right through him.

"Ruby, I wouldn't purposefully sabotage Emma's relationship. I'm not lying about what I saw. And I'll have you know I have a date this weekend."

"Oh, dear." Ruby sighed from her seat on the couch across from him. "Well at least we'll all be on the date with you for support."

Killian looked up at her, eye brows raised.

"I'm bringing the new boyfriend. Very new, so be nice."

"Hey, I'm _always_ a gentleman."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Early August**

 **2 Months until the Wedding**

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this." Ruby stood in Emma's front doorway checking herself out in the hallway mirror. "And you dragged Killian into this, with some woman named _Tinkerbelle._ "

"In my defense, her name isn't actually Tinkerbelle, it's a nickname. And Killian said he didn't mind!"

"Well yeah that's what he says. But I told you, dude doesn't date much."

"It wasn't even my idea! It was Walsh's!" She glanced over her shoulder presumably in Walsh's direction and then leaned towards Ruby and whispered, "You know I would never in a million years suggest _this._ "

Ruby just raised her eyebrows giving Emma a look that said _ya think so?_

"No, not because of – whatever. I just don't want this to get weird." She leaned back and straightened her dress. "I mean she seems nice…maybe it will be fine."

"Oh it's going to be weird." Ruby mumbled.

Emma shrugged trying to be nonchalant. They both knew it was going to get awkward as hell. Because if she was honest with herself – which she wasn't doing much of lately – she'd admit that she couldn't stop thinking about Killian since Walsh decided this was a good idea.

But she wasn't being honest with herself. She had firmly moved into denial-ville.

"Besides, we will finally get to meet this new boyfriend of yours!" Emma added, genuinely excited.

"Victor said he would try his best to make it. His shift ended at 8 so if he got out of the hospital on time he'll be there by 9."

Emma glanced at the clock on the wall; it was already 8:30. "How a surgeon and a cop make it work, I'll never know."

Walsh had set up Ruby with a doctor friend of his, Victor Whale, a few weeks back and they two were enamored with each other. (At least someone Emma knew could be honest with their feelings.)

"Ready ladies?" Walsh appeared in the doorway looking dapper in a black suit with an open collared white shirt. They both nodded and shuffled out. The three of them would be meeting Tink and Killian at the restaurant.

Twenty minutes later they arrived to find Killian there. He'd been waiting at the bar with a drink already in hand. Emma's stomach about dropped into the subway line when she saw him. He was wearing a dark collared shirt with the top few buttons undone, his glorious chest of hair on full display.

"Hey Jones, you started without us!" Ruby said reaching out for him as he enveloped her in a great big hug. He then reached out and shook Walsh's hand.

"Swan, good to see you again, love!" He smiled, grasping her hand and kissing the back of it. She did _not_ shiver as she grinned like an idiot (a bad habit she was developing around him).

"It's good to see you too, Killian." She answered quietly.

"The hostess said we could sit as soon as the majority of our party got here so we can go up now."

Emma looked around at the restaurant – there were several tables on the ground level but it was mostly occupied with patrons of the bar and standing tables. The wooden staircase on the left side of the room led to a loft where the rest of the tables were. Killian motioned for the hostess and when she arrived they started making their way towards the stairs.

"I'll stay down here so Tink knows we're here." Walsh answered before Emma could even ask why he wasn't following. She simply nodded before going after Ruby and Killian.

They took their seats at a table overlooking the bar but Emma sat with her back to it, across from Killian and next to Ruby. Not long after the hostess had handed them the drink menu did the server turn up for their order. Killian ordered something on draft while Emma got a bottle of red wine for the table.

"This place is great Emma, good choice." Ruby commented as she looked around at restaurant décor. The dark hardwood floors mixed with the exposed brick and piping gave the place an industrial feel.

"I've always heard great things about this place. Hopefully if the food is good and we can agree to have them cater the wedding and be done with it." Emma replied.

After their drinks arrived Ruby asked Killian how the renovations at his club were going.

"We're making progress. It's an old building though; it's definitely had some surprises along the way. Just the other day a technician uncovered an electrical issue that may set everything back several weeks."

"When was it planned to be finished?" Emma asked, sipping her wine.

"We were shooting for mid-September but it's looking like closer to October now. It's definitely been a learning experience, that's for certain." He sighed before taking a long drink of her beer. "What about you Ruby? How's life as a hotshot detective?"

Ruby threw him a sarcastic smirk. She wasn't a hotshot anything, she'd only just graduated from the police academy a few months ago and she was just in the process of paying her dues – doing a lot of paperwork and taking any shift possible, which were usually the crappy ones that no one wanted.

"You know, I did just get a break in a case of a serial shiplifter at Macy's."

"Did you have to tackle anyone?" Killian leaned in genuinely curious.

"No, their security already took care of that."

"Oh I miss the days of tackling those assholes." Emma sighed in a mock dreamy voice. She really did miss the job but tackling, not so much.

"Yeah but you've got a full time job, Emma. Planning a wedding is a pretty stressful gig." Ruby replied.

"The truth is I'll be glad when it's over." She took another sip of her wine, finishing off the glass. "Speaking of which, where is my darling fiancé?" The question came out a little more bitter than she planned but instead of looking around for him she just poured herself some more wine. Ruby and Killian exchanged a glance before Emma watched Killian's eyes travel down to the floor of the restaurant.

Her eyes shifted to the object of Killian's gaze, Walsh and a blond woman. It took Emma a minute to realize that the woman was Tinkerbell. Instantly her stomach dropped. She took another long drink of her wine before standing up.

"I better go fetch him."

"Allow me, love." Killian squeezed her hand as he walked past her and down the stairs. She watched him with bated breath as he approached her fiancé and _his_ date.

"Hello there." Killian said as he strode up to Walsh and his blind date. She was a petite woman, even with heals on, wearing an olive colored frock with a golden jumper and her blond hair pulled into a high bun. She was definitely a beautiful woman.

When he spoke they immediately silenced themselves and she plastered on a happy grin as she turned to face him. "You must be Killian! I'm Annabelle, but everyone calls me Tink or Tinkerbelle – it's a weird nickname. I'll explain later." She held out her hand and he shook it with all the excitement of a fresh business deal.

"Pleased to meet you, love."

"Well I gotta say you two are such good sports about this whole thing. I know blind dates are always awkward." Walsh said loudly, making his presence known.

Killian averted his eyes and Tink just laughed politely.

"I'm going to go wash up, I'll be back." Tink said as she walked off towards a washroom.

Killian sipped his beer as he watched her walk away.

"So you know Tinkerbelle from work, Emma said?"

"Yeah just hired her a month or so ago." He sipped on his own dark liquid ale. "I'll tell you what she is a fine piece of ass."

Killian thought he heard wrong. "Excuse me?"

"Oh come on, you're going to hit that right?"

 _Who even talks like that anymore,_ Killian thought to himself, baffled at the man's behavior. He was, after all, a gentleman. "I will say she is quite stunning."

"Seriously, the handsome musician won't tap that ass." He asked, his tone dripping in sarcasm and disbelief. "I know I would."

Killian had been pretending to have stopped listening but at those words he rounded on Walsh. "You mean, if you were a single man of course." Killian prompted.

Walsh glanced up in Emma's direction before turning back to Killian as if silently debating what he was about to say. He must have deemed Killian trustworthy enough and answered. "I mean…, if she'd have me."

"So what you're saying is you're not exclusive with Emma?" Killian asked bluntly silently seething at Walsh's plain admission.

"You know how it is." He waved his hand in the air. "You're out of town a lot, traveling for work and what Emma doesn't know won't kill her." He threw back his remaining drink. He was entirely too nonchalant about this, like it was completely normal to confess your infidelities to a near stranger. He was practically bragging.

"I mean maybe on some level she knows. She's a smart girl. But we like things the way they are. She's content to stay at home while I go out of town for work and such. That'll come in handy for raising kids right?" Now the bastard was really bragging. Like he was the luckiest bastard to be marrying Emma Swan in the first place but to speak so plainly about his disloyalty and adultery was appalling.

Before Killian had a chance to respond Tink reappeared, back from the bathroom.

Walsh simply winked at him and took off towards the stairs.

Killian paused and took a deep breath. He turned to Tink and smiled.

"Shall we?" He asked holding out his elbow for her. She flashed a toothy grin and took it.

An hour later Killian watched Emma down almost an entire bottle of wine herself and was now on her second glass of rum and coke. He'd tried not to notice her every move – the way she was pretending to listen to Walsh tell an anecdote while she kept glancing at Tink. Or the way she'd pulled her hair over one shoulder, revealing her bare collar on the other. Or the way her red dress hugged her curves in all the right places.

He was trying to listen as Tinkerbelle told him about her nickname. " – parents used to own a travel agency called Neverland. I was their model on all the branding dressed up like Tinkerbelle when I was a kid. It was silly but the name stuck after the business went under."

"No worries lass; the lads sometimes like to call me Captain Hook. I recently purchased a club and named it The Jolly Roger of all things. The moniker is rather appropriate, I'd say."

"So you're Captain Hook and I'm Tinkerbelle? Doesn't that make us enemies?" She asked playfully.

"Well that depends, love." He leaned closer so only she could hear.

"On what?" She breathed, clearly smitten with him.

"On who Peter Pan is." He grinned pulling back and Tink erupted in laughter. Killian took a sip of his drink grinning until he saw Emma glancing at them, absolutely crestfallen. He swirled an ice cube around his mouth wishing he'd kept quiet.

Emma turned away, ushering the waiter over for another drink.

"Maybe you should take it easy Emma." He heard Ruby whisper to Emma.

"Say Ruby, when is that new boyfriend of yours coming? He'd a tad a late, is he not?" Killian interrupted, drawing attention away from Emma as she received her third rum and coke.

"He's not coming; he couldn't get out of work on time." She answered flatly.

"That's a shame, love. Would've been fantastic to meet him."

"Well maybe next time."

"HA!" Emma spat out.

"Can I get a water over here please?" Ruby called to a passing server, dropping all pretenses that Emma wasn't piss drunk.

"Something funny, _Swan?_ "

"You think there's going to a next time? Are you two hitting it off over there?" She took another sip of the drink.

"I think you've had enough, sweetheart." Walsh intervened, trying to take the glass from her hand.

"I dunno about you, Tink," He glanced at her briefly before turning back to face Emma head on, "but I am having a lovely time. What's to stop us from doing this again?" He said it more towards Emma out of spite.

Because suddenly he was angry. Angry at himself for falling for a woman engaged to be married. Angry because the woman in question was to marry the piece of shit that had only an hour ago confessed to being unfaithful to her with no shame. And she clearly had no idea because if she did, he trusted in her character enough to know, she would never stand for such a betrayal.

But right now, none of it mattered. As of this moment she was still getting married and the painfully large diamond ring on her finger and his arm around her shoulders was a hopeless reminder.

Emma was staring him down as Walsh was still trying to remove the glass from her grasp and as he finally did, it spilled all over the table and in Emma's lap – breaking her gaze from him.

She stood up immediately without a word and stalked off towards the bathroom with Ruby trailing after her.

"Well this is a disaster." Walsh huffed as he motioned for a serverto come over and clean up the mess.

"For the record, I was having a lovely time too." Tink said nudging Killian, softening his tense posture.

He smiled, reminded of her presence.

"Well maybe can do this again," he ventured a glance at Walsh who was pretending not to listen and looked back into Tink's eyes, " _just_ the two of us next time."

"I'd like that." She answered just as Emma reappeared in time to hear their exchange.

"I think it's time to go." Walsh stood and pulled a stiff Emma into his arms for comfort.

"I agree." Ruby muttered under her breath.

"Let me give you my number?" Tink asked and Killian pulled out his phone for her.

Ten minutes later they paid their bills and all got into their cabs. Emma didn't say a word to him as she boarded her yellow carriage. Walsh waved goodbye with a suggestive gesture and Ruby muttering under her breath, "Well this place isn't going to work," as she climbed into the cab.

Tink kissed him on the cheek as she got into her own cab. He said he'd call her even though he had no intention of doing so.

Killian decided to walk the several blocks to the tube as he sorted out their train wreck of an evening.

Walsh was a cock. He knew that from the moment they met but was reaffirmed tonight after their conversation. In fact the more he thought about it he could no longer reason with himself why the pair were getting married in the first place.

Killian had asked Emma _why him_ multiple times and she said it was because Walsh made her feel loved and safe. Neither things seemed to be true of him after this night.

It was all still very foggy to him as he rode the tube back to his loft.

~!~

"You look bloody awful, mate." Robin said as Killian threw his keys on the table and plopped onto the couch. "I take it tonight didn't go well?" He said dryly.

"You know I gave you that key for emergencies." He evaded the question as he ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

"Gina's cross with me again. Something about buying another toy bow for Roland – whatever, I had to get out of there." He took a sip of his beer Killian presumed was from his fridge. "I brought my own thank you very much." Robin held up the cardboard six-pack and Killian grabbed one.

"Because it _was_ bloody awful, to answer your question." Killian replied after a long draft of his ale.

Killian rehashed the entire evening to Robin, leaving no detail out, including the entire conversation with Walsh.

"I have to tell her. She deserves to know her fiancé, the man she is supposed to feel safe with, is running around on her."

"Mate, that's not the best idea."

"She needs to be able to make an informed decision if she'd going to marry the bloke."

"Yes, but if you are the one to tell her and she breaks it off, you'll always be the guy who broke up their relationship. That's a bad look, mate.

Or what if she doesn't believe you? Then you become the mental guy who tried to break up their relationship and now she hates you." Robin did have a point. "It can't be you."

"She's got to come to the decision on her own. She's got to choose me. Or, rather, choose _not_ to marry him."

"Precisely."

"Bloody hell. Can it any get worse?" Killian exasperatedly ran his hand through his hair again.

"We _are_ still playing their wedding." Robin reminded.

"Bloody hell."

"You look awful."

Emma wasn't surprised to hear the sound of her best friend's voice. Ruby probably slept over to deal with her because Walsh had to get up early for work that day.

She rolled over, away from the open window and it was a mistake. She suddenly remembered exactly why Ruby was there taking care of her and it was painful. She didn't even try to open her eyes, afraid of the consequence.

"I feel awful, thank you."

"We need to talk about last night."

At those words Emma risked peeking open just one eye. She could see Ruby in the wicker chair next to her bedside table with a steaming mug in her hands and a blanket wrapped around her crossed legs.

"We really don't." Emma wanted to forget last night ever happened.

"I made you your favorite."

"Fine." She very carefully pushed herself up, resting her back on the headboard. Ruby handed her the mug and she squinted at it. It was much too bright in her room. She took a sip and it turned out to be hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon. "Okay, I'm ready. Say it."

"What the hell happened last night?"

"So I had a little too much to drink." She waved her hand like she could just throw it away. The truth was her drinking habits were becoming kind of an issue these past couple of months. She'd drank more and actually gotten drunk more times in the last few months than she had the previous year combined.

"That's not what I'm talking about. Although, I'm sure you realize that's getting a little out of hand as well."

"Listen, I just – ," She didn't know the end of that sentence. She couldn't be honest. She couldn't say the thing she wanted to say.

That she was unbelievably jealous and hurt by the previous night's affaire. That she couldn't stop thinking about watching Killian whispering into that woman's ear and the two of them laughing and flirting all night. She couldn't talk about all that because it meant finally admitting to herself the truth. The real truth that she'd been stuffing so far down since the day she met Killian Jones.

Because it couldn't be true. She was engaged.

"Emma."

"Ruby. I can't."

Ruby smiled. A small, sad smile meant to reassure Emma because she seemed to understand the unspoken words between them.

"We have to pick up the bridesmaid's dresses at 1pm today with Mary Margaret. I'm going home to shower and I suggest you do the same. You smell like a pirate."


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Thank you all so much to the wonderful reviews! And a special thanks to the reviewer who pointed out that Tink is in fact a KIWI! It all makes sense now! Anyway, this chapter's a bit short and I hope to post chapter 7 faster. Again, thank you all for keeping up with my little story and I hope this chapter gives you some of the relief you've been hoping for! Enjoy lovelies!

 **Chapter 6 – Mid August**

 **1 Month and 3 Weeks until the wedding**

"Have you spoken to your friend, Killian, since we all went out?" Walsh called to Emma in the next room. She was setting up the coffee table for their dinner.

It had been a week since their date altogether and she'd done everything in her power not think about it. And she was failing.

"Uh, no. Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious how it went with him and Tinkerbelle." Walsh answered, bringing their food in from the kitchen. It was take out from one of the choice catering companies they may use for the reception, since they definitely weren't using the restaurant they went to for dinner. Emma had been so distracted all night she'd hardly even noticed her food.

"Haven't you seen her at the store?"

"Yeah but only on 2 shifts and we weren't able to talk about it. We've been so busy at work." He distributed their order accordingly. "So I have some news. You know the brand I've been dealing with lately, Emerald City? They've finally agreed to work with us exclusively on a 6 month contract."

"Oh, that's so exciting!" Emma gushed, truly happy for her fiancé. He'd been trying to land this guy for weeks.

"Well you're not going to like this part. I have to go to Boston to finalize everything."

"No that's still great news. I'm so proud of you!" She leaned over and kissed him lightly. "So when do you leave and do you know how long you'll be gone?"

"I'll leave on Tuesday and should be gone 4 to 5 days. " He started digging into his food, acting as though this wasn't the deal of a lifetime.

"Just think if this guy is happy with 6 months he could sign up to a 2 year contract!" Emma knew this guy was an up and coming designer and if Walsh could get him they'd finally have some solid ground to walk on.

Not that they were struggling, they were just paying for a wedding and starting a life together.

For the first time in months Emma let that thought sink in. Walsh had been busy planning their future, trying to secure real financial stability for them and she'd been way too preoccupied with a crush.

There she said it, in her mind, it was a crush. That's all it was. Just a silly little crush that would go away. Because she was getting married in less than 2 months and everything that Walsh was doing was for that. So they could not only have a wedding but have a marriage too, a life together.

Two days later Walsh left for his business trip and Emma slept alone. It was times like this she longed for a cat or a dog, just a companion really. But the empty space in the bed was all too familiar at this point.

She'd always been a light sleeper from years of always being on her guard at night, when she was most vulnerable. But when Walsh left it was even worse, she'd grown so used to sleeping next to him that when he left, although familiar, she was lucky to get any sleep at all.

That's when she heard a loud, urgent knocking at her front door she woke with a start. She waited, counting to 5 and when it happened again she reached for her gun and her mace.

Tip toeing through the kitchen she heard loud footsteps pacing the outside hallway as she neared the front door. Standing on the balls of her feet she peered through the peep hole. At the shock of seeing who was there she crept down as if he could see her through the peep hole.

She counted to 3 this time and waited but he didn't leave.

Finally she stood up and put her weapons of choice on the counter and began unlocking the front door. When she opened it he stood there, breathless and slightly damp. It must be raining outside because his navy blue v-neck t-shirt clung to his skin and his black chest hair shone through.

She sucked in a tight breath when she saw him because the sight just might kill her.

His black jeans hung low on his hips and his hair was in complete disarray, like he'd been running his hands through it.

Killian Jones stood at her threshold, beautiful and wet. Emma became very aware that she was only wearing an old Rangers T-shirt and her favorite men's boxers.

"Emma." He breathed; almost surprised that she actually opened the door.

"Killian," her voice was quiet and shaky as she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I just…" he ran his hand through his hair for probably the millionth time, "I just had to see you." His normally gorgeous blue eyes were dark and pained as he searched her gaze.

Emma stood frozen in the doorway, simply watching him. She knew she should tell him to leave. He shouldn't be there. She was engaged to be married. But he was way too beautiful and her self-control was at an all-time low.

"Killian…" She breathed, silently pleading with him to reason with her. She was doing everything in her mental capacity not to jump on him right in the damn hallway.

He nodded slightly as if knowing she was going to turn him away. Instead she took a half step back into her apartment. It was the smallest gesture but it was not missed.

Everything happened in slow motion and all at once. She took a deep breath as he moved towards her, his lips suddenly on hers.

She expected him to be fast and forward but he was gentle as he pressed his lips to hers, feeling the softness and sincerity. His hands cupped her face and she breathed him in like a drug.

An insatiable hunger flooded her veins and she wanted to devour him.

Their bodies moved with the intensity of the kiss; she'd managed to turn them around and close the door as he propelled them against it, pressing his hard body against hers. Everything she'd pent up inside for months, denying herself any feelings for this man, she poured it all into their kiss. Months of stomach knots and guilt. Months of wanting and denial.

She needed him and she couldn't get enough.

His strong hands lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her across the room. They landed at the kitchen table, scattering pages of wedding planning to the floor. She didn't care, the only thing Emma could think about was his hot mouth pressed against her neck and his hard body between her legs.

One hand slid up the side of her thigh and she rocked her hips forward begging for friction. They broke apart just long enough for Emma to peel his damp shirt off and toss it to the ground. Her fingers traced the bones of his collar, admiring his glorious chest of hair as she carded her other hand through it, grazing a nipple. She'd wanted to do that since the first time she saw him on stage with his top 3 buttons undone on his flannel shirt.

The sound of their panting breath filled the apartment as Killian reached for her, brushing the hair out of her face as he smiled, tenderly, as if wanting to savor every moment they shared. Kissing her again, she felt everything he felt. She wanted to absorb him, consume him.

Killian lightly fingered the hem of her shirt, hand crawling up her chest. Her sharp intake of breath urged him on, as he lightly squeezed her breasts. She let out a quiet moan as their bodies heaved against each other casting shadows in a room illuminated only by the city lights.

"Killian," Emma breathed as he nipped lightly at her skin, loving the sound of his name on her lips. "I need you." The words slipped out with reckless abandonment and Emma realized she needed him in more ways than one.

Everything inside her screamed and begged for him.

Faintly, somewhere in the distance she heard music but she pushed forward, her hands reaching for his belt. She was unbuttoning his jeans as the music grew louder and louder.

 _Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz_

Emma opened her eyes expecting to find him in front of her but she was no longer sitting on the kitchen table. She heard the music again – Eddie Money's Take Me Home Tonight and a buzzing sound. Entirely disoriented she sat up and found herself in her bed.

Emma quickly turned on the light and looked around. Her bed was still empty and she was alone.

She scrambled up and padded into the kitchen. All the lights were still off and from what she could tell the kitchen table was in the exact same disarray as before she went to bed.

The realization that it must have been a dream hit her hard in the gut – or rather, between her legs.

Upon reentering her bedroom she remembered the song and realized it had been her phone ringing. Take Me Home Tonight was only one person's ring tone. She quickly dove over the side of the bed to find it had fallen onto a pillow on the ground. She had one missed call and a voicemail.

She dialed one and waited.

The message was difficult to hear, it was almost drowned out in the background noise. He must have been in a room full of people – maybe a gig. Killian didn't say anything for at least 10 seconds and then she heard his voice. "Emma…" he whispered her name and though she could barely hear it, she couldn't miss the broken tone and crack in his voice. And then it ended.

That's it; all he said was her name.

She momentarily contemplated calling him back but what was she supposed to say? _Hi, I was just having a sex dream about us and that's why I missed your call._

Instead she laid her head back on the pillow and pressed the button to repeat the message. She listened to it over and over again until she fell asleep.

* * *

Somewhere in Brooklyn Killian Jones sat at a barstool with his phone in his hand.

Every night since the horrific double date with Emma Swan and her bloody idiot of a fiancé Killian had kept himself occupied. He worked at the bar, throwing himself into the renovations. He played with the band other nights. And most nights he drank.

Tonight he was drunk _and_ playing with the lads. Their fourth show that week. Mostly shitty gigs he'd booked short notice. So short notice barely anyone showed up. He didn't care; he played to take his mind off Emma Swan. But it wasn't working; so he continued to drink.

He played through the spinning room and empty floor.

It hardly mattered; nothing he did could make him forget her. Every blonde in a crowded room kept him from forgetting her.

That Tuesday night after a particularly bad set where Killian had forgotten half a song because he was utterly pissed, he saw her. Out of the corner of his eye, a blond in red sulked in the corner. His heart leapt into his throat and for a moment he was sober, until he realized it wasn't her.

This is what his life had succumb to, a racing heart at the slightest flash of golden tresses. He was a lost puppy in a storm, a long way from home.

It was after midnight sometime and he'd been sitting at the bar for far too long. The rest of the band had gone home, all of them angry with him for his shit performance that night. Killian stayed behind to make sure he was effectively shit-faced before he stumbled home.

When that became the reality, he was sitting alone at the bar just as they were calling out last call. And before he could even comprehend what he was doing he was pulling out his phone and scrolling through his contacts looking for one name. He pressed dial without thinking.

It rang and rang until it went to voicemail. He didn't know what he wanted to say. There was so much he couldn't bring himself to admit because even being as drunk as he was he was still a gentleman.

"Emma…" Her name fell from his lips like a plea for help and that's exactly what it was. Killian hung up before he broke and told her everything. Told her how madly in love with her he is. And that she shouldn't marry Walsh – not because he, himself was in love with her, but because Walsh was a blathering monkey, an idiot of a man who was too stupid to see he had the greatest woman in the world and didn't love her half as much as she deserved.

Or tell her how he hated himself for falling in love with a woman he could never have. Or for falling in love again at all.

So many confessions he'd never utter and she'd never hear.

What was wrong with him that he'd made the same mistake again? Falling for a woman he could never really have? Sure Mila was already married with a child at the time but what made this so much different? That Mila's ship had already sailed but because Emma wasn't married hers hadn't? Did he honestly think he still had a chance?

* * *

The next morning Emma woke with the sun rise. She'd hardly gotten any sleep after her very real feeling dream and the voicemail from Killian.

She lay in bed for a half hour, awake, before she decided to get up. But images of the dream kept cropping up in her morning routine. Killian's hands sliding up her legs as she pulled on her sweats. His hot breath on her neck as she poured her morning coffee. The feel of his hard body pressed against her as she moved to sit at the kitchen table.

She took one look at it and all she could think about was the heat between her thighs and the wanting she'd been left with after that night.

She thought about going back to bed, taking care of herself with the images so fresh in her mind. But she was already swimming in guilt. No, she needed to clear her head.

She wasn't normally a runner but every once in a while she took a morning jog to the park. That morning she plugged in her ear buds and turned off all thoughts – just listened to the music and the rhythm of her feet pounding against the pavement.

She let the sidewalk be her guide as she listened to music that would in no way remind her of Killian Jones – the hip hop station on her Pandora. It made for good jogging music as she ran with the beat.

She thought it was almost working until she decided to stop and take a breath near a bus stop. She bent down to tie her shoes and when she looked up she realized where she'd stopped.

She'd run all the way to Killian's club – The Jolly Roger. (It even had a sign up.)

She looked around the busy sidewalk – it was a Wednesday morning and the usual crowd of people meandered around her. She saw the business man racing to get to work on time; the casual dog walkers with 3-7 leaches wrapped around them; and the other joggers racing past her.

No sign of Killian Jones.

She didn't know what she was expecting, it was about 8am and she did get a call from him at around 3am. He was probably still asleep. Plus it's not like she ran there on purpose. Was she really trying to catch a glimpse of him? No.

So why did she feel suddenly disappointed?

She took a long cold shower when she got home, scrubbing her skin like she was trying to scrub away the memories of the last 6 hours.

She'd been in denial for so long about how she felt about Killian Jones and if anything her dream proved she couldn't deny it any longer. But what was she supposed to do?

She was engaged to Walsh. So maybe she'd developed a crush. She couldn't give up on the relationship she'd worked so hard for - for just a crush.

It still didn't sit right with her. Everything felt off. She couldn't shake everything she'd felt in that dream and she also couldn't stomach the guilt.

She spent the rest of the day in bed catching up her Netflix queue. Somehow it just didn't feel right planning her wedding with Walsh as she was so out of whack.

The next day she didn't feel any better. She couldn't sleep and nothing was properly distracting her. Walsh was still gone and nothing felt right. He checked in every couple of hours but he didn't call. She told him she wasn't feeling well. Plus she knew he was busy with whining and dining his client so it didn't matter.

She just couldn't stop thinking about Killian Jones. The way the corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled. His incredibly adorable accent and the way he called her love. Or how sinfully attractive he is with his blue eyes and dark features. Not to mention his insanely sexy voice, the way he sang always made her swoon.

The more she thought about him the more her chest ached.

She'd spent months denying any possibility of having feelings for the man and now everything she'd subsequently pushed down was flooding towards the surface of her conscious mind. She was absolutely losing her shit.

Emma couldn't take it anymore.

Her very realistic dream still haunted her and with the run the day before something inside of her snapped and she knew what she needed to do. She had to see Killian Jones.


	7. Chapter 7

It was Wednesday night and they were playing another shitty bar.

A bar that turned out a rather impressive crowd. Not that Killian was paying much attention. He was already nearly pissed by the time they were to go on. What was a lad to do while 3 shitty bands played before them?

He was not in high spirits, not surprisingly still hung over from the night before.

The band had not been too happy with Killian as of late. The night before he'd forgotten half the words to their fan favorite song and mumbled through the other half.

"Listen, mate, I know you're hurting right now, but we really need to get it together here. The last few shows have had minimal turn out and if we can't get this right no one will show up to Friday night's gig." Robin lectured Killian before they went on.

Friday night, the big one. Not that they hadn't played the Rabbit Hole before but it was a rather large showcase and every band playing was expected to bring in quite a large crowd. And he didn't expect anyone to come out to see them if Killian kept playing like shit.

"Alright, Alright." Killian set down the beer in his hand and took his guitar from Robin.

They played that night minimally horrendous. A right step up from the previous night, Killian thought. At least no one left during the show – it actually got busier. That was plus.

Afterwards, after the instruments were loaded and the rest of the band went home to their families or what have you, Killian sat alone at the bar again. Not for the first time a flash of golden waves passed by him and for a half a second his chest tightened and then fell almost instantly.

He was a pathetic mess and he knew it.

"You look like you could use a drink." A familiar voice chirped over his thoughts.

"Tinkerbelle." He smiled at the blond in her signature green frock with the kiwi accent.

"Killian Jones." She smiled and pointed to the bar.

"So you saw the show?" They nestled into the bar stools.

"I certainly did. You're quite a talented musician."

"I just know how to handle my instrument." He smirked as he gulped down his ale, silently wondering what she was doing there.

"I have a bit of a confession to make, Killian." She set her glass down. "I knew you'd be here. Emma once told me your band was The Crow's Nest and I wanted to see you again, since you never called." She was shorter than Killian, even sitting on a barstool, as she looked up at him through her long eyelashes.

"Forgive me, love, it's been a, em, busy week." Now he just sounded like arse. "Glad you could make it out tonight though." He tried to smirk again, but his heart wasn't in it.

"That's alright, it sort of figures anyway." She took a long sip of her drink while Killian waited for her to elaborate. "The good ones are always taken."

"Excuse me?" Killian turned to face her dead on. She set her drink down and stared.

"Oh come on," She said after a pause. "Who do you think you're kidding? You're madly in love with Emma Swan and she might possibly be the only person who doesn't know it."

Killian didn't know what to say. She was right. But did everyone really know it? He thought of Ruby and Robin and Will probably. He turned away from Tinkerbelle and flagged the bartender down and ordered a glass of rum.

"I'm sorry Killian but am I wrong?" She ordered another drink as well.

"I suppose not." He finally answered. "I guess I didn't realize everyone knew."

"Well not everyone." The bartender set their drinks down and she picked up her whiskey sour and motioned to the bartender, "I'm sure that guy doesn't know." She flashed a small smile at him.

He had to chuckle at that. "Oy, I'm bloody pathetic. I know it, you know it, and he probably _does_ know it." He picked up his rum and gestured to the bartender, laughing again.

"So, tell me then, what the hell was that last weekend?" She was referring to their date.

"I dunno what I was thinking, love."

"Oh it wasn't that bad was it? We had fun." She nudged him a little, trying to keep him smiling.

When he thought about it, she was right. They did have fun together that night. But he'd been so bloody hung up on Emma he didn't notice much else.

"You're really great you know that?" He smiled at her, really smiled for the first time in days, maybe even weeks.

"Too bad it would never work out between us," she teased.

He smiled again to himself and was thankful that this beautiful woman actually didn't hate him for the other night.

"So we've got this show on Friday night. At the Rabbit hole. If you thought tonight was a good show, you won't want to miss this." Killian was on out on a limb here, asking her to come to his show. He didn't want it to look like anything more than a simple invitation.

"I think I can make that work."

~!~

Several sober nights later, Killian found himself at the Rabbit hole.

He'd be crazy not to admit that every inch of the place didn't remind him of the night he'd first spent with Emma Swan. He remembered the anticipation he'd felt even then at the thought of Emma watching him.

Her memory from that night plagued him at every turn, not much different than any other room, but somehow it felt different. He could almost feel her presence. And he wasn't sure it if fueled him or vexed him.

Whatever it was that he felt he soon found that it fueled him, powering his performance with urgency and aggression. He played through every emotion he'd kept bottled up and poured them into every cord progression and lyric he sang.

The crowd ate it up, they cheered and sang and moved with the music. He watched the swaying bodies of the mass before him and saw flashes of faces. He thought momentarily he'd seen Emma, but just as he'd grown accustomed to always believing he'd seen her, he brushed it off.

When he saw Tinkerbelle's face he was knew he wasn't mistaking it.

After the show he'd told her just to meet him at the lounge. It was a Rabbit Hole tradition, to stay and drink for free in the lounge with friends and families or whomever.

A part of him wanted to stay on the floor because for some reason he couldn't shake the feeling that he really _did_ see Emma there during the set.

Emma had put on her favorite skin tight red dress, the one she usually saved for the blind date fake out for perps she was after.

She even curled her hair and did her make-up with the best damn liquid wings she'd ever seen.

Earlier that night rather than raise suspicion and ask Ruby, Emma had stalked Killian's band's Facebook page for upcoming events. She'd found that they were playing that night at The Rabbit Hole at 10pm. It struck a nerve with her, as it was the first place she'd ever seen Killian perform, making her even more anxious than she already was.

She checked her phone and mentally calculated how long it would take her to get there.

Everything had been a blur; she gotten ready in a blur and made all these decisions faster than her brain could really process what she was doing.

And before she knew it she was hailing a cab and stepping out of it in a matter of minutes. Her heart hammered in her chest and her stomach felt like a jungle bounce at an eight year old's birthday party.

Emma didn't know what she planned to say or do but she had to see him. She'd blocked out all rational thought at this point as she stood in line at the door. It was after 10pm so the band had probably already started playing.

After paying and putting on the wrist band she walked into the very crowded bar, this time with no VIP hook up she made her way into the general admission area. It was packed and loud but her eyes found him at the mic with his back to the crowd.

The band looked like they'd already finished a few songs and were now discussing the next one.

Then the sound of the drums kicked in and she watched Will Scarlet thumping along and soon she heard the bass and the rhythm and then she heard Killian as he spun around. Their music filled the room, seeping into every corner and crevasse as they played, flowing through the crowd like a river.

Not for the first time Emma was swept away by Killian's voice.

She watched the entire set drifting through it on a cloud, letting go of the aching in her chest just for the moments of joy it brought her.

When it was over she floated over to bar, every ache and pull of anxiety flooded through her again at the realization she now had to speak to him. And she still hadn't figured out what she was even doing there.

For days she couldn't shake the stirring feelings she'd had after that dream of the two of them together. Those feelings blinded her and pushed her to go there that night but the sinking reality of having to explain what she was actually doing there was beginning to weigh on her.

She decided the best way to work through it was to drink and wait. What was the rush anyway?

Half way through her third rum and coke she'd caught a glimpse of the band across the room loading their instruments in the back alley. Robin was talking animatedly to Will and he was nodding along while Smee trailed behind the two carrying two large amps. And then she saw him.

Carrying his guitar case in one hand and wiping his swept soaked hair out of his face with the other hand. The image of his wet hair conjured of memories and her gut stirred. Several drinks deep she no longer felt a heavy concoction of guilt and anxiety. Now she felt excited and weightless.

He glanced in her direction and her heart hammered in her chest, knowing he must have seen her.

Emma set her drink on the bar and checked her lipstick, anticipating that he'd be at the bar any minute for their drinks to bring back to the lounge.

Fifteen minutes later Killian still hadn't shown up to the bar. So, fueled by another rum and coke and lowered inhibitions Emma slithered through the dwindled crowd and made her way towards the back lounge.

Just as she came within 6 feet of the doorway she saw a petite blond woman also edging her way towards the door. Emma paid no mind until the woman happened to glance around the room.

Emma stopped dead in her tracks as she recognized the beautiful Tinkerbelle complete with her signature green dress and high bun. ( _She really took that nick-name seriously._ ) The woman Emma had introduced to Killian stood at the entrance and Emma watched as Killian Jones himself emerged from the room.

He greeted her by kissing her cheek and ushering her into the lounge. Emma was stunned as she watched the couple go off into the room together.

It wasn't until someone bumped into her a few minutes later that she was brought back to reality. And of course it was Will Scarlet, the band's drummer.

"Oy! Oh, it's you!" the leather clad brit said as he knocked into her by accident. "Ya want to come back and say 'ello to the lads?" He asked gesturing to the door of the lounge.

Emma was mortified. As she grasped what he was saying she quickly shook her head. "No no, that's okay. Great set tonight! But I have to get going." She began to back away as Will started towards the bar when a thought struck her. "Hey Will! Can you do me a favor and not mention this to Killian?" She didn't want any questions later. He simply nodded his head, slightly confused but agreeable.

She smiled meekly to herself as she walked away.

She felt absolutely humiliated.

Whatever she came there to do was obliterated with the soft kiss of a cheek on another woman.

Suddenly the entire night's events crashed around her and the haze of whatever had guided her there that night had lifted.

When she'd seen Killian kiss Tinkerbelle's cheek and welcome her with open arms all the blind, giddy, excitement she'd felt getting ready to go there that night rushed out of her like ocean currents pulling out the tide.

What had she expected? All of sudden she felt completely wrong. She had to get out of there as soon as possible.

What had she expected? She didn't even know what she was going to say when she saw him.

 _He's not exactly good at relationships. I've seen how he is with women and sure I wouldn't kick him out of bed, but I'm not going down that road._ The memory of Ruby's voice rang in her ears as she hailed a cab to get as far away from The Rabbit Hole as soon as possible.

Maybe whatever she'd felt for Killian wasn't even real. Ruby implied he was a ladies man but not a relationship guy. So maybe that's what vibe she'd picked up on from him.

Besides, w _hat had she expected?_ She asked herself for the millionth time. Emma was getting married in a month's time and even _if_ Killian _had_ felt anything for her he was doing what a gentleman would do and that's move on. Something she needed to do.

That night she'd made a choice. A choice to go see him, to follow her heart and she got screwed. Again.

Well now she needed to make another choice.

Get her shit together and move on because it was no use getting hung up on a silly crush.

Walsh loved her. He asked her to marry him. And he was safe. He was a sure thing.

She decided right then and there, in her kitchen over a mug of hot chocolate, that Walsh was her future now. For better or for worse.

~!~

"To the Rabbit Hole!"

"And to free drinks!"

Killian and Tinkerbelle cheers their shot glasses and threw them back as they sat in the back lounge of the Rabbit Hole after The Crow's Nest performance.

"You guys were really great tonight. Much better than the last night." Tinkerbelle offered. "Something different about tonight?"

 _It's like the woman could see into his head_. "Maybe it was because a certain someone was here tonight?" He wagged his eyebrows, smirking and moving into her personal space. _What was he doing?_

"Eh, no. I don't think so." She put her hand on his chest and gently pushed him away. "I know what you're doing."

"And what's that, love?" _Flirting with a beautiful woman to take his mind off his hopeless love for Emma Swan?_

"You can't fuck the pain away."

"Who says I can't?"

"Killian, you're drunk. And I'm not the one you want."

"I can't have the one I want." He leaned back into the couch, dropping all acts of flirtation and sinking into a sullen state of depression.

"You have to stop this. You'll never get over this if you don't do something about it. How do you expect to play at this woman's wedding in a month's time? Will you be drunk then too?"

"Yes. Yes, if she's going to marry that adulterating bastard, I will be drunk then too." He didn't mean to say it but the words seemed to slip away from him and somehow he didn't care. He felt like bloody hypocrite saying it all out loud but the guilt he'd once felt for his own misdoings as a youth fueled his rage.

Emma deserved so much better. Therefore he no longer cared. He didn't have anything to lose in this situation anyway.

"Excuse me? He's cheating on Emma? Since when?"

"I don't know if he's exactly cheating on her. But he certainly alluded to being unfaithful in the past."

"Why haven't you said anything?"

"To her?" Tink nodded. "Robin advised that if I were to inform of her of the miscreant's adulterous behavior then she would never see me as more than the man who broke up her wedding. That she has to be the one to choose whether she wants him or not."

"But if she doesn't know how can she properly choose?"

"That's what I said." Killian ran his hand through his hair, completely at a loss.

"And how can she know to choose you if you don't tell her how you feel?"

Killian looked up at Tinkerbelle.

"I supposed I just assumed that she would never want me because she's engaged."

"Killian you're daft. I've seen the way that woman looks at you. It's not so different than the way you look at her." She nudged his slumped shoulders in effort to cheer him up.

"Perhaps it's true," Killian didn't want to get ahead of himself with hope, "there is still the matter of the lying, cheating, scumbag of a fiancé."

"Well she's got to know the truth. There's no question.

It can't be me. Emma doesn't trust me. She wouldn't believe it. It has be someone she trusts. What about Ruby? Do you think you could get Ruby to tell her?"

"I don't think that'd work either. I know how Ruby is, and yes Emma trusts her but I don't think Ruby can be easily swayed. She'd have to see it to believe it."

"So we'll show her." Tinkerbelle's eyes lit up. "Or we could just show Emma. She'll have to trust herself."

"This is all very sneaky. Doesn't it feel a bit contrived?"

"Killian, Emma needs to know the truth, you said it yourself. This is her life we're talking about."

"Why are you so willing to help me?" Killian watched as Tink's eyes softened and she grasped his hands.

"You just seem like a lost puppy or something. Is there terrible to say? You're my friend Killian Jones." She smiled warmly and for the first time in a very long time Killian truly felt in the presence of a great friend.

"And maybe because we found our Peter Pan and he's actually a bloody demon."

"I prefer flying monkey."

Tinkerbelle grinned and held up her glass, "to happy endings?"

Killian was hesitant momentarily but he grabbed his glass as well and clinked it to hers. "To happy endings."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – Early September**

 **One month until the wedding**

"I think I've got what we need!"

The familiar kiwi accent rang across the empty space of The Jolly Roger. Killian, whom had been crouched behind the bar, practically sprang up to find Tinkerbelle striding across the room waving her phone in the air.

The last time they'd really spoken, about a week ago, she had agreed to formulate a plan to reveal Walsh's true nature to Emma. Killian left all scheming and sneaking up to her, he hated the idea of plotting something.

His bar was finally finished with all its construction and painting and all the major facets of the renovations. All that was left was decorating and stocking. He'd been debating bringing in a professional or doing it himself so he'd been spending a lot more time than usual there trying to figure it all out. Almost every day for the past week he'd been there, accepting deliveries of glasses, tables, chairs, and all sorts of other things. The check list grew longer rather than shorter but it was a welcome distraction.

Killian watched the blond bun-headed woman bounce on the balls of her feet in excitement. He tried to contain his laughter at the sight.

"Go on then. What have you got? A contrived effort to fully expose Walsh in all his slimy git glory? Let's have it." Killian played along.

"You know you were on board with this plan a week ago." Tinkerbelle jabbed as she pulled an over-turned stool up and plopped down on it.

"Well I've had time to think and it still feels too much like a scheme. It's juvenile."

"Oi, I need a drink." Tink looked around at the empty shelves behind the bar. "When are you getting this place stocked?"

"Just a few more weeks, love." Just a few more weeks and the bar would be up and running. He wanted to wait until after the wedding because he didn't know how busy he'd be once it opened. "Speaking of which, I need to start hiring a staff." He pulled out his phone and added that to his To Do List.

"Listen, Killian, I really think you should give it a go with Emma. You'll just absolutely regret it if you don't."

Killian looked up at his new friend; she'd really been an unexpected light in these dark days.

"Besides, just hear what I've got. It might not be that bad. You won't even have to do all that much." Tink silently pleaded with him.

"Alright fine, what have you got?"

"Yes! Okay so remember how we said show Emma and she'll trust herself? Well I've hacked into Walsh's email –,"

"Tink!"

" – and he's meeting Zelena tomorrow night! So I figure all you have to do is get Emma there to see him and voila! She's sees what a lying scum he is and dumps him on the spot!"

"I don't think it's that simple, love."

"Well, as I have seen due to my expert hacking skills, the pair has been seeing a lot of each other for months. But there's more to it. She is in fact a business associate, which seems to have been their cover for all the meetings and getaways."

"Are you absolutely sure Tink? Because if it's not true then Emma's heart will be broken for no reason."

"Not for no reason! Killian you are in love with her! She deserves to know that."

"But not at the expense of her marriage for no other reason. _She deserves to be happy_." Killian hated all the games. For so long he never expected, never allowed himself to truly fall for someone and somehow Emma Swan had changed all that. Now all he wanted to do was tell her how much she meant to him, but if it came at the cost of Emma's happiness with Walsh for no other reason than his selfishness, he was unwilling to do that to her. If Walsh wasn't cheating on her and Emma had a real chance at being happy with him then Killian wasn't going to sabotage that (even if he did think Emma deserved better regardless).

"But what if this is all she needs? What if she's teetering on the edge of backing out and you telling her you're madly in love with her pushes her over the edge and she dumps the bloke and falls for you!" Tink waved her hands in the air and it was all very dramatic.

"Yes and what if Walsh spouts wings and becomes a flying monkey? Those are all very plausible situations aren't they?" Tink just rolled her eyes.

"Killian, you said it yourself, the guy is scum. And I saw the way Emma looked at you when we were together on that date. She was insanely jealous! If that's any indication, you are not alone in how you feel." She grasped Killian's hands, pleading with him as he hung his head.

"Tink. I just don't know if springing this on her is the best way to do this."

"Maybe not, but what is the best way to tell someone their fiancé is cheating on them? This is the best shot we've got right now. Just meet her at the same place Walsh and Zelena are meeting tomorrow night and let that do the talking. If it feels right, tell her how you feel. You've got nothing to lose."

After a moment of pause Killian realized there was truth to Tinkerbelle's pleads. He had very little to lose. It was Emma who had so much to lose – he only hoped there was more to gain for both of them if the scenario played out to their expectations.

"Fine." Killian finally relented as Tink squealed with joy, "as long as you're absolutely certain he is cheating on her." Tinkerbelle simply nodding her head as she jumped for joy.

For the first time in the two months since Emma Swan met Killian Jones she was not thinking about him. Really.

The wedding was a month away and she'd decided once and for all to focus all of her attention on the wedding. _To her fiancé_. Not the man that would be singing at her wedding.

She'd wasted entirely too much time on a crush. A simple crush, that's all it was. And now she was moving on. He'd moved on and so could she.

"Hand me the hole-punch, please." Mary Margaret's voice rang in her ear, shaking her from her thoughts – _not about Killian Jones._

"Here you go." She handed the tool to her friend and took a deep breath.

Mary Margaret and Ruby had both insisted on coming over to help Emma assemble the wedding favors and she was really thankful to be around her best friends right now.

"These old fashioned key bottle-openers are adorable Emma. Where did you find them?" Ruby asked, sitting down at the table with the wine bottle and refilling all of their glasses.

Emma traced the copper-colored key and sighed, "I think it was eBay. Either that or some wedding site I don't remember." She took a sip of her graciously filled wine glass.

"I can't believe the wedding is just a month away. Where did the summer go?" Mary Margaret asked absentmindedly as she punched a hole in a little tag cutout that read:

Emma & Walsh

Together Forever

10-10-15

"Do you think people will think it's weird that we're using his last name on these?" Emma asked, laughing as she picked up one of the tags she'd printed out.

"Anyone who knows him knows he goes by his last name." Ruby answered, giggling as she sipped her wine.

The three of them worked on assembling the favors, drinking and listening to music. Emma played them a playlist she'd made of all the songs she'd requested The Crow's Nest play at the wedding.

"Have you spoken to Killian or Tinkerbelle since that awful date?" Ruby asked some time later.

"Wait, what date?" Mary Margaret asked, eyes darting between her two friends.

"Emma thought it was a good idea to set Killian up on a blind date with this girl _Tinkerbelle_ (really that's what she goes by). Remember I asked you if you and David wanted to come, like three weeks ago?"

"Oh yeah." Mary Margaret recalled, nodding her head.

"Anyway, it was a disaster and Emma got completely shitfaced and as far I know Tinkerbelle went home with Killian. But I haven't spoken to him since. He's been so busy with the band and the bar."

"No, I haven't heard from either one of them." Emma lied. She couldn't bring herself to admit she'd gone to see him. It'd raise way too many questions she wasn't prepared to answer.

"They do make a cute couple, _don't they Emma?_ " Ruby nudged Emma's arm and nearly knocked over a wine glass. They may have a finished a bottle or two already.

"Sure they do." Emma grabbed the glass before it fell. "But I thought you said he doesn't really do couples or relationships?" The images of Killian and Tinkerbelle flashed in her memory. She winced at the thought but quickly brushed it off.

"I mean, not that I've ever seen. But it's not so much that he doesn't do relationships it's more like he doesn't let himself fall in love." Ruby sipped her wine but kept going. "He's just a lost soul really. The guy had his heart practically ripped out and just never recovered," Ruby rambled on. "Even when he dates a girl he doesn't seem like he really likes her. He just won't put himself out there you know?"

Mary Margaret nodded along sympathetically but Emma starred down at her glass, processing Ruby's words. _So he wasn't a womanizer or just a ladies man – he was broken_.

"I wonder if she'll come to the wedding." Ruby chimed.

"Who?" Emma asked, shaken from her revelation.

"Tinkerbelle!" Ruby rolled her eyes.

"Why would she come to the wedding? She wasn't invited!" Emma spat out a little too hostile.

"As his date?"

"I don't think the wedding band gets to bring dates to the wedding. They'll be working." Mary Margaret piped up into the conversation.

"Oh whatever." Ruby started to pour another glass of wine.

"I think you've had enough." Mary Margaret snatched the bottle out of her friends hand in an all too familiar motherly fashion. Ruby just pouted.

Emma shrugged off Ruby's comments about Killian and Tinkerbelle. She didn't want to think about him and especially him with Tinkerbelle anymore.

The three went back to assembling the favors in relative silence aside from the music playing the background.

"Hey Mary Margaret, can I ask you something?" Emma asked as the sound of John Mayer's Gravity filled the room. "How did you know that David was 'the one'?"

Mary Margaret paused and looked up from the key she was holding. She watched Emma, searching her old friend's gaze for the root of the question. Her expression grew very serious as she thought of the best answer.

"He's my best friend in the entire world. He's the person that makes me feel whole but doesn't make me feel like less of a person. He takes care of me but allows me to take care of myself. We can be the most ourselves when we're together. And I love him unconditionally." She stared off dreamily as she continued, "When we first met we didn't like each other at all. But we later realized it was because we would challenge each other – not in a competition but in a way that always made us want to prove ourselves. Almost like we were proving we were worthy for each other."

"Not to mention he is totally gorgeous!" Ruby chimed in giggling and breaking the serious tone the mood had taken on.

"Yes that too! And charming!" Mary Margaret laughed.

"You guys are drunk." Emma added as she too was broken from the spell of her friends words.

"We're just enjoying ourselves. Speaking of which, how's it going with that new boyfriend of your Ruby?" Mary Margaret looked pointedly at her friend.

"You know I really like him." Ruby was desperately trying to contain her smile. "I think he might even be my _plus one_!" Ruby teased. "You know like, _the one – plus one._ Get it?"

"Yes we get your corny jokes! But we're so happy it's going so well!" Emma laughed.

"Well look at that, maybe we'll all just end up with the men of our dreams." Mary Margaret gushed and Emma's face reddened as Ruby waved off the comment. They were not as sentimental as their friend but Emma suspected Ruby was much happier than she let on. Mary Margaret was always the hopeless romantic of the group. Ruby would always be the reckless lover and Emma didn't know yet if she really was the settling kind.

Later on, after Mary Margaret had left for the night, Ruby stayed to help Emma clean up.

"Sooo… Em, anything you want to tell me?" Ruby asked, sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of water watching Emma carry the empty wine bottles to the sink.

"What do you mean?" Emma deflected.

"What was with your question early? About knowing if David was "the one" or whatever. Is somebody getting cold feet?"

Emma put down the wine bottle she was rinsing in the sink and slowly turned to face Ruby, giving her a very pointed look.

"It's perfectly normal to get cold feet you know." Ruby shrugged.

"I was just curious." Emma finally answered. "I'm getting married; I can't ask one of our dearest friends about her marriage?"

"You asked how MM knew David was the one. Not about their wedding or their marriage." Ruby continued prying.

"What is with the third degree here?" Emma asked feeling interrogated. She had asked her friend a perfectly reasonable question considering she's about to make the biggest commitment of her life. It didn't have anything to do with… _anything else._

Plus, she'd already made up her mind. Sure it'd only been about a week since the whole dream-bar-Tinkerbelle situation but she's was moving forward. She had to get on with her life.

"I just wanted to make sure it didn't have anything to do with a certain ruggedly handsome musician we know –."

"Ruby!"

"I didn't want to say it, but I had to ask!" Ruby held up her hands in defeat.

"I'll admit – that date was not the best idea I ever had. But it was eye opening." She left her answer to interpretation.

"So that's it?"

"Whatever it was, it's over now." Emma wasn't about to admit anything out loud but Ruby understood and just nodded her head.

"I just want you to be happy. You know that right? With whatever decisions you make. I'll always support you."

Emma felt like Ruby was giving her some kind of blessing. She just nodded her head.

None of that mattered anyway.

She was getting married to Walsh.

The next morning she'd woken up late and Ruby had already left and Walsh was gone for the day. For the last week she'd been taking a sleeping aid to avoid any unwanted dreams but as a result she'd been waking up later than desired.

That Saturday morning she wanted to get a head start on planning the seating chart for the reception. She'd even made up a little diagram of the room complete with little red and blue pegs to represent her and Walsh's guests.

Although it wasn't hard to differentiate – Emma only had a handful of red pegs while Walsh's blue dominated the board. She'd received the last of the RSVP's last week and was finally getting around to deciding where to sit everyone. All of her guests could fit at one table. David and Mary Margaret, Ruby and Victor, Granny (Ruby's grandmother who insisted everyone call her Granny), MM's drunken Uncle LeRoy (why did she invite him again?), and August (a very old friend she was surprised the invitation even found him).

Seven people. Seven people in which Emma could fit all at one table with room to spare. She laid the extra pin she'd labeled "Lilly" aside – another old friend she'd surprised herself by inviting. But the RSVP never turned up. Lilly was always a tough one to keep in touch with. They'd known each other for a long time and not always on the best of terms. But that was a memory for another time. Seven wasn't such a bad number.

Walsh on the other hand had both of his parents, his two older brothers, their wives and five kids between the two of them. His two uncles on his mother's side with their two wives and only one child between them; then his three aunts on his father's side, with one husband, one daughter, and one lesbian lover.

Then there was his best friend from college to be his best man with his wife and three kids.

Twenty-seven people on Walsh's side – and those were just ones that had RSVP'd yes. The list had gone on.

Most her life Emma had only known a revolving door of people who called themselves her family but only for the time being. Now Emma was welcoming at the very least twenty-seven new people into her life to become her family. The thought should have overjoyed her, instead she felt a bit nauseous.

She'd always been alone. Until Mary Margaret, Ruby and David. They'd been the only real family she'd even known.

For a moment her chest tightened and her throat swelled. The mere sight of anything wedding related was making her sick. She needed to get away from it, physically and mentally.

Stepping out into the warm afternoon air breathed life back into her. Her city block was always bustling with people no matter the time of day. Right now she was more thankful than ever for the distraction. Of course it was only temporary.

Twenty minutes into her walk around the block her phone buzzed, instantaneously bringing her back to reality. She wasn't going to answer but she'd been waiting on a call back from the caterer. She didn't even bother checking the caller ID before she answered.

"Hello?"

"Hello, love."

"Killian, what a surprise." Her voice only raised slightly one higher octave when she answered, hearing his voice.

"Swan, I do hope you're well." His voice was like butter – smooth and delicious and something she shouldn't have. _Focus Emma._

"I'm alright. What can I do for you?" _Good, right to the point Emma._

"Fancy joining me for a drink later?" Slowing her pace, she paid no mind as passersby knocked into her as she was rendered silent by the request, her heart pounded too loudly to process. "Swan?"

"A drink?" She staggered out the stupid response.

"Nothing to worry about, love, just hoping to see you before the big day. Maybe take some of the edge off. Walsh is welcome to come as well."

"Will Tinkerbelle be there?" The words were out of her mouth faster than she could kick herself.

"Tinkerbelle? Why would Tinkerbelle be there?" He sounded truly dumbfounded but she couldn't stop herself.

"Aren't you two – together?" She knew it was stupid and none of her business but she had to ask. Even though Ruby's words of him being broken and unavailable still echoed in her ear she had to know the truth.

"I dunno what gave you that idea but no, Swan, we are not together. She's just a friend." Something inside her softened and she relaxed. "So what do you say, how about that drink?"

"Alright Jones, you're on. Name the place."

"Oz, 8pm?"

"See you there. Oh and it'll just be me. Walsh is on a business meeting tonight." She hung up the phone and dumbfounded by what she'd just done. Of course she shouldn't be going for drinks with Killian Jones. But she almost couldn't stop herself, she didn't even think about it, especially after hearing that him and Tinkerbelle weren't together.

She shouldn't feel relieved or excited but she couldn't stop the array of crawly things manifesting in her abdomen. If anything she should feel utterly turned off at the proven point of Ruby. That once again Killian Jones couldn't keep a woman even if he wasn't a womanizer he was still broken and unavailable to any woman. Not that it should matter, but it never felt like that when the two of them were together. It always felt right somehow.

But it didn't matter. Shaking her head as she walked back to the apartment she tried to shake herself free of her conflicting emotions. This was not a do-over after her horrendous attempt a week ago, this was not a date, this was nothing. Just two friends getting together for a drink.


	9. Chapter 9

A/n: Thank you all so much for the reviews! Seriously every time I get a review I am even more motivated to write and update. I love you guys so much and I appreciate you! Also, just an fyi, the story will be winding down here soon. Only a few more chapters to go. Brace yourselves.

 **Chapter 9**

 **8 Hours Later**

Killian waited at 8 o'clock on the dot for Emma to arrive at a bar near downtown called OZ. Not his particular taste – a bit too lounge-y but it was casual enough. The theme was of course the Wizard of Oz, with subtle references in the décor – but not so subtle. A very large, rather tacky, painted yellow "brick" road swirled throughout the layout of the room started at the door and eventually led to bar, right where Killian stood.

Glancing around the room, he took inventory of the bar's inhabitants. Thirty-something's mingled throughout and between the tall tables scattered about the room. It wasn't a large bar by any means, definitely smaller than the Jolly Roger. But it managed to maneuver a small make-shift stage at the front of the room, just large enough for two barstools and a few mic stands. A guitar duo sat quietly playing to the room, just loud enough to be able to converse over. Several private booths also lined the back wall leading to the back alley entrance, all occupied with small groups and couples.

As he looked around the room, he took notice that Walsh and Zelena were absent. He'd arrived precisely at 8 pm and the pair was to be there any moment. Tink had specified that this was the location and time they were meeting.

He was still unsure of the entire scenario. It still felt so juvenile – stalking Emma's fiancé and then ambushing Emma by crashing their date to reveal the affair. But Emma would be better off in the end, he hoped.

Whether nothing came of his feelings for Emma (his heart ached at the thought) she at least needed to know the truth about the man she was planning to marry. Tinkerbelle had assured Killian that Walsh's affair was more than concreate. Emma just needed to see it.

His eyes found the door and then she was there, more beautiful than he remembered if that was even possible. She wore a flowing black dress that hung on her waste and fell to her feet; her golden tresses curtained her shoulders in long waves and she smiled with red lips when she saw him.

Her entire face lit up as she approached him at the bar.

"Hello love." His couldn't help but grin wide when she neared.

"Killian, hi!" She too grinned as Killian reached around and engulfed her in a hug. At the moment he realized their last hug had been when they'd departed at the train station after their weekend at the vineyard. So much had changed since then and yet it still felt so familiar and natural.

"So glad you could make it, Swan."

"I'm glad you called. It's nice to get out and do something different for a change." Something about her seemed different. She seemed light on her feet; exuding lightness all around her.

"Well it's my pleasure to escort the lady Swan on an evening out." He pulled a bar stool out for her as she took a seat. He watched her cheeks burn red and grinned to himself.

"It's been a while hasn't it?" Emma asked, tucking herself into the barstool and ordering a drink.

"Yeah, not since that, erm, dinner that we had a few weeks back I believe." Killian sipped his beer, repressing a small smile at the memory of the date and Emma's clear discomfort of the subject.

"Right, right. The one where you and Tinkerbelle hit it off, right?" Emma grinned deviously but Killian knew she was prying.

"She is a great, but alas, we are just friends. I told you that." He nudged her shoulder playfully.

"Oh that's right. Ruby had something different to say about that." Emma nudged back as the bartender placed a drink in front of her.

"Oh is that right? What might Ruby have told you about me?"

Emma seemed to be contemplating how to answer the question and Killian was almost afraid to hear it. He wasn't ashamed of his past and knew it would be told in due time but he would hate for something fabricated to sway Emma's feelings towards him (if she had any at all).

"Well, she told me that you are a bit of a ladies man," Emma answered vaguely, not making eye-contact.

"So you weren't shocked to see that Tink and I didn't 'work out'?" Emma nodded her head at Killian's rightful guess. "That may have been true for a time, Swan – I'm not ashamed. But I assure you, love, I am very much a one woman kind of a man." He let the words wash over her and Emma quickly took a sip of her drink, avoiding his gaze. For a brief second Killian forgot his entire scheme and wanted to tell Emma everything.

"Well then, cheers to that, I guess." Emma finally said, clinking her glass half-heartedly against his own.

"Yes, cheers." Killian downed his drink and summoned the bar tender for another.

"So what have you been up to Jones? Don't you have a band and a bar to take care of?"

"Ah, yes, the lads and I have been practicing and playing the occasional show all in preparation for the impending nuptials. But mostly I've been tending to The Jolly Roger. She's almost ready to set sail, if you will."

"You talk about her like it's a ship not a bar."

"Well the name stems from a ship, I'm sure you are aware."

"Yes, the ship of infamous Captain Hook. What inspired such a name?" Emma asked sincerely, her emerald eyes enchanting him. More than ever he felt the pull of Emma Swan and fell into the current of her gaze, allowing it to sweep him away.

"As young boys, my brother and I took a liking to the tale of Peter Pan. We used to make believe we were sometimes lost boys. Other times Liam pretended to be Peter and made me play the Captain. It was silly but it always resonated with me."

"That's so sweet; I didn't know you had a brother. You never mention him."

Killian hesitated, wondering why he brought this all up. It wasn't a night about him, it was about Emma. But he couldn't stop himself.

"He died when I was a teenager, barely legal. He was struck by a drunk driver. But turned out the driver was the son of a lord and it was very messy. His father wanted to cover it all up."

"I'm so sorry Killain! But that's manslaughter, how does anyone cover that up?"

"Authorities on site bought and paid for, reporters paid off – the only wild card was me. They needed me to keep my mouth shut and so they gave me a check and said they'd make my life hell if I didn't sign a nondisclosure agreement and if I talked they sue. I was just a kid, what did I know?

So I took the money and moved far away, vowing to honor my brother in a way he would appreciate." Killian took a long slug off his rum, letting the warmth burn his throat. This was not a conversation he had anticipated. He didn't know why he'd told her. But something about her made him want to be honest, to lower his own walls, just a little bit.

"I'm so sorry, Killian, really. No one should ever have to go through such a tragedy."

"We would know, wouldn't we?" Killian's gaze locked onto Emma's once more and he thought he saw something, something he hadn't seen since the vineyard.

"We sure do." She squeezed his hand. "Would you excuse me please?" Killian nodded and watched Emma find her way to the ladies room. Her brief exit brought him back to the present.

The room was at the same capacity as when they'd arrived. It must not be a very popular bar but there was still no sign of Walsh and Zelena. It was nearly 9 o'clock.

Killian: Are you sure the calendar said 8pm?

Tinkerbelle: Positive. He's not there?

Killian: No.

Tinkerbelle: I'm sorry Killian

Tinkerbelle: What's happening now?

Killian: She's in the loo.

Killian: I'm tired of waiting around and playing this game. Walsh is sodding git. He deserves everything he has coming to him.

Killian clicked off his phone without waiting for a response. He'd a made a choice. Walsh wasn't there yet and he'd been itching to say something since the moment Emma arrived. The plan was falling through and there was something about it tonight. It felt right.

"So Jones, spill it. What's the real reason you invited me out? I haven't seen or heard from you in weeks and you suddenly decide to call me out of nowhere for a drink?" Emma asked as she walked up behind him, smiling as she spoke.

"You know what, Swan, you are right. I did have alternative motives for asking you out tonight. Here." He pulled out a chair for her at a table near the stage. The guitar duo that had been the musical stylings of the night was on a break at the moment. Emma gave him a questioning look.

"I'll be right back, just wait here."

An idea had struck him. He wasn't initially sure how he was going to tell her how he felt but what better way to do it than in a song. She'd appreciate that.

He quickly found the two gents that had been playing and asked if he could borrow one of their guitars and explained his idea. They were more than willing to participate.

Killian suddenly felt extremely nervous and anxious all at the same time. This is not how he'd expected this night to go. But suddenly he was taking the stage with an acoustic guitar in hand and a microphone in front of him. He didn't even know what song he was going to play. Emma watched inquisitively from her table.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to the lovely lady Swan." And suddenly he knew.

Emma's heart raced. The night had taken many unexpected turns but this one was more than she thought she could handle.

The entire night she continuously reminded herself that this was not a date, but a meeting of two great friends and nothing more.

It was difficult though. The man was sexy as hell, completely adorable, and painfully haunted all at once. He was so much more than she thought.

Nearly in awe of him Emma had to excuse herself after the tale of the loss of his brother, she didn't think she could hold it together when he pointed out the obvious connection they shared to a broken family and lost love.

But when Emma came back from the ladies room she never expected Killian to take the stage with a hijacked acoustic guitar.

She sat at the table Killian had directed her to as he took a seat on stage. She heard the dedication and her everything inside of her froze. She saw him clearly for the first time that night, under the bright lights on the small stage. His hands were shaking and beads of sweat formed at his brow.

Then he started to play and the acoustic strumming of the familiar 90's song filled the air, raising goosebumps all over her body.

" _And I'd give up forever to touch you_

' _Cause I know that you feel me somehow_

 _You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be_

 _And I don't want to go home right now"_

Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls. Was he playing this for her?

" _And all I can taste is this moment_

 _And all I can breathe is your life_

 _When sooner or later its's over_

 _I just don't want to miss you tonight._

 _And I don't want the world to see me_

 _'Cause I don't think that they'd understand_

 _When everything's made to be broken_

 _I just want you to know who I am"_

He looked up at her as he continued strumming, his eyes watching her, burning as he continued the song.

" _And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming_

 _Or the moment of truth in your lies_

 _When everything feels like the movies_

 _Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive"_

She was puddle on the floor. What the hell was going on?

He continued the song and everything around her swirled in fog. Her heart was pounding out of her chest.

But something caught her eye. Someone had just walked into the bar. A man with a red head on his arm. She didn't know what caused her to look but she saw him.

It was Walsh. Walsh was there.

Suddenly everything stopped. She couldn't hear Killian playing anymore. She couldn't hear anything. There was just a white noise and static surrounding her as she sat paralyzed in her chair.

"… _I just want you to know who I am._

 _I just want you to know who I am."_

The room filled with the sound of applause and Emma finally turned her gaze back to Killian who hadn't taken his eyes off of her. He'd seen the whole thing.

The song ended and when Killian looked up he realized Emma was no longer watching him, but someone at the door.

It was Walsh. With Zelena.

Setting the guitar in the stand and nodding in thanks to the man who'd loaned him the guitar, he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. Emma was now standing at the table with Walsh and Zelena grinning.

"Killian that was incredible!" Her tone was high pitched and he could now see how forced her smile was. Her knuckles were white as she gripped her glass.

"Thanks, Swan."

"We only caught the end of it, but it was definitely _something."_ Zelena purred.

"Killian, I'm so sorry. This is Zelena! She's an associate of Walsh's."

Killian stood frozen in time as Emma introduced Walsh's mistress to him, as if it was completely normal. _Because Emma already knew her_. The realization struck Killian like a slap to the face. Walsh, the slimy son of a bitch had already introduced Emma to her so her presence would never raise suspicion.

That's why it was so easy to locate the appointment on Walsh's bloody calendar. This plan was never going to work.

"So good to meet you Killian! Walsh and Emma have told me so much about you." She held out her hand and he reluctantly took it and smiled. Of course they'd met already but she didn't seem to want to disclose that so he just nodded.

"Always nice to see you play Killian." Walsh chimed in and shook Killian's hand as well, winking as he smiled wickedly.

"This is such a coincidence that we'd run into each other tonight!" Zelena mooned.

"Yeah it's so funny that we'd both pick the same place for a meeting." Emma spoke fast, her words almost streaming together. "Killian just wanted to show me something he'd been working on!"

Killian watched Emma blabbering lies. _She was nervous._ What did she have to be nervous about? It suddenly dawned on him what this must look like: a date. They were both dressed up and her fiancé had just walked in on him serenading his betrothed. And she felt guilty about it.

"Please excuse me," he mumbled and ducked out of the bar. He pulled out his phone and pretended to take a call as he exited the room and went out onto the sidewalk. Thankfully they were on the bottom floor.

Tinkerbelle: There's something else you should know. Something I just found out.

Killian: It doesn't matter. This isn't going to work.

Tinkerbelle: What happened?

Killian: It's over Tink. She doesn't want me.

Tinkerbelle: Does she know about Walsh and Zelena?

Killian: They came into together and Emma already knew Zelena. They'd probably already met so Walsh could cover his ass.

Tinkerbelle: Well there's something else I didn't see until just now. Worse than the affair. You have to tell Emma.

"Killian?" Emma had followed him outside. "That was really weird wasn't it?" She pointed over her shoulder with her thumb.

Killian shrugged his shoulders, putting away his phone before he could see Tink's last text.

"Before that though… that song was really great." The softness in her tone almost made him believe that she knew it was for her. "Maybe you could play it at the wedding?"

And then he was gutted.

"Emma. I, um," he scrambled for the words as he scratched behind his ear. "I'm sorry."

"What is it?" She took a step closer and in the light he could see her tired eyes. He hated to do this to her.

"We can't play the wedding."

Her eyes went wide.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"Wh- I don't understand."

"I think you do." Killian's voice was soft but weighed down with everything he wanted to say but never would.

Now he could see the tears welling up in her eyes but Emma didn't say a word. He simply nodded once and it took everything inside of him to step forward as he turned away from her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **72 Hours Until the Wedding**

It had been roughly two weeks since Killian told Emma he wouldn't be playing at the wedding. She had half expected him to call her the next day or the day after that and explain himself. To say never mind and that he'd still play the wedding. But he never did call.

Instead she was forced to find a DJ at double the usual cost because it was so close to the wedding date.

It was a nightmare trying to get someone to play at such short notice. She'd had to have a meeting with the guy and sure he was fine. She could now play whatever she wanted and that was fine too. Walsh was happy. But he also didn't understand what happened to the band. Emma didn't know what to tell him, as she didn't quite know herself. (At least that's what she told herself.)

Tinkerbelle had also quit the shop so Walsh couldn't even ask her.

It just seemed as though everything was happening all at once. Walsh's family had almost all arrived and she'd met all of his brothers and their wives and their kids. The aunts and uncles and their kids were flying in too. It was so strange to have to meet so many new people all at once. But the pair she was most anxious to meet, Walsh's parents, wouldn't be arriving until the day of the ceremony. They'd be arriving from Vancouver late the night before so they wouldn't make it to the rehearsal dinner.

Even though the wedding was actually quite small by most wedding standards it still somehow felt huge and enormously out of her control. She felt as though she was being pulled in every direction and constantly having to remind herself to take everything one day at a time. Otherwise it felt like a great tornado straight out of Kansas coming to swallow her up. Some days it definitely felt like more of a nightmare than a dream come true.

"We should just fly to Atlantic City and elope." Emma had said one night that week. "No more planning, no more nonsense. We could just go and be done with it." She was only half joking but Walsh looked extremely alarmed at her words.

"We can't do that. We've already put so much money into this."

"We actually haven't paid most the vendors. So it wouldn't be that much of a loss." She grinned mischievously at him.

"But you were the one who said you wanted all this. We can't back out now. Plus my parents will be here soon and they really want to meet you and see everything."

"Alright, we'll get married at the beautiful vineyard and have the lovely ceremony. Since you're forcing me." She laughed when he finally realized she hadn't really meant any of it.

"You're just trying to make me crazy aren't you?" He laughed and pulled her into an embrace.

"There's just so much to do!"

That has been earlier in the week. Now it was roughly 72 hours before the big day and she still had to get a manicure and pedicure with Ruby and Mary Margaret. But that was hopefully going to be the stress-free part of the week.

Although every time she spoke with Ruby that week the woman seemed even more on edge than Emma was. Maybe a mani-pedi would do them all good.

One week ago

"Ruby, love, just listen. Please?" Killian flashed his puppy dog eyes at his dear friend knowing she couldn't resist his charm as she rolled her eyes and took a seat.

He'd invited her to The Jolly Roger under the guise of a tour before the grand opening. However, he'd really intended to implant the information he knew about Walsh and Emma upon Ruby, freeing him of the burden of having to tell Emma himself.

After the misfire at OZ it was clear to Killian he was not the one Emma wanted. Granted it was quite an unforgiving circumstance, it was still a rather plain confession, just short saying the words themselves to Emma.

But even if Emma didn't want to be with Killian she still deserved to know the lot of it. Not just the affair, but the real reason Walsh wanted to marry her. Tinkerbelle had done her research and it too much not to tell Emma.

"I've heard this before Killian – Walsh is lying scum who is cheating on her. But you said it yourself, Zelena is a business partner. There's no real evidence that he's cheating on Emma with her. Especially since Emma apparently knows the woman."

"First of all, the proof is that the man as good as told me he's unattached to Emma when we went on that sodding double date." Ruby rolled her eyes again.

"I should think that being her best friend you'd be more concerned about this."

"Killian, I'm concerned about Emma because she's wanted this her entire life. She needs this. And finding out Walsh is anything less than a Disney Prince would shatter her."

"You do remember Hans? The Disney Prince? He wasn't exactly honest or gentlemanly was he?" Killian silently chided himself for revealing his knowledge of Disney Princes, though it didn't seem to phase Ruby.

"That's not the point."

"Right, the point is even if Walsh isn't cheating on Emma (which I still believe he is), he is still not being honest with her and the truth would be more than devastating." Killian watched Ruby take a deep breath and close her eyes.

He'd told her everything already. The entire scheme with Tinkerbelle, the performance at Oz, the texts Tinkerbelle had sent, and what had followed. He didn't know why Ruby was fighting him so hard on this. She was the closest thing Emma had to family. Maybe she just didn't want to break her best friend's heart.

"Fine," Ruby's eyes opened as she exhaled, "I believe you."

"And you'll tell her?"

"I'll tell her everything." Shaking her head, Killian quickly pulled out two glasses from under the bar and his personal bottle of rum and poured them both a drink. Ruby threw hers back like a shot. "I wonder though, for someone so invested in this – you even backed out of the wedding – why didn't you just tell her yourself?"

"I tried. I practically spelled it all out – my feelings, the affair – it just sort of backfired. And truthfully, I didn't want to be the man who broke up their marriage. I wanted her to choose me. And after the other night I thought she'd made her choice." He slammed back his own drink and poured them both another. "And then Tink told me what Walsh was really up to and I couldn't give up."

Ruby nodded as she drank her rum a little more slowly this time.

Killian hung his head, a little less defeated.

"Emma is a lucky woman." Ruby sighed, still sipping the drink.

"Lucky? Not to the term I'd use."

"Lucky to have a man like you who loves her." Killian raised his head at that, eyeing a smirking Ruby. "I can't believe I'm going to do this."

Ruby, Emma, and Mary Margaret all sat in a row next to each other with their feet soaking in their individual pools of hot water.

Emma loved pedicures. She should think about getting them more often. They were so relaxing… her head rested on the chair and her eye lids drooped closed. For the first time in at least two weeks her head wasn't spinning with wedding stress.

"You know it's perfectly fine to get cold feet."

"I think my feet are quite warm right now actually." Emma spoke without opening her eyes. She'd been absentmindedly twisting her engagement ring around her finger when she heard Ruby over the woman scrubbing her feet.

"You know what I mean." Ruby's eyebrows arched.

"She's right Emma, it happens to a lot of brides before the big day. And given everything you've been through…" Mary Margaret chimed in.

"Oh no, not you too! Listen, you guys, its fine. It's more than fine. I'm getting married. I never thought this day would come." Emma smiled at her friends.

"Just remember we will always support you. So even if you do back out, we'll be there for you."

"While I appreciate the support, I wonder where this is all coming from?" Emma inquired, shifting in her chair.

"We're just looking out for you. We love you, Emma." Ruby smile was uneasy like she was sitting on something uncomfortable.

"And I love you both. Now can we please talk about something else? You guys are all packed and ready for tomorrow?" They were renting a car and driving up to the vineyard that way the three of them could bring all of the decorations and the dresses without worry about the train.

"Yes we're all set. The car is already packed and we're ready to leave tomorrow morning." MM assured Emma.

"Right, so then I will come over later tonight so we can wake up super early and drive up." She went over the plan again. "And then David and Victor will come up with Granny and LeRoy on the train?"

"Yep, they're all set!"

Emma and Walsh had both agreed on not doing the typical cliché bachelor and bachelorette parties with the strippers or the clubs or anything like that. But that night she'd spend it with Mary Margaret and Ruby while Walsh was with his brothers and his best man. Emma didn't even want to know what they were doing.

The drive the next morning to the Vineyard wasn't very long. Definitely shorter than the train ride with Killian, which had been close to three hours, even if it had gone by fast. She shook off the memory as they pulled into the parking lot of the Inn.

Emma took a deep breath before opening the car door. The beautiful old fashioned building loomed in front of her and she could feel the weight of it all trickling down her back and resting on her shoulders.

"You alright, Emma?" Mary Margaret asked, noticing the immediate change in Emma's mood.

They'd spent the drive listening to 80's classics with the windows down. The air was cool and they'd been so carefree singing at the top of their lungs like teenagers. It was so refreshing to let go of all of her burdens. Now she welcomed them back.

"I'm good." She answered, knowing it wasn't true.

The majority of the wedding guests would arrive the day of but the few that were coming to the rehearsal dinner had gathered early for the rehearsal ceremony. Most of Emma's guests were the ones to arrive early – Ruby, Mary Margaret and David of course. But there was also Victor, Ruby's boyfriend; Granny and LeRoy who'd came in on the train that afternoon as planned.

Similarly Walsh's brothers had all arrived sans wives and children for whatever night before wedding festivities they'd planned. All in all the rehearsals would be small and preferably short and the wedding itself would be only a bit bigger.

Resisting the urge to scratch her arms (for fear of bringing on anxious hives) and instead wiping her sweaty palms on her denim jacket, Emma stood at the end of the aisle. She wore a white cotton dress that came just above her knees with her favorite brown riding boots. Hair plated down her shoulder, paper bouquet in one hand and David in the other, she stared down the daunting pathway of the would be wedding aisle.

"You ready?" David asked in a low voice only she could hear.

Without a word Emma took a deep breath and with the exhale she nodded her answer.

The sun hung low in the sky and its fading existence splashed waves of violets and magentas along the horizon. The air was crisp with a hint of a chill nipping at her exposed legs as she began the long walk down the aisle.

The following day there wouldn't be many more people there and Emma could almost envision it was happening now as she walked. The only thing missing was the big white dress and the wedding march. The thought spiked an anxiety so forceful that she physically stopped.

Everything up until this point seemed like it had been happening in a fog. From the moment she said yes to Walsh's proposal she'd been in a blur of plans and comprises and lies and omissions. Now as she stood at the beginning of the sparsely decorated walkway of her future wedding aisle she saw things in bits of clarity.

She saw David, who had been walking beside her with his arm through hers, supporting her; she saw Mary Margaret at the Alter next to Ruby. All three of them watched her soundlessly, waiting on her cues. She gave none.

And there Walsh stood, more clearly than she'd ever seen him. At first he smiled, slightly encouraging her, although it did not reach his eyes. But as she continued to stand immobilized his expression grew more annoyed. His best man and his brothers all stood beside him, all sharing the same look of boredom and confusion.

Emma saw them all. She saw the sweat glistening on his forehead and the way he wiped his palms on his pants. Walsh was becoming anxious and impatient; she could feel it emanating from him as he gave no more looks of encouragement.

Emma turned to the man standing directly in front of her. A man she'd given hardly any attention to their entire engagement: the man marrying them. It wasn't a religious ceremony; they'd agreed it wouldn't be a priest or minister of any sort. But this man, Emma watched him in his casual college professor outfit and balding red hair; she didn't even know this man. He'd been a friend of a friend and now all he felt like was a stranger.

Everything just felt completely wrong. It felt like watching a movie of someone else's life play out before her.

Impending tears threatened her vision. Blinking several times, willing them away, she turned back to face Walsh. But she could no longer see Walsh at all.

Instead her mind had conjured another image. The image of a man with dark hair, almost black, standing in Walsh's place; a man with exposed chest hair in white button down shirt and the biggest grin she'd ever seen. She'd seen that grin before and she knew it was always sincere when he looked upon her.

Suddenly, feeling anxious and excited, the new image propelled Emma forward as she began to move towards the Alter. For a few brief moments, in her mind, she was walking towards a very different future.

"I've known Emma for a few years now and from the moment I met her I knew she was special." David stood at his table as he engaged the room. "I have loved her like a sister, a sister I will always protect fiercely. She is my friend and she is my family. But now it's time for her to welcome a new kind of family into her life and I couldn't be more proud of her to have come so far in her life to be able to accept this kind of love. I'm so excited and I can't wait for you both to start the next chapter of your lives together. To the happy couple!" David raised his glass and the room cheered as they all drank to the toast.

Emma held out her own glass and silently cheersed David from a table away.

The rehearsal dinner had been well under way but Emma felt a distant pulling in the back of her mind since the start of the evening's events. The constant shuffle of people coming up to she and Walsh's table made it even more impossible to get a grasp on her thoughts. The room was spinning with chatter and commotion.

She hardly even noticed the grandeur of the quaint ball room in which their small party dined. Walsh and Emma sat at their own table while their separate family members sat across from each other in opposing tables. Ruby watched her like a hawk from across the small space. Her gaze shifted constantly between wanting to say something and looking as if she might be sick.

Emma was too busy wondering if she could slip out and any one would notice to call Ruby on her plight. But it was too close, Ruby watched her too close, too nervously.

When the night finally neared its end the party began to disperse. Walsh pulled Emma into the hallway to say goodnight.

"Everything's going to change for us tomorrow." He crooned, tucking a wayward hair behind Emma's ear. "Husband and wife, finally."

"I know, I – I can't believe it's happening." Emma nodded. He smiled and for a moment she searched his gaze for sincerity, for something indicating that she was wrong about all of it. But instead he kissed her, kissed her hard, like he hadn't done in ages. Sliding his palms up her neck, hugging her face, she eased into him.

He whispered goodnight and was gone before she opened her eyes. Left momentarily speechless in the empty hallway it only took Emma a moment to realize she was completely alone for the first time she'd arrived. Quickly brought back to reality after the surprising kiss she took the opportunity to slip out into the night to finally have a moment alone with her thoughts.

Wandering through the garden Emma found her way onto a path through the vineyard, a path lined with budding red grapes.

The night was heavy and the October weather was not as kind after sunset. Emma wished she'd brought a warmer jacket. Instead she hugged her arms around her denim-clad shoulders as she wandered the path.

Finally she could breathe. Away from prying eyes and too many questions she couldn't answer, Emma could breathe.

It felt like the first breath she'd taken since the day began. Or maybe since the day before. Or the week before. In fact she couldn't remember the last time she didn't feel tethered down, always grasping for air.

She'd grown so used to the weight of it all – the wedding, the new family, and all the things she'd told herself she wanted – she could feel it pressing on her chest for months.

Walsh was trying, sometimes he seemed like this is all he could ever want and other times it felt like she was the furthest thing from his mind. Even with their kiss lingering on her lips her mind still reached for another imagine. The image conjured during her rehearsal walk down the aisle – the image of Killian Jones standing before her waiting to marry her. It sent a chill down her spine and formed a knot in her throat.

For so long she'd suppressed even the slightest idea of having any real feelings for the man – it felt so terrible to think it freely, even in her own mind. But now, staring down the barrel of a gun, her wedding day, she was facing all truths she'd pushed away for months.

The image of marrying Killian instead of Walsh consumed her as she walked under the moonlight, trailing her fingertips along the green vines.

She envisioned a life they could have together. A life of friendship and partnership, live music, late nights, walks in the park; a life of independence and yet cohesiveness; a life that they both wanted, melted together. The same vision of her in a wedding dress walking towards him, another of a child with bright blue eyes running towards them, all things she should want with Walsh.

So easily the visions came to her as a life with Killian, but somehow they turned to nothingness with Walsh. A great gaping hole in her life where happiness should be. Maybe it was cold feet but if it was she'd been feeling it since the day she'd said yes.

Walsh was never going to change and their life they'd built with each other now was never going to change. She'd never asked him to change it for her. She'd never expected it to change but somehow it felt like it just didn't fit anymore. Not emotionally, not even physically.

She'd basically cut him off physically. Not on purpose but then it became a thing – she'd even told him that they should still hold off and now just wait for the honeymoon. It was a twisted lie, a simple way to cover up the fact that she couldn't even bring herself to make love to the man she was betrothed to.

Emma had found a spot under a great oak tree in a grassy knoll away from the path of the grapes. The only light from the moon shone through the leaves as she sat at the base of it.

For months she denied not only her feelings about Killian but her true feelings about Walsh. She'd wanted so badly to feel loved, to feel safe and accepted, that she'd ignored all of her other natural instincts. And now the realization was crashing down around her.

Tomorrow she was supposed to get married. How could she possibly do that?

She wasn't in love with Walsh. She wanted the wedding and the fantasy life and Walsh was offering all of those things to her. But she didn't want them with him.

Emma pulled out her phone to check the time. It was nearly midnight and she had several alarmed texts from Ruby. As she read through them she'd found her way to a picture Ruby had sent her months ago. It was the picture from her first night at the Rabbit Hole, the night she'd spent drunkenly with Ruby and Killian.

Killian's arm was wrapped around her and his eyes were bright and alive as he eyed her in the phone.

She knew with a pang in her gut that she couldn't marry Walsh. She couldn't marry Walsh because she didn't love him. Maybe she never did.

She also happened to be in love with someone else.


	11. Chapter 11

A/n: I'm sorry this has taken so long to post! I've been writing this story for over a year and I've always had a few more chapters written then what I've posted until the last chapter. I finally caught up with myself, so it's taken a bit longer. The next few chapters will also be a bit shorter than usual but probably will be posted faster. I hope you guys have enjoyed this story as much as I have. It's really grown into a story about Emma finding herself and I love that! She's such a strong and beautiful character. Anyway, enjoy and there is more to come!

 **Chapter 11**

A week passed since Killian had told Ruby about Walsh.

With this news he sort of hoped he might hear from Emma. Instead, radio silence.

And now she was getting married tomorrow. Or so that was the plan. He didn't know otherwise.

"You've got to get to it together mate." Robin sat on Killian's couch with a beer in hand – an all too familiar sight.

Robin hadn't been too happy when Killian told him and the rest of the lads that he'd cancelled their wedding gig. They'd all been rather excited to play something completely different than what they were used to. But Killian had impulsively cancelled and hadn't even thought of what they might think.

Robin understood best. He probably knew this was going to happen from the beginning. Or at least from somewhere in the middle of it all.

"You did everything you could have done."

"Except confess my feelings for the woman." Killian spat from a bar stool off the kitchen island.

"Well yeah, there's that."

"I just thought that maybe – maybe once Emma knew what a sack of garbage Walsh is – she'd realize what I'd done, or was trying to do."

"Maybe she just needs time? Think about it – she'd just gotten this giant bomb dropped on her – she's got to dump the guy right? And then she'd got to move out of her flat, find somewhere to stay and dismantle a whole wedding. That's got to take time."

Killian ran his fingers through his hair, trying not to pull it out. This woman had consumed him. Every waking moment he thought of her. And even though he'd never explicitly said it, he hoped she knew.

"Or maybe she doesn't feel the same way you do?" Killian looked up at his friend, somewhat shocked at the statement. "I'm sorry, mate, but have you ever thought that she might not feel the same? She has been planning to get married this whole time."

Killian shook his head, staring at his shoes remembering every moment they spent together. He thought of the first time he met her – her eyes glued to him as he performed that first time on the unfinished Jolly Roger stage. He thought she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. He thought of that very same night at the Rabbit hole, how he'd felt something unexplainable at the time. He thought of their meeting in the park, the first time he ever sang directly to her – she'd gotten so flustered she'd had to walk away.

He thought of their terrible date she'd set them up on. How Emma had gotten completely sloshed she drunk herself under the table when she thought he was interested in Tinkerbelle romantically. And then she was so relieved when he told her it was nothing that night he sang to her again. The night he tried to lay it all out for her, when he sang Iris. The way she watched him he knew he wasn't alone in his feelings. He couldn't be.

"No." Killian slugged back his beer when the realization hit him. "She doesn't know. She doesn't bloody know!" He pulled out his phone and was dialing Ruby before Robin could even close his mouth.

"Hello?" She answered fast and frantically.

"You haven't told her yet, have you?"

"Killian?"

"Ruby, why haven't you bloody told her? She's getting married tomorrow!"

"Don't you think I know that? I've been trying to find the best way to tell her but there's no easy way to break this kind of news to someone." Killian could hear a lot of chatter in the background on Ruby's end. He wondered if she was near Emma.

"Of course there's no easy way to tell someone the man they're about to marry is a lying sodding git but it's got to be done. Emma has every right to know." He was getting more upset by the second. Emma needed to know.

Ruby didn't answer right away. He just heard a lot of ruffling around and then the noise stopped. Everything was quiet.

"Ruby?"

"You know you have some nerve going off on me about not telling Emma all of this. You're the one who found out but you're too chicken shit to tell her so you push it off on me."

"I'm not familiar with this American slang."

"You're too afraid! And you're too afraid to tell her how you feel about her!" Ruby was whisper yelling, her voice grew steadily louder by the word. "How about you get your British ass up here and finally tell her how you really feel about her?"

Killian was rather taken aback for a moment before he could answer. She was right of course.

"Killian, I will tell her. I promise. She can't marry that douche bag. I know, I get it." And then she hung up. Didn't even give Killian a chance to answer.

"Well, that settles it then." Robin chimed in, having heard the entire conversation. "You have to go."

Emma rose the next morning with warmth on her skin, the sun shining through the window of her suite.

It wasn't often she woke to such a blissful sight, the sky so bright with orange and yellows. She'd momentarily forgotten the previous evening's events but as her gaze followed the rays of the sun they landed on her wedding dress, haphazardly thrown over a chair, and she instantly remembered.

Emma remembered her resolutions and her gut tightened at the thought of what she had to do today.

She had to call off the wedding. She had to break Walsh's heart.

Even after her revelations about their relationship she still was ultimately going to break his heart. It was the first time she'd actually thought about him from this perspective. (Although she _had_ only made the decision less than 12 hours ago.) Still, think what she might about their relationship, it just didn't fit anymore. Even if Walsh was so excited about the wedding and all its glory. She wondered what the day might now encompass.

But it had to be done. And sooner rather than later.

Within seconds of wiggling the covers to exit the bed Ruby was at her side with a steaming mug of coffee.

"Good morning!"

"Morning, Ruby."

"Emma I know you've got so much to do and it's your wedding day but there's something I _need_ to talk to you about. I've been _needing_ to talk to you about this but there was never a right time and now there isn't any time." She was standing in front of Emma, rambling but Emma wasn't listening.

She'd thrown the blankets off of her and moved past Ruby to her suitcase, quickly throwing on whatever clothes were on top and slipping into the bathroom.

"Emma, are you listening?" Ruby called as Emma emerged from the bathroom moments later. "We need to talk, it's important."

"Ruby, I'm sorry but I have to step out. I shouldn't be more than an hour." She was already at the door, barely noticing her friend's crestfallen expression.

"Emma, please. This can't wait. It shouldn't have waited this long." Ruby's last ditch effort pleading with Emma to stay made her take a step back.

"Ruby I promise I will explain everything when I get back. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's important but this can't wait either." With those words Emma fled the room trying to reason that she'd explain away Ruby's hurt and confusion when she returned. She wanted to tell her friends but it didn't feel right telling them before Walsh.

She didn't think they'd try to talk her out of it. Not after their conversation at the nail salon, but it just felt like something she needed to do on her own.

So Emma headed for the suite Walsh was staying in with all of his brothers. A creeping anxiousness swept over her as she approached the room. Wiping her slightly sweaty palms on her leggings she ignored the pangs in her gut and prepared to knock on the door.

Before her knuckles even reached the surface the door swung open. One of Walsh's younger brothers, Tom (maybe?), stood suddenly grinning at the scenario. He chuckled and waved her through as he exited the behind her.

The suite was identical to the one she stayed in with Ruby and the others. Emma spotted the door to Walsh's room where she could hear voices coming from. Fully equipped to knock and announce herself as she approached something made her stop. Walsh was laughing horrendously and she thought she heard her name. The bail bonds-person in her waited, listening.

"Does Emma know?" Walsh's youngest brother (Peter, maybe – she really sucked at learning their names. But now she wouldn't have to.) asked through the muffled laughter.

"Of course not." Walsh finally spat out.

"Does Zelena know?

"Why would I tell her?"

"So both your fiancé and your mistress have no idea about the inheritance?"

"As long as mom and dad show up to witness the vows all should go off without a hitch. I will inherit my share of our grandparents will and fortune and become a very rich man."

"And lucky. A wife and a mistress who have no idea. I really need to find a wife."

"All joking aside, Emma is a sweetheart but what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Maybe I'll tell her in time."

"Yeah right."

"Yeah, _right."_ They both erupted in laughter. Emma couldn't see their faces but she could picture the familiar smug look on the bastard's face.

Now fully prepared to barge into the room and announce that she'd heard the whole thing something made her stop. She needed to process what the hell she just heard.

Slowly creeping away she made it back into the hallway without a sound.

Her head was spinning.

Absentmindedly her feet carried her down the hall and out the back door, all the way to the garden courtyard, not far from where she'd escaped last night.

There she felt the warm rush of wind on her face as she stepped into the nearly mid-day sun, where she was finally able to connect the dots of everything she just heard.

Walsh was gaining an inheritance for marrying her. His parents had to witness the nuptials for it to be valid. _And he was having an affair with Zelena._

Suddenly everything made sense. The pressure to have a real wedding with _witnesses_ and yet the disinterest in the entire thing as well as her most of the time, save for the times he's reassuring her they should _get_ married (like that kiss the night before but his contentment of not having sex with her for three months).

And his constant trips, his need to always weasel out of things due to a business venture. And, _oh god_ , Zelena was his business partner the whole damn time! The sneaky son of a bitch even introduced them to each other – probably to throw her from having any suspicion.

So was he just marrying her for the money? She'd heard Walsh tell his brother he didn't plan on telling her or even Zelena. It would make sense that he would be marrying her just for the money but what's with Zelena? Why didn't he just marry her? Or maybe she wasn't part of the plan and since he didn't care for Emma all that much it wouldn't matter if he cheated on her!

Emma was becoming angrier by the second. He was a lying, cheating, bastard who was just using her! She practically stomped around the garden courtyard as she paced around untangling Walsh's web of lies.

It was too fitting really. The moment she decided she didn't want to marry Walsh was the moment she would find out who he really was. She almost laughed out loud because of course it would be like this.

But what would be laughter brought tears to her eyes instead. She couldn't help but feel sad, even just a little bit. As far as Walsh knew they were getting married and starting a life together. And this is how he would spend it with her – lying and using her – tricking her into believing they were supposed to be happy. He not only didn't love her, he disrespected her – probably thought she was a low life and took pity on her.

No. She wasn't going to feel bad for herself. Walsh didn't deserve that. She'd been about to break up with him anyway. Now she won't feel bad for breaking his heart – she'll be happy the son of bitch won't get his damn money.

She pulled out her phone.

Emma: Meet me in the garden?

Walsh: Now?

Emma: Yes

Walsh: Be down in a few.


	12. Chapter 12

A/n: Another long wait lovelies, I'm sorry! But you are all so wonderful. I just thank you all for being so wonderfully supportive.

Chapter 11

The sun had reached its apex as Emma paced the garden waiting for Walsh. Her tears had dried up and she was more anxious than ever when he finally arrived.

"Emma, is something wrong? What's going on?" She had to give him props, he did sound genuinely concerned.

"Sit?" She motioned towards a wrought iron set of vintage chairs. He sat down looking alarmed but waited for her to start.

"Walsh, I need to tell you something, which I'm sure you've gathered…" she muttered to herself as she tried to find the best way to say it, not that she was breaking his heart (just his bank account). "I can't go through with this wedding… I can't marry you."

She let the words dangle in front of him. She could already see the faint glow of the sun around him as the heat burned his cheeks.

"Wh-why?" He finally stuttered out, bewilderment overcoming his features.

"I'm sorry Walsh but I realized that this isn't the life I wanted. I wasn't being honest with myself for a long time and now I know what I want."

"Emma we can have any life you want. Together." He looked quite sincere and she thought momentarily that he might actually love her. "Let's just get married today and we'll figure it all out as we go." And then it was gone.

"Walsh, you're not understanding me. I'm not in love with you. I'm not sure if I ever was." Emma left out the part about being in love with someone else. Somehow that didn't seem as important in this moment as it was to separate herself from Walsh. She watched as he schooled his features. She couldn't tell if he was angry or bewildered but he was trying to keep it together, that much she knew.

"I just don't understand where this is all coming from." He reached out and tried to grasp her hands but she pulled away. "Emma, please. We can work this out. We can figure this all out. We don't have to live by the rules. We can make our own rules."

Now she was getting angry. He was so desperate to marry her for the money he'd say anything.

"Walsh, we can't. Plus you already don't live by _"the rules"_ and I'm done. Stop pretending that this is real. It's not."

His eyes grew large with shock and his mouth hung open.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He tried to look hurt but he was more curious than anything.

Emma sighed, knowing she didn't want to say anything about what she'd heard. She knew in her heart that she didn't love him and couldn't go on with the sham of a wedding and that's all that should matter. But somewhere deep inside she confessed to herself that she was hurt by his infidelity and lies.

"You're just not who I thought you were and I'm not who I thought I was. The bottom line here is that this isn't going to work."

Silence hung in the air. It was Walsh's turn to process what had just happened. She watched the wheels turning in his head and waited for his next move.

He seemed to make a decision as he began to speak. "Emma, what if I told you something? Something that might change your mind? I was planning to wait until after the wedding, a wedding gift, if you will, but I guess now is as good a time as any." He took a deep breath and she knew what his move was.

"I told you how my grandparents died shortly before we met right? Well it turns out they left me and my brothers an inheritance, but we were only to receive it upon getting married. I just found out about this and I wanted to tell you as a surprise. But maybe we can make this work? We get married and inherit the money and then make our own rules. We can be in an open marriage? We can see other people if that's what you want. And then in time we can get a divorce and no one will be the wiser."

Emma watched Walsh ramble on about the marriage like it meant nothing to him. Just a piece of paper and all he cared about was the money. Which completely proved her suspicions that he never did love her.

"You're a sick son of a bitch you know that right?" She stood of up from the table, turning away as he threw up his arms, exasperated.

"Come on Emma!"

"No. Marriage, a family, children! Those are all things I want. A real life with someone who loves me and only me. And that person is not you." For the first time in months she was being totally honest with herself that she did really want those things and she knew the person she wanted them with.

She crossed her arms and watched him as he grew angrier, realizing that he wasn't getting what he wanted.

"What about what I want?! I've put more than a year's worth of time and effort into this relationship! We've built something here Emma, something good. And now you're just going to throw it all away? We could have so much! It might not be everything you've ever dreamed of but we could do it. I was willing to bring you into my family, make a life for you and this is how you repay me?!"

"I think you should go. Tell your brothers and their families I'm sorry. Tell your parents they'll just have to wait for the next one. But you all need to go."

"Emmaaa."

"Save it, please. I'm tired. We've been living a lie for too long. Don't you think it's time to be honest with ourselves?"

Walsh's entire face had turned red and he was bursting at the seams. For a moment he was entirely unpredictable. But he surprised her by simply standing up from the table and shaking his head.

"I think you're making a big mistake Emma Swan."

She rolled her eyes because now he was just being dramatic. Clearly she wasn't making a mistake, she was dodging a bullet.

He just shuffled off, shaking his head. He'd almost given up too easily; she had anticipated more. It was almost anticlimactic. That made her worry. There had to be more to come.

He was probably already planning his revenge. Burning her clothes, throwing her records out the window, she knew there was retribution to be had but right now all she wanted to do was be happy.

Tipping her chin to the sky, she peered in the direction of the sun and just smiled, soaking in the heat.

Because for the first time in the months, she was free.

* * *

Emma stood outside of her suite pacing; now dreading having to tell her friends she'd just called off her own wedding. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

"Emma what happened to you!?" Ruby jumped up from the bed and another figure rose behind her. Emma recognized Mary Margaret with a worried look on her face as Ruby engulfed her in a hug.

"We were worried; you weren't answering any of our texts!"

"Listen, Emma, I really need to tell you something. I know you've got a million other things on your mind right now and we need get started for the day but promise me you'll just hear me out for the next few minutes?" Ruby clutched Emma shoulders, watching her, waiting for a response.

Emma knew Ruby had been sitting on something uncomfortable for the last week and Emma wasn't exactly dying to spill everything that had just transpired. So she simply nodded and sat on the bed across from Mary Margaret.

"Alright. It's not easy to tell you this but just listen." The brunette paced around the room wringing her hands as she contemplated the information she was about to dispose. "So a few days ago I found out some news and I've been wanting to tell you but there was never a right time and of course I wondered if there would ever be a right time to say this because no wants to hear it - ,"

"Ruby." Mary Margaret shot her friend a look, urging her to stay on track. Emma watched the two of them, nervously waiting for what her friend had to say and her stomach churning for what she, herself, had to tell them.

"It's about Walsh. Emma, he's not the man you think he is. He's –,"

"A lying, cheating bastard?" Emma supplied unable to hold back anymore when she anticipated what Ruby was about to say. Her friend simply paused, staring at Emma, her mouth hanging open.

"But – how – I don't –," Ruby stumbled, looking for the words while Mary Margaret just stared.

Emma took a deep breath. Then she slowly began recounting her version of the last 18 hours. Starting with the wedding rehearsal, where she began to feel the first real pressing doubt. She told her friends how for so long she felt uneasy and wrong. "But I didn't understand why – not until I was standing at the end of that isle, staring down a loveless future…"

And after rehearsal dinner she'd disappeared to think – only to finally realize that she truly wasn't in love with Walsh and that she didn't know if she ever really was.

"I woke up this morning with the resolve to tell him and call the whole thing off. I'd made up my mind and that was that."

"Oh Emma! I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this alone." Mary Margaret grasped her friends hand tightly, looking upon her with the greatest sadness.

"Emma, I'm so proud of you." Ruby smiled a sad smile. The three of them pulled each other into a hug and stood for a long moment not speaking. Until Ruby realized something. "You still haven't explained what happened with Walsh and how you know about him."

"Oh, right." Emma half laughed feeling a bit of relief from their hug. They pulled away and Emma launched back into the story. How she found Walsh in his suite basically confessing his entire plan and exposing himself all at once unknowingly to a listening Emma. Emma half laughed again still finding the irony of the situation strangely fitting, "because of course as soon of I make the choice to break up with him he gives me even more reason to do it!

So I called him into the courtyard and calmly explained that I didn't love him and that I couldn't marry him. He has no idea I know about Zelena. And the money – when he was getting desperate he tried to use it as a bribe. Said we could get married, inherit the money and then make our own rules." Emma sighed and shook her head, playing with the hem of her shirt.

"I just wanted to believe that someone loved and accepted me for me. I wanted a family and a marriage. I wanted a partner. And maybe in the beginning I thought Walsh could be all of those things because I was so overwhelmed with his "love" (because man did he put on a good show) that I thought - I thought it was real." She looked up at her friends sad faces.

"But it was me all along. I was the one pretending. And then right when I realize all of this I find out he's also pretending."

"Oh, Emma." Mary Margaret repeated, stroking Emma's hand with her thumb. "We told you, we're here for you no matter what."

"Good because we have a wedding to call off." Emma replied.

"I'm so sorry Emma…" Ruby, who hadn't made eye contact throughout Emma's confession, spoke. "I should have told you before all of this happened. I should have told you the moment I found out." She finally looked up at Emma with tears in her eyes.

"I don't know if I would have believed you if I hadn't heard it with my own ears. Even that was tough to swallow. And I already knew I was dumping him!" Emma tried to make light of it, if only to appease her friend but then something dawned on her. "How _did_ you come to find out about all this anyway?"

Ruby wiped her eyes and looked at Emma, carefully assembling her words before she spoke just one: "Killian."

Twenty minutes later Emma and David were wrapped in a serious embrace. Emma was consoling David that this wouldn't be his only opportunity to walk someone down the aisle.

"David, there is still hope. I haven't given up on love." Emma said, desperately trying to reassure him.

"I believe you'll find someone perfect for you Emma. Maybe you've already met them and you don't even know it!" David said in her ear. "I just want you to be happy."

"Alright, babe, you can let go of Emma now. We've still got work to go." Mary Margaret tugged on his shoulder.

"Yes, lots to do! Who knew calling off a wedding would be so much work." Emma sighed, picking up her phone. "Almost as much work planning the damn thing." She muttered under her breath. Why did it always seem so much easier to call of a wedding in the movies? Everyone just seemed to scatter and dissipate.

Emma quickly assigned everyone tasks to make sure everything got done. Call the vendors, the hotel, the catering company, the florist, the DJ, there was so much to be done.

Sometime later, amongst all the chaos Ruby managed to pull Emma aside.

"There is something else I didn't get to tell you earlier." Emma's heart instantly raced. Immediately following Ruby's confession that Killian was her informant David had interrupted them. She'd had to explain everything all over again. After that they were instantly in cancel-wedding-mode.

"I was supposed to give you this earlier, as a wedding gift." Ruby held out a charcoal colored cardboard box, the size of a ring box.

Emma eyed the box suspiciously. "Why would you give me a wedding gift? I'm not even getting married anymore."

"Just open the damn thing." Ruby pushed the small box into Emma's dainty hands.

It was light, as if it was empty. Emma hesitantly cracked the top open. Within the box housed a beautiful silver necklace – and its charm – a silver treble clef music note. Emma admired the necklace, however puzzled with the gesture.

"I still don't understand." She mumbled more to herself than to Ruby as she studied the piece of the jewelry. She then noticed the single stone in the bottom of the note – a sapphire. Instantly her heart filled and she felt tears in her eyes.

"Ruby –?" She silently asked her friend the question in her heart. Emma had only ever told one person she loved sapphires. She'd only shared this kind of bond with one person.

Ruby smiled and simply nodded.

Without words the friends communicated what had been there all along. Emma had been careful in her confession to both Ruby and Mary Margaret to leave out the part about Killian and her new understanding of her feelings for him. But Ruby must have known, understood somehow that those feelings played a role in all of this. Emma just wasn't ready to admit it to everyone just yet. Emma had denied it for so long until the previous night but Ruby had always known on some level.

Emma snapped the box closed and with the cracking of it David and Mary Margaret turned their attention to the two of them.

Mary Margaret watched Emma with intensity in her eyes Emma hadn't seen before. "Well?" She asked knowingly.

"Emma, don't you have somewhere to go?" Ruby nudged her elbow. Emma gawked for a moment between her friends realizing they both knew all along.

Quickly grabbing her purse and phone, Emma held the box tightly in her hand as she ran towards the door. Behind her she heard David asking the girls what the hell was going on.

"Remember how you said love might be right in front of her?" Mary Margaret asked, "You were right."

Emma smiled as the door closed behind her.


	13. Chapter 13

A/n: This chapter has been probably one of the more difficult ones to write so far. Probably because I know this story is coming to an end very soon. But I've had this chapter planned from the beginning and it's charged along the way and taken some unexpected turns, but I hope you enjoy. I think there will be at least one more chapter after this, possibly an epilogue. Hope you like, it's what you've all been waiting for!

Chapter 13

Emma felt like she was running a marathon, her heart was beating so fast. She was running down the hallway of the inn, running out the door, running into the road. All she could think about was Killian. Because he was there! He was there, he came for her.

Everything negative, all the nasty things about Walsh and what she had discovered slipped away. All she could focus on now was the prospect of seeing Killian.

Imagines of their time spent together flashed through her mind. The first time she ever saw him on the stage of the Jolly Roger, guitar in hand. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. That night they'd spent together at the Rabbit Hole, she felt a happiness take root in her. She could never have explained it then, but looking back on it now, it made perfect sense. It was a happiness that grew with every interaction they had.

When he sang to her in her park – she'd never forget having to walk away from him because she was so flustered. She wanted to melt into herself. He'd swept her off her feet and continued to do so. Even when he was a perfect gentleman and accompanied a woman he barely knew to her wedding destination because her asshole fiancé abandoned her. Killian didn't have to do that but he stayed and he slept on the floor and he never spoke of their almost kiss that night. The kiss she so desperately wanted.

She tried to find any excuse to see him after that even if it was probably the worst idea she ever had (okay maybe second). That double date with Tinkerbelle was so excruciating, she'd had to get plastered just to get through the night.

And then she had that dream – oh the dream she wanted to be real. She'd nearly lost it when she thought Killian was dating Tinkerbelle that night when she'd gone to him after that dream. What would she have said then? She was a coward and she went running back to Walsh more determined than ever to get married and forget about Killian. But it was impossible. And when he sang to her at OZ it was definitely one of the hardest things she'd ever done - to walk away from him.

But now after all of that she was finally doing something right.

She'd finally stopped running away from what she truly wanted.

Not that she'd thought about what she was going to say when she actually saw Killian. Ruby hadn't even told her where he was. (She actually hadn't said anything.) But Emma could take a good guess.

She'd slowed down to a fast walk as she saw what she was looking for.

Taking a deep breath, Emma pulled open the door to Granny's – the 80's diner set off the property of the vineyard, the diner in which they'd gone to the night they spent together so many months ago.

Instantly her eyes found him. Killian sat in the very same booth they'd shared. But he didn't look up as she entered. Emma's heart pounded, expecting him to look up any second. She wanted to run to him and just kiss him, no words, just feeling. But something stopped her. Too much had happened.

Instead an idea struck her. She turned to the corner where the old jukebox stood silent. Fishing into her purse she pulled out a dollar bill and slipped it into the machine. The thing was old fashioned and limited on songs but there was just one in particular that she had in mind.

Once again the sound of Eddie Money's _Take Me Home Tonight_ filled the diner. She turned fast, pressing her back into the machine to see his reaction. Like she expected, Killian's eyes found hers immediately. She noted a small flash of surprise before a grin crept onto his face. She smiled to herself as she made her way to his booth and held out her hand. Silently he took it as she led him to the middle of the room. It wasn't a dance floor, it had never been a dance floor, but they danced.

Emma wrapped her arms around him and they moved together in a slow embrace, defying the fast pace of the song. She just wanted to be close to him and this song meant something to them. It meant something to her.

They picked up the pace, rocking back and forth, laughing when Killian spun her around, catching her. Emma moved with him, their hands clasped tight together. As they danced the room slipped away and all she could see was him. It must have looked so silly to the rest of the diner patrons but to her they didn't exist.

When the song ended they were laughing and she didn't want it to be over. But the music stopped and suddenly everyone reappeared as the sound of clapping and woo-ing surrounded them.

"I think they enjoyed the show." Emma huffed, somewhat out of breath.

"I know I did." Killian replied, lightly squeezing the hand he still held of hers.

Now very aware of all the people, Emma scanned the room before turning back to Killian. "Can we talk outside?"

"Of course, love."

Nodding, she still held on tightly to his hand as they exited the diner. There was a picnic table under a nearby tree off the parking lot. Emma guided Killian towards it, sitting next to each other on the bench.

Silence fell between them while Emma worked up the courage to start. Killian patiently waited for her to go first. And for a moment she was once again awestruck by their scenario that she didn't know where to begin. Then she remembered what lied in her purse.

Emma smiled to herself as she reached into her small bag and pulled out the necklace Killian had gifted her through Ruby's hands. She set the box on the table between them.

Killian lightly traced the edge of the box.

"Ah, I see you got my gift."

"Yes, it's lovely." Emma continued to smile. "It's the reason I'm here actually."

"Oh." Killian's face fell a fraction and he started to pull his hands away but Emma quickly reached for them.

"One of the reasons I mean." Emma reassured him. "Ruby gave it to me and I knew it was from you because who else knows that I love sapphires and would choose that charm." She was slightly rambling but she wasn't saying what she wanted.

"Killian, I –," She struggled to spit out the words, "I'm sorry."

"Love, you don't have to apologize." He lightly squeezed her hand.

"I do though. Killian, I'm sorry it took me so long." Her breath hitched in her throat as he gazed up at her from his gorgeous blue eyes while the words washed over him and he understood her meaning. "I'm sorry it got so messy but I'm here. I'm finally here in this place and I want to tell you everything. I have to." He nodded and she continued.

"Killian, you know me. You know my heart. And it's taken me this long but… I think I know yours." She could feel the knot in her throat and the tears prickling her eyes but she continued. "I was afraid. I knew what the safe the choice was all along. I knew I could have everything I ever wanted with a man who I thought loved me. Maybe I thought I could love him one day – the way you're supposed to really love someone. And then I met you." She couldn't stop the tears now.

"And you showed me a light in my life that I didn't know was there. So I made a choice. I couldn't marry him. The funny thing is – he never really loved me and I don't think I ever loved him. And that's why I'm here. Because this is where I want to be on my wedding day – with you."

Killian watched her intensely while tears trickled down her face. She was a mess but she was the most beautiful mess he'd ever seen. His heart swelled with her confession because it was everything he wanted to hear. It was more than enough for him. But he had his own confession to make.

"I'm sorry too Emma. I'm sorry I was so afraid to tell you how I felt. I'm sorry I was selfish." Emma looked at him questioningly and he knew he had to tell her everything too.

"I knew Walsh was a bastard and I knew of his infidelities. But I didn't want to win your heart by any means of trickery. However knowing the true identity of your betrothed made it that much more difficult. I didn't want to betray your trust but selfishly I didn't want to be the man to break up your marriage. I didn't want you to resent me.

"None of that matters anymore. I'm in this for the long haul and I'll wait for you as long as you need." He struggled to smile against the threat of his own tears.

Emma shook her head. "You're right. None of that matters. And you don't have to wait." She leaned forward, reaching for him. Her hands snaked around his neck as she scooted across the bench, inches from him. "I don't want to wait." She whispered, eyes closed, lips lightly pressing against his.

Gently they moved together, finding a rhythm. His hands found her chin, lightly curling through loose strands of her blond tresses. He'd dreamed of this moment, the moment they'd finally come together. He could hold onto her forever.

Emma felt Killian's hands on her waist as he gripped her body against his. Their mouths moved in sync and for a moment Emma pulled away, breathless, only to look at his gorgeous face. He was so beautiful, and so earnest, it made her heart ache that she'd taken this long to realize her true feelings.

"What is it, love?" His eyes turned to concern as his fingers traced her jaw.

"I've wanted this for so long and denied myself for long. I'm just sorry it took so much time."

Killian simply took her hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing it lightly. "We have all the time we need." He smiled again, and she noted the way his eyes shone bright and crinkled at the sides. She wanted to memorize every part of him. Instead, for now, she rested her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I don't want this to end." Emma sighed.

"Neither do I love, neither do I." Killian rubbed her back lightly soothing her.

"But we should go back. Everyone will be wondering what happened to me. I don't know if they wanted to go home or not. And I'm sure Ruby will have something to say about all of this." She laughed. "I mean what comes next?"

"You'll figure it all out, love. It's a chance to start fresh."

"Ugh, I have to go back to my life. I have to move out. I get to go back to work." Her eyes lit up at the thought. "You have a bar to open up! Isn't that next weekend?"

"Love, slow down. There's time for all of that. But, yes, let's go back. Your family will be worried about you."

Emma smiled as she watched Killian stand and hold out his hand for her. She gladly took it and stood herself up.

They walked hand in hand back to the Inn at the Vineyard as the sun set over the hills in the west. It felt very reminiscent of their first trip their together.

"Do you remember that night we spent here together?" Emma spoke suddenly, breaking their comfortable silence and stopping in their tracks.

"How could I forget? You were wearing that pink dress." He grinned at the memory.

"Do you remember almost kissing me that night?" She asked.

He smiled coyly and she knew, of course she knew he was truly a gentleman for not bringing it up again.

"I knew you weren't too drunk to remember!" She playfully smacked his arm and he pulled her against him.

"Of course I remember."

"Did you know how badly I wanted to kiss you?" She said, her expression growing serious, her eyes dark with lust.

"I only know I much I wanted it." He answered his voice suddenly hoarse.

"Killian?" Emma spoke barely more than a whisper. "Kiss me."

In an instant his lips were on hers, crashing together like waves in a raging sea. No longer soft and gentle as before but crazed and hungry. They held each other so tight as if afraid to let go. A spark ignited low in her belly and she wanted to devour him. His lips parted, tongues sliding against each other, they begged to quench their long unsatiated thirst for each other.

Every inch of her body craved him and the need to be closer.

"Killian," She pled, breathless and ravenous. It wasn't enough.

"Emmaaa," he whispered in her ear as he kissed her neck, hands creeping up the back of her shirt.

They needed to get inside quick before they became animals in the road.

"We should go back," she breathed, against her own better judgement.

"We should go back," he repeated, breathless as well. He pulled away smirking and she wanted to kiss it off his face but that would send them back into a frenzy.

"Mmm come on," she grumbled pulling his hand as she started to walk. It took everything inside her to make that first step. She could stay out there forever with him but she knew she'd have to face her friends eventually.

When they finally reached the Inn, they were both apprehensive about going in. Emma's whole family was inside waiting for her. What did they think would happen when she came back? What did she think was going to happen? Only one way to find out.

"Are you sure this isn't weird?"

"Why would it be weird?"

Emma led Killian along the hall to her suite where he friends awaited her return.

"You don't think we'll run into anyone from the wedding? One of Walsh's relatives perhaps?" Killian's brows knit together as he hastily walked behind her, anxious to escape the thought of a stray relative.

"Killian, it's fine. They all left hours ago. We're here anyway." She came to a sudden halt in front of her suite suddenly nervous herself. Obviously Ruby and Mary Margaret (and David by now) knew about her feelings for Killian but she hadn't planned on confronting this situation so soon.

So much had happened in such a short period of time. She started the day betrothed to someone and by the end of it she'd found someone else.

"Maybe I should go in first."

"Maybe you should go in first."

They both spoke the words simultaneously and laughed nervously.

"Okay, I'll go in first." Emma took a deep breath. "Wait here and I will be back."

Killian nodded encouragingly as Emma opened and closed the door behind her.

Everything was suddenly quiet and for the first time in hours he was alone. What was happening was finally sinking in.

She chose him. Emma Swan chose him.

Well really she chose herself and that's what he truly loved about her. She chose herself and then she chose him.

It felt like he'd held onto this love for so long, it was strange to think it was only a few months ago he'd met her. But dammit if he didn't fall in love with her the day he met her. It was almost impossible to know but it burned inside of him. He selfishly hoped this didn't take too long, he wanted to be with her every moment he could.

Just as he was thinking it the door to her suite opened and Emma stuck her head out.

"You can come in now. No one's here."

"What?" She held the door open for him and as he stepped through he saw first-hand the empty suite.

"Where have they all gone?"

She held up a note written on the Inn stationary.

 _Emma, we suspect you've gone off to find your true love as Ruby tells us. Just enjoy the honeymoon suite and we'll meet your prince charming when you come home. Love, MM_

 _P.S._

 _Use protection ;) XOXORUBY_

Emma just laughed when she saw Killian's smirk at the last part. "Now turn it over."

 _If you hurt my friend I will kill you. – David_

"Very subtle, Dave." He put the note on the kitchen counter, next to a bottle of Champaign. "I can't believe they left us here alone."

He was smirking again and this time she did kiss it right off his face.

"Emma we don't have to do anything you don't want to." He said in between kisses.

"Don't you want this?" She pulled away nervously, a question on her face.

"Of course I want this. I have wanted this – wanted you for so long. But you _just_ broke up with your fiancé this morning." He held her face in his palm as she whined. "You actually weren't very clear on that bit.."

"Yes, Killian I ended it this morning." She pulled away, not angry, though she wasn't quite in the mood to rehash it again.

"He wasn't going to let it go easy. But I told him I couldn't marry him. I told him I didn't love him and I didn't want that life with him." Her hands pressed on down the kitchen counter, her knuckles turning white. She didn't look at Killian as she spoke.

"He was surprisingly calm in the end though. I half expect some sort of retribution when I return. At least I left out the part about being in love with someone else. So any of the backlash shouldn't fall on you." She finally looked back up to Killian whose eyes had gone wide with awe and admiration.

It was at that moment she realized what she'd said.

She took a step towards him and held his hand in hers. "I know this is all happening fast but –," her words were lost as his lips found hers and quite literally took her breath away.

Her hands were in his hair and exploring his back as he scooped her up into his arms and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He carried her to the closest bed he could find and gently laid her down.

Carding her fingers through his hair she kissed him deeply. Hitching her leg around his hips she pulled him closer and she could feel his desire against her and it drove her mad with want.

"Emmaaa," he groaned, pulled away from her just slightly – enough to see her face flush, "Did you mean what you said?"

She looked up at him, with more love in her heart than she'd ever known with Walsh and nodded. "I love you Killian Jones. I think I have for a while now."

"Emma Swan, you are an extraordinary woman. And I am truly, madly, deeply in love with you." He stroked a rogue tear escaping her eyes with his thumb and kissed her forehead.

She managed a small laugh at the reference and cupped his face, bringing his lips back down to hers.

Their bodies came together as they stripped away the barriers. For months, she'd wanted this, to be close to him, to finally love him the way she'd denied herself for so long.

She found the hem of his t-shirt, pulling it up over his head revealing more than just a tuft of smoldering black hair. It covered most of his chest and tapered off at his hips. She sucked in a tight breath at the sight, eager for more. "Patience, love. We have all night," he whispered in her ear, his warm breath on her neck sending chills down her back.

In a quick motion he was above her, gently pulling her t-shirt over her head. She ached for his touch but he was slow and gentle as he buried his face in her neck, peppering kisses from her collar, through the valley of her breasts down to her hips until she was heaving with want.

He reached for her jeans, unreasonably slow to unfasten them; she wiggled out as fast as she could and tossed them to the floor. But before Killian allowed Emma to remove his he was at her side again, lips slanted over hers, as their bodies pressed against each other. In a twist of impatience, while their mouths fused together, Emma managed to flip herself on top. Wriggling his eyebrows she simply smirked, wordless as she worked her way down to hips, teasing him with open mouth kisses all along his happy trail.

Painfully slow she too removed his jeans, revealing his true desire, hard and unrelenting beneath the last barrier that separated them physically.

"Emmaaa," he begged as she skimmed her lips lightly over him, as she pulled flush against him.

"Now who's impatient?" She purred in his arms.

"Oh, we are just getting started."

Their bodies moved together, naked and free from all barriers as they gave into their desires. For too many months and too many times they'd each denied themselves the love the deserved from each other.

The night was long as they finally came together in more ways than one, filling each other up. Whispers of love and affection surrounded them as they kissed and clawed at each other, mapping each other's bodies. Never had Emma felt so completely loved and cherished than in the hours they spent tangled in each other's arms.


	14. Chapter 14

A/n: Thank you all for being so patient. This is the last chapter so it's taken a bit longer to write. Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning Emma woke to the sun streaming into her honeymoon suite. It was a moment before she realized the tangled body and mess of dark hair next to her was Killian. Then night's (and morning's) activities came flooding back to her.

One by one she could feel every part of her body connected to his. His strong arms wrapped around her waist; his unshaven chin nestled in the crook of her neck; his long legs intertwined with hers. She sighed contently and hugged him closer.

"Go back to sleep Swan," he murmured in her ear. She smiled to herself, nudging him playfully with her hips.

The night had been long and tiring, to say the least. She felt the bittersweet ache in her joints as she stirred against him. They spent most of the night tangled in each other. Being with Killian was unlike anything she'd ever experienced before. He was gentle and slow, sure to take his time with her. Drawing out the passion from her, twisting her up and wringing her out to dry.

One night with Killian Jones was filled with more passion and love than she'd felt with any man she'd ever been with. The reality of that thought nearly brought tears to her eyes.

"What are you thinking, love?" his warm breath ghosted over her and she felt the flutter of his eye lashes on the back her neck.

"I was thinking about you."

"Oh?"

"And yesterday. And last night." She traced the hard lines of his knuckles, bracing around her.

"No regrets I hope," he chuckled but she heard the sincerity of the question. Gently she turned around in his arms, facing him. She pulled his hands forward and kissed them, smiling.

"The only regret I have is not figuring all this out sooner." Killian gazed up her shyly, returning the kisses to her hands in his.

"We're together now Swan, let's make it count." Quirking an eyebrow he grinned mischievously.

* * *

"I don't want to go back to the city. I want to stay in this room with you forever." Emma was splayed out like a starfish across the bed. For such a tiny woman she knew how to take up space.

Killian laughed as she pouted. He stood at the door to the bathroom, shirtless, shower running. But she was too cute to take his eyes off of.

"Shall we just apply for jobs at the Inn? Surely you could be the resident bail-bonds person. Going after criminals who stiff the bill."

Emma perked up on the bed. She took one look at him and crawled to the edge and pulled him close, her cool fingers clasping around his ribcage.

"Yes and you will play guitar for tips every night at the bar. It's not the most luxurious life but we make it work somehow," she sighed dreamily, giggling after a moment.

"One day we'll buy the Inn and never have to leave. Our children will roam the vineyard pathways and we'll teach them the art of wine-making."

Emma smiled up at him and he caught a glimpse of light in her eyes, twinkling in the midmorning sun.

It was fantasy life they cooked up but growing old with Emma, having children together was not a concept he hated to think about. Maybe one day they could have all those things.

"Come on, love the water's running." He pulled her off the bed and she was pliant in his arms.

* * *

"We could just stay another week? Or two?" Emma's eyes teased him from across the room as she packed her suitcase. It wasn't the last day she'd booked the room but Killian had to get back to the city for the opening of his bar.

"As much as I want to stay hulled up in this room with you, we have to get back." He watched her nodding to herself, pouting. "Damn it, Swan when did I become the sensible one around here?"

He came up behind her, reaching around her waist, kissing her neck. "Bloody hell, let's just stay. Tell everyone else to sod off. I'll push the Grand opening another week or two." His now three day old beard scraped at her neck, sending a chill down her spine. She was still getting used to the feel of him.

"No, you're right," She exhaled as his hands roamed her torso, "We can't avoid reality forever."

"Not forever," he spun her around to face him as his lips collided with hers. "Just a few more weeks. So I can ravage you properly."

"You haven't done that already?" She breathed as his lips slid down her jaw, tempting him.

"That was nothing, Swan." He growled, scooping her up and carrying her to the bed once more.

Several attempts later they finally made it to the train station and eventually back to the city.

Emma parted ways will Killian at her stoop, kissing him for the millionth time in 3 days.

"Call me later? Remind me this hasn't been a mad dream I've cooked up to cope you marrying someone else." She squeezed his hand and nodded.

"I don't want you go." Emma sighed, holding Killian's hands as they stood in front of her building. She was stalling. What awaited her on the 7th floor was not something she was looking forward to.

"I know, love. I don't want to leave you. But you said it yourself; this is something you have to do alone." His ocean eyes glinted with wonder as he stared back at her. She smiled shyly, still not used to his open admiration for her.

"Alright, I'm going in." She looked up at the building apprehensively, still not moving away.

"Swan?" She glanced back at him just before he kissed her. Gently, his fingers lingered on her neck, lightly tracing her jaw. "Good luck," he whispered.

She grinned, nodding as she finally turned towards the door.

Emma approached her apartment, keys in hand, and suddenly she was nervous.

Days had passed since she'd last seen Walsh. She'd heard nothing from him or his family. She hoped she never had to see him again actually, but that was probably wishful thinking.

The elevator ride seemed to take forever and go by all fast at the same time.

She took a deep breath approaching the door, unlocked it and stepped over the threshold in one fell swoop; like ripping off a band-aide.

Emma fully expected to come back here and everything somehow be different. She expected something to have physically changed. Maybe it'd be a total mess or maybe he'd have left. She also expected Walsh to exact some sort of revenge on her– throw away all her things, burn her clothes, something. She did not however expect to find what she walked into.

Everything was exactly how she left it. Nothing had changed. The same dishes were in the sink as the day they left. It was otherwise pristine, nothing in the living room out of place. Nothing in the bedroom out of order. The bed was even made. As she stepped closer she realized it hadn't been slept in, probably in days.

Had Walsh even come back here after the weekend? It didn't look like it. Maybe he was avoiding her?

Either way she wasn't going to sit around and wait for him. She quickly found what she needed under the bed. Pulling out her extra suitcase, the big one – she began to pack.

There wasn't much she needed, just her clothes and an old box she kept of keepsakes from her childhood. She wasn't much for possessions but these were the rare few that were precious to her. An old knit blanket from when she was a baby and small tin of trinkets she'd kept over the years. These were just a few of the things she packed up. Along with an old dusty box of records that hadn't been played in a while.

When she'd packed up most of her wardrobe and a few choice items into the suitcases (including the one from this weekend) and several ikea bags, there was just one last thing to do.

To be the cruel heartless bitch or not. (But was it really that cruel and heartless or just practical?)

Pulling out the long white garment bag and unzipping it one last time, Emma's gaze rolled over the gorgeous white dress she'd never get to wear. She'd been contemplated this for at least the last hour. Should she leave it? It was heavy and she only had so many hands. Or take it with her, spare Walsh the sight and maybe make a few bucks off it in the feature.

Just as she was deciding what to do her phone buzzed in her pocket. She'd called David and Mary Margaret on her way to the apartment.

"We're here; do you want us to come up?" David's asked; she could hear the roaring traffic behind him.

"Yeah, hold the cab."

"He's not here is he?" David asked when she opened the door. She stepped aside and waved him in.

"No, he's not here."

"Good, I wasn't in the mood to kick his ass anyway."

"I left him, remember?" Emma's voice rang after David as he made his way to her bedroom to pick up her bags.

"Yeah but he was also cheating on you and planning to use your marriage for money." Huffing, he hoisted the bags over his shoulders. Emma shrugged as she grabbed the suitcases and led him towards the door.

"What about that?" He nodded towards the wedding gown.

"Did you get everything?" Mary Margaret asked as Emma and David fit everything they could into the backseat and trunk. She threw the white garment bag over top and nodded. Mary Margaret didn't ask questions she simply took Emma in her arms and hugged her tight in the middle of a busy New York sidewalk. Just one of the many reasons Emma loved her friend. When MM pulled away she grasped onto Emma's hands and Emma felt the new vacancy of her left ring finger. Sure it was lighter and easier to carry than the dress but somehow the ring felt like a heavy reminder of what might have been. Plus she never really liked it anyway.

She left the ring on the counter next to her key.

* * *

Killian couldn't stop smiling. Not for the entire route back to his flat, not for the entire long hot shower when he arrived home. Not even the entire time he shaved.

He still could not believe the weekend that had just happened. It felt like a dream. He'd dropped Emma off at her flat and now it felt like ages ago that he'd even seen her. For a moment he briefly considered texting her. Even pulled out his phone, but stopped himself before he got too needy. Emma would call when she could. He didn't want to disturb her while she dealt with the Walsh situation.

Instead he texted the only people who might give a damn and told them to meet him at the Jolly Roger.

When he arrived an hour later Robin and Tinkerbelle stood outside waiting for him. He hadn't told them why they were there just that it was important.

"What's all this about Jones?"

Killian still couldn't stop smiling as he unlocked the door to the bar. His friends followed him inside. He immediately went to the bar and pulled out three shot glasses.

"We are celebrating." He said coyly, pouring them each a shot.

"What are we celebrating?" Tinkerbelle asked with an excited look in her eyes.

Killian paused and grinned, "To love and honor."

Robin knowingly smiled and cheers his glass to the others while Tink's more inquisitive glare watched him as she took her shot.

"Alright, tell me what is going on!" She pleaded.

Killian couldn't hold it on any longer anyway. He quickly divulged a summary of what occurred that past weekend. He told them of the last ditch effort to go up to the vineyard (of which Robin already knew); he told them how Emma had found out the truth about Walsh all on her own and how she'd sought after Killian. He told them briefly of their confessions and how they spent the weekend together.

"I knew she loved you, you bloody idiot!" Tink exclaimed, joyously laughing as she reached over to hug him.

"Cheers mate. Congratulations." Robin smiled again, happy for his friend.

"How did you leave things?" Tink asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean when you left her today, what did you say? When will you see each other again?"

"She had to deal with Walsh today and moving out. I asked her to call me when later." Tink did not look pleased with his answer. "What? Have I done something?"

"You should have made a plan, dinner or something! For all you know she could run back into the bastard and forget all about you."

"Trust me love, you don't forget after the weekend we had." Killian smirked as he poured another shot for himself. "Plus, she is coming to the opening this Friday."

"Alright, good." She held out her glass for another shot as well.

* * *

The week quickly became entirely too chaotic for both of them. Emma was bunking with Mary Margaret and David and she felt terrible for intruding on their lives. Her life seemed to be in puzzle pieces and she was constantly trying to rearrange them to make them fit.

Killian was all but consumed with the Jolly Roger opening that weekend. His previous weekend plans hadn't exactly done him any favors with preparation (not that he was complaining).

It wasn't until Wednesday night that they finally spoke again, Emma calling him as Killian requested.

"Hello, Swan. I was beginning to think it was all a dream." His husky voice washed over her, filling her with a renewed desire.

"Then it was the best dream I've ever had." Emma chuckled, sitting up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket cocoon.

"You're rather chipper this evening."

"I've had a lot of sleep recently." She yawned.

"Ah, I see the new arrangements are working out then?"

"Well for now. Mary Margaret and David are so great for putting me up." She twisted a stray thread between her fingers. "But I have to find somewhere soon. It's not ideal; I haven't worked in months so I need to get a job as soon as possible. I've already put in a call to my old office. So that should help bring in cashflow. But I do have some money saved. It's just a lot to take in at once." She was rambling but he was quiet and let her go on. "I just wasn't expecting all of this." She hadn't really spoken much about Walsh since her wedding day. And Killian didn't bring it up. Always one to let her set the pace.

"At least I was able to pick up my things without conflict. That was something I expected and was pleasantly surprised."

"Walsh was _civil_ when you spoke with him?" Killian asked.

"He wasn't there. I don't think he'd been there is days. The place was untouched. And I only stayed long enough to get my shit and get out."

"You're off to new beginnings Swan. You're a strong, brave woman. I have every faith in you that you will find your path." Emma smiled to herself, feeling her cheeks redden. He was so forthright with how he felt and she admired it.

"Well I won't be alone."

"No you will not my love."

Emma continued the conversation probing Killian for answers about his opening but he simply assured her it was almost ready.

"You'll be there right?" Killian asked a genuine hint of doubt almost untraceable in his question.

"Of course I'll be there. I can't wait to see you again." Emma reassured him.

"Well you probably will have to wait until the opening. There's just so much to do in the next couple of days."

"I understand." She paused, fiddling with the thread again. "I miss you." She finally said, abandoning her usual hard exterior. Something about him had always made her softer. And she didn't want to hide her feelings anymore.

"I miss you too Emma. We'll see each other very soon."

* * *

"So, are you ever going to tell us what the heck happened after we left this weekend?" Mary Margaret asked, sitting down next to Emma, handing her a glass of wine. Meanwhile David plopped into the overstuffed armchair across from her with a beer.

Emma, who had been searching for apartments, set her open laptop aside, accepting the wine.

"What do you want to know?"

"Obviously something happened between you and Killian. We didn't hear from you after Ruby convinced us all to leave early and you've been tight lipped about the subject ever since you got here. Well it's time to spill!" Mary Margaret wasn't taking no for an answer it seemed.

"I'm not sure what Ruby told you but it's probably not far from the truth." MM stared her down, expectantly. That answer was apparently not good enough.

"Come on Emma, I need the juicy details!"

"Not all the details." David said stubbornly.

"Well –,"

"Start from the beginning. From when you left the room to go find him." MM interjected, ignoring her husband's plea.

Emma paused to think. From the beginning.

"Remember a few months ago when Killian came with to visit the Inn? Nothing happened between us then, I promise. But that night we were there we went to that little 80's diner down the street. We both got drunk and danced to Eddie Money's _Take Me Home Tonight_ –,"

"Oh my god is that why that is your ring tone?" Mary Margaret asked giggling on the couch. Emma nodded as she continued.

"So Ruby didn't tell me where he was going to be on Saturday. She didn't tell me much of anything really. I just had a feeling he'd be there at that diner. And he was." She paused staring off dreamily.

"And…?" David prompted. Mary Margaret shot him a look.

"Anyway, he was there. So when I got there I put that song on. It was so corny you guys, we totally danced in front of everyone in the diner!" Emma cringed at the memory and how corny it was but secretly wouldn't change it for the world.

"And then we went outside and talked. I told him about Walsh and that I didn't love him and couldn't marry him. Killian told me he knew about Walsh and wanted to tell me, even tried a few times but he said he didn't want to be the one to make me choose. He wanted to make the choice on my own. I appreciate that you know. Every guy in corny romcoms always swoops in and it's so lame.

"But yeah, I don't know what clicked but I just knew I couldn't marry Walsh, there was always something just tugging on my subconscious but I couldn't make the connection. And then it's like when I met Killian it just pushed all that to the surface. But I had to see it for myself I guess."

Mary Margaret let out a loud squeal of excitement, breaking Emma from her rambling daze.

"And then…?"

"Well then I brought him back to the room because what else was I going to do with the man I'd just confessed my love to? I was going to come inside and tell you all what I'd done and then formally introduce him and then I don't know what would have happened. But you guys weren't there. So just we stayed there all weekend."

"I just still can't get over the fact that you were that close to marrying Walsh. And then now look at you, starting all over." David spoke up again.

"Yeah I definitely didn't think I'd be finding myself here again anytime soon." Emma signed shifting gears and glancing at the open laptop. David cleared his throat and glanced at Mary Margaret.

"We actually wanted to talk to you about that." MM spoke up, leaning on the edge of the couch.

"I know I know. I'm looking. It's just difficult to find somewhere that doesn't come with 10 other roommates, not including rats."

"That's not exactly what we had in mind." David chimed.

"Actually, we were thinking you could stay with us."

Emma was still looking at her laptop, half paying attention. "See like this place is nice but there's just no way I can afford it."

"Emma." MM called, getting her friend's attention finally. "You can stay with us. You don't have to look for a place. We have an extra room and we could do with the extra income."

Emma raised an eyebrow, caught completely off guard. "You guys are serious? I don't want to put you out."

"We're serious." David nodded.

"You wouldn't be putting us out. We want you to stay. You've been through so much. You need a home. Plus, like I said, we could definitely use the extra income. Rent isn't cheap around these parts." MM said, grinning.

Emma hesitated, thinking about it. It would make everything so much easier. She wouldn't have to settle for finding a place that she either couldn't afford or had to share with strangers. She'd get to share living space with two of her oldest and dearest friends. More like family really.

"Alright, let's do it!

"We'll have to hammer out the details but this will be great! I'm so excited!" Mary Margaret squealed, clapping her hands together.

"Now, when you are you going to see Killian again?" MM asked.

Emma just laughed, a weight finally lifted from her shoulders.

"This Friday at the Jolly Roger grand opening! You two are more than welcome to come. Ruby should be there too."

* * *

Emma had barely spoken to Ruby since the wedding festivities. Ruby had been working like crazy but they had a jog on the books for the following morning.

So it was more like a power walk. Ruby also wanted all the details of the weekend. Something about Ruby and Emma's friendship – she felt like she could divulge the more R rated details. Talking with Mary Margaret and David – well David really – felt like a conversation with a protective older brother. Not the guy you want to talk about all the crazy sex you've been having with.

"Seriously? The whole weekend?"

"We hardly left the bed." Emma shrugged innocently.

"Damn, get it girl." Ruby flashed a wolfish grin as they wound through the park on their power walk together.

"You'll be at the Jolly Roger opening this weekend right?" Emma asked, pausing at a bench to stretch her legs.

"Of course I'll be there!"

"Are you bringing Victor?" Emma asked, trying to think of the last time she'd seen or heard about the guy.

"You really have been living under a rock. We broke up ages ago. Didn't you notice he wasn't at the wedding?" Ruby sat down on the bench.

"Not until you just said it." Emma flinched, hugging her friend's shoulders dramatically. "I'm sorry I've been a bad friend!"

"It's fine. I blame the wedding chaos and the all the crazy sex." Ruby laughed.

Emma stood up straight and pulled her out of the bench.

"Alright, you ready for this?" Emma started jogging in place, her blond ponytail bouncing behind her.

Ruby nodded. "If we must."

They both took off jogging back into the city. Walsh's store was just a few blocks down and Emma really wanted to see if he was there. She still hadn't heard anything from him or his family. The landlord of their apartment had even called but she didn't listen to the voicemail.

They both came up to a bus stop a short enough distance away that they could see the entrance to the shop. As far as Emma could see it was dark and empty. Sure it was early and she didn't expect it to be open but he was usually there.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Emma turned to Ruby dumbfounded.

"Yeah, let's get closer."

The sidewalks were bustling with all kinds of people and as they crept closer they were mostly able to blend in with passersby.

Ruby, taking the more obvious approach, leaned on the window cupping her eyes to see better into the shop. She started mumbling.

"What?" Emma asked, facing away from the shop.

"It's empty. Not an overpriced armoire in sight." Ruby ushered for Emma to look herself. She leaned into the glass, cupping her eyes and she saw what Ruby meant. The shop was bare and empty. Not even a chair remained.

"He's just gone." The two of them looked at each other at a loss for words.

"Didn't you say you got a voicemail from your landlord? Maybe he said something about Walsh leaving town?" Ruby asked.

Emma shrugged and pulled out her phone.

"Emma Swan, I've been trying to get in touch with your boyfriend Eric Walsh. It looks like someone came and emptied your apartment. The rent is good until the end of the month but I just wanted to confirm. If I don't hear from you or receive notice by the end of the month consider the lease terminated." Emma hung up the phone.

"He's just gone." Emma repeated.

She didn't know if she felt completely relieved or weirdly anxious. It was so odd that he would just disappear like a ghost.

"You know some people do this kind of thing Emma. He couldn't handle living in the same city as you and he had to get out of dodge." Rudy suggested, mildly sarcastic.

"Or maybe he was afraid I'd find out what else he was hiding?"

"Either way, it's not your problem anymore. You made sure from the beginning you never mixed your financials with him, kept the lease in his name so you wouldn't get burned in this type of situation. Your ass is in the clear. You're free."

Emma thought about it for a minute and realized Ruby was right. Emma was finally free of Walsh – once and for all.

The following day Emma woke early with anticipation. It was the day of the Jolly Roger opening and she was more excited this morning than she had been on her wedding. Granted they were very different circumstances, given that she actually wanted to see the man she planned to that night.

She could only imagine how excited Killian was, his dream of open a bar and honoring his brother's memory finally realized. They'd spoken sparingly since Wednesday. She hadn't even gotten to tell him she was staying with Mary Margaret and David. He had other things to worry about.

She spent the entire day unpacking and fixing up the room that would now become hers. She'd worked out her rent payment and all that. Emma had even received a call from her old office saying she could have her job back. She'd be back on assignment by Monday. So far the day had been productive.

Too bad all she could really think about was seeing Killian.

She started getting ready about 3 hours too early but it was fine. Killian would appreciate the black backless dress that hugged her curves, paired with her red leather jacket and black booties. How could she go wrong?

The night was chilly and she was thankful she wore her leather jacket.

With David, Mary Margaret and Ruby in tow Emma felt like she brought her posse to the opening. When they arrived the sidewalk was swarmed with people. There was even a line with a list. They made their way through the mass of bodies as music played and Emma noticed a band on the stage.

"Where do you think he is?" Ruby half yelled over the music and roaring crowd. Emma shrugged as her eyes scanned the room. Her eyes landed on the bar as she found a familiar face and made a beeline towards the mahogany counters.

"Emma! You made it!" The petite blonde woman Emma had come to think fondly of after hearing so much about smiled. "What can I get you? First round is on the house!" Tinkerbelle seemed to be glowing with excitement.

"Tink! It's so good to see you!" Emma ordered everyone's drinks and they turned around to find somewhere to stand, Emma nearly spun right into Killian.

He smiled wide and kissed her cheek.

"Killian you did an amazing job, the place looks incredible! And so many people are here. This is unbelievable." She beamed with pride at the man standing before her. Killian stood in a black button down shirt, the buttons of course left open at the top. He was beautiful as always.

"It really has just all come together," He grinned and turned to the others. "Hello there! You must be Mary Margaret and David?" He held out his hand and they both took turns shaking hello. He turned to Ruby and embraced her in a wide hug, mumbling something in her ear.

"Well if you guys will follow me, I've got a table set aside for you." Killian ushered them behind him as he snaked through the crowd. Emma raised her eyebrows to Ruby. They all followed as Killian led them to a table marked "Reserved" to the right of the stage. There were several other tables set aside, dispersed throughout, all surrounding a wide open area, a dance-floor of sorts. The band on stage continued to play but Emma suspected The Crow's Nest might make an appearance.

"Apologies love, I can't stay long to chat."

"That's alright, go! Work. This place is a truly amazing." Killian smiled again and kissed her lightly on the mouth then waved to the others as he made his way into the crowd.

"I can't believe it wasn't that long ago that we were here in this very room completely undone for the silly wedding band 'audition'" Ruby laughed remembering the memory with Emma.

"It really wasn't that long ago. So much had changed." Emma agreed, thinking back on it.

As the night went on the four of them stayed drinking and hanging out. Killian made rounds and stopped by several more times to chat but never could stay long. He was so busy running around making sure everything went off without a hitch. There were several near catastrophic events when a bar-back had dropped and broken a shit-ton of glasses. But Killian had extra in the back. They'd also nearly run out of ice when there was a small ice-maker malfunction. But it wouldn't be a proper opening without something crazy happening.

Killian kept his cool all night.

It wasn't until The Crow's Nest took the stage that he finally seemed completely in his element. She was again reminded of the night she first met Killian, when her and Ruby watched them play at The Rabbit Hole.

"I hope everyone is enjoying themselves tonight!" Killian yelled into the microphone. The Jolly Roger occupants hooted and hollered with excitement. "Tonight is The Jolly Roger's maiden voyage but certainly won't be its last. Thank you all so much for coming out tonight. I do hope you come back." Everyone cheered again as he picked up his guitar and came back to the mic. "I'd like to dedicate this song to a lovely lady in the audience. Everyone please sing along."

Emma noticed the entire band (aside from Will at the drums) stepping forward to a microphone and began to chant:

 _Ooga-chaka, ooga-ooga  
Ooga-chaka, ooga-ooga  
_

Killian began to recite over the chanting:

 _I can't stop this feeling  
Deep inside of me  
Girl, you just don't realize  
What you do to me_

When you hold me  
In your arms so tight  
You let me know  
Everything's all right

Emma laughed out loud when she recognized the 80's cover of Blue Suede.

"IIIIIII'm hooked ona feelin'" Killian sang, making eye contact with her as the band stepped back and took up their instruments, chiming in. "I'm high on believin' … that you're in love with meeeee."

The song continued and Emma just laughed to herself as the crowd sang along. She also noticed the new horn section that stood to the left of the stage.

Killian finished the song with the widest grin she'd ever seen on his face. Then the band immediately launched into another cover song, this time a Tom Petty song called Runnin' Down a Dream. They played several other covers along with a few of their own originals.

"Wow – what a night," Ruby said when the band finally stepped down a while later.

"Well Killian sure is… something else," Mary Margaret said smiling knowingly at her friend.

David even gave his nod of approval as they all decided it was time to go home.

Emma told them not to wait up and said goodbye to her friends. When they all left she took a vacant seat at the bar. It was getting later and the lights would turn on soon.

"You staying 'til closing time?" Tinkerbelle asked, making her rounds.

Emma yawned and nodded. Her eyes kept scanning the room, waiting to see him again.

"He really loves you, you know that right?" Tink surprised Emma when she spoke.

"I know that."

"Don't break his heart." Tink said as she slid a red bull towards her.

"I don't intend to." Emma answered, her eyes lighting up when she finally saw his dark frame walking towards her. "You were amazing!" She hopped off the stool and threw her arms around his neck, kissing the side of his face.

"I see someone enjoyed themselves." He laughed just before she kissed his mouth.

The three of them hung together as they soon turned the lights on for the closing of The Jolly Roger's first night.

Emma stayed through it all, stayed when Killian had to forcefully remove a group of rowdy twenty-somethings who wouldn't leave. She stayed as they cleaned, even helped sweep and pick up glasses. She stayed as they counted the money and stayed as they declared the night a success.

Killian watched Emma slumped over in one of the last standing bar stools, the rest atop of the counter. He glanced at his watch and realized it was almost 5am. He waved off Tinkerbelle and the rest of the staff as they made their way out.

" s'it time togo?" Emma mumbled as Killian helped her off the stool and kissed her forehead.

"You're coming home with me tonight, right love?"

Emma smiled her eyes half open, "Yes I am."

Killian put his arm around her shoulders as they left the bar and hailed a cab.

"I love you, Emma Swan." He whispered later on after he'd tucked her into his bed. She was almost completely incoherent most of the drive to his loft and nearly soundless when he stripped off her boots and jacket, laying her in the bed.

It was a different kind of intimacy as he laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her while she slept.

"I love you too, Killian." She whispered under her breath. It was then that he was again reminded how deeply he had fallen in love with this woman. He doubted he could ever love another woman in any comparison again. She was a radiant sun, illuminating his life in a whole new way.

He smiled and tucked himself further into her grasp and fell asleep.

* * *

A/n (again): Thank you all so much for reading! This story has taken over a year to write and you all have been so patient with me as well as wonderful readers with great feedback. I love you all so much and appreciate you with all of my heart. You have made writing this story even more fun. It was my first real, long, planned multi-chapter fic and I am so grateful to receive so much love for it. The end was a bit more difficult to write that's why it took so long but who knows maybe I'll revisit this universe in the future. Love you guys!


	15. Chapter 15 - Epilogue

A/N: So I wrote this a year ago and I never got around to posting it. Someone had said they wished Emma and Killian had spent a little more time together at the end. So this take place a year later and just catches up on their year together as a couple. I'm sure no one cares anymore but I reread this story because it was always one of my favorites that I wrote and I felt like it needed this last little chapter. So I hope you enjoy.

Epilogue

"Do you really think she'll say yes?" Killian asked. He stood perfectly still, took his aim and threw, hitting his mark on the dart board.

It had been almost a year since he'd opened the Jolly Roger. It'd been almost a year since he and Emma had started dating. They'd tried taking it slow. It didn't help when upon the beginning of their relationship they'd already declared their love for each other. Not to mention dismantled an entire wedding in the process.

"Of course she'll say yes. You two practically live together anyway. She's there more than she is at home with us." David reassured, trading places with Killian to take his aim, dart in hand.

Killian was planning to ask Emma to move with in him. David was right, they nearly did live together. She'd resumed her job as a bail bonds person and stayed every night she could with him. It started with the excuse that it was just easier most of the time. That her perps just happened to be in the same area as his loft. But that excuse didn't last long and then they were spending most nights together.

She still paid rent and kept her clothes at Mary Margaret and David's apartment. They also hosted a weekly dinner that Emma tried to attend as often as she could. Killian also usually made an appearance. They'd all become quite close. He'd begun to feel that he'd not only gained a girlfriend but a new family of friends.

David took his shot and turned around to face Killian. "She'll say yes." He lightly grasped the man's shoulder.

They were standing in the back room of the Jolly Roger. It was originally closed off to the public but Killian had opened it up for games – darts, pool, that sort of thing.

David had taken to coming by on slow days after work.

It was strange to think of how far they'd all come in the last year. He and Emma had survived the holiday season. He remembered feeling completely out of his element when she'd ask him to have Thanksgiving dinner with her and her friends. It was an American holiday and he didn't have any family to celebrate it anyway. Any girlfriends he may have had in the past never lasted long enough for a holiday invitation.

"Killian, it's just a holiday about being thankful for the happiness in your life." Emma explained one night. They sat on opposite ends of his living room couch, her feet in his lap. "It'll be great, there will be so much food you won't know what hit you." Emma watched him thoughtfully.

Killian finally cracked a smile, her words sinking in. "Well I do think I might actually have a reason to celebrate this blasted holiday, Swan. I wouldn't miss it." She smiled, leaning forward and pressing her lips to his.

They'd all gone to the Nolan's apartment. Ruby was there too of course, with a new significant other as well.

"I think it's great," Killian said in a low voice to Emma as they watched the new couple from across the room. "It's different, but love appears in mysterious forms." He took a swig of his beer.

"That's fine, I just think it's interesting that she's never shown any interest in women before now." Emma too took a sip of her wine. Ruby was grasping tightly onto the hand of a beautiful brunette she'd brought to dinner named Dorothy. Dory for short, she'd said. "I'll support her no matter what. Don't worry." Emma bumped shoulders with Killian playfully.

"I wouldn't dream of it, Swan." He smirked, pulling her by the hand back into the party as they heard a glass clink.

"I'd like to make a toast!" David called above the chatter, holding up his beer. "I just want to say how thankful I am for all the friends in my life, new and old." He held her beer in the direction of Ruby and Dory, then Killian and Emma. "And for love, new and old. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!" Everyone held up their beverages, there were some claps and cheers.

"Now everyone dig in, dinner is ready!" Mary Margaret announced.

Christmas was different for Killian. Thanksgiving had been a holiday easily overlooked; it wasn't filled with both joyful and painful memories. Memories of opening presents on Christmas morning with his mother and brother, opening Christmas crackers, eating cookies all day long. Or Memories of empty apartments, cold nights alone when they were both gone.

"I think I'm going to sit this one out. I won't be much fun, love." He tried to bow out gracefully. He wanted nothing more than to sit in his dark loft drinking rum and watching The Walking Dead reruns or anything unrelated to Christmas. But Emma was persistent.

"Killian, I know you want to be alone, but I already got you a gift. Plus Mary Margaret and David are planning a huge dinner, bigger than Thanksgiving! And there will be so many cookies." She'd spent the previous few days there baking.

"You got me a gift?" His ears perked up.

"Of course I got you a gift. I know this is a hard time of the year for, being without your family. But…" she hesitated, her eyes darting away from him.

"But what, love?" He asked, tucking a ribbon of golden hair behind her ear.

"I know you don't have your brother or mother and maybe it's too soon to say this but I was hoping we could be each other's family?" Her gaze reached his again, filled with love. "Because I don't have a mother or father or any brothers and sisters but I have David and Margaret and Ruby and now we have each other."

Killian's heart felt so full he thought he might fall, but of course he had already. "Emma, you know you mean more to me than I could ever express, right? Of course you're my family." He pulled her against him, her body molding perfectly to fit with him, hugging her closely, kissing her forehead, her hair, and finally her mouth.

"I love you too, Killian." She whispered between kisses.

"Okay close your eyes."

"But it's already wrapped."

"Just close your eyes, Swan," Killian called as he entered her bedroom at the apartment. They'd decided to sneak away from the festivities to exchange gifts.

"Alright, they're closed." Emma sat on her bed legs crossed and eyes closed.

Truthfully Killian didn't wrap her gift. It'd been hiding in David and Mary Margaret's room since the day he bought it. He didn't even bring it home knowing Emma was more likely to find it there than in her own apartment. The couple was more than pleased to house his gift.

"Alright open them," he said holding a large wooden box.

Her eyes popped open and he could see the gears spinning as she worked out what it was. Then after about 10 seconds she jumped up.

"Killian, is this what I think it is?" He nodded, "it's beautiful." Killian grinned proudly. "Here set it down on this table."

"You like it, Swan?"

She ran her fingers over the vintage Victrola turntable.

"Killian this is amazing, thank you so much!" She turned around and flung her arms briefly around him before jumping back. "I have to get your gift!" She bolted out of the room but returned in probably less than 30 seconds. "Your turn to close your eyes," she called, her head bobbing in the doorway hiding her body.

Killian simply closed his eyes and held out his arms where he stood, grinning. "Might want to shut the door Swan, don't want anyone to hear the obscenities that may occur.

"Oh, stop it," He heard her say as she thrust a heavy box into his hands. His eyes popped out open but of course she had wrapped the box, in a shiny paper with little santa hats on it. Her eyes beamed excitedly as he tore through the paper and held up the box.

It was a decanter set, a glass barrel shaped decanter mounted on a wooden base. But the best part was the glass ship inside.

"This is beautiful, Swan." He was floored by the amount of thoughtfulness that she'd put into the gift, combining two of his favorite things. Drinking and ships. "I love this."

"Good because you'll need it when you drink this," she pulled out a bottle of 21 year old aged rum from behind her back. She was absolutely giddy as she handed his to him.

"You spoil me, love." He could barely speak, he was so overjoyed that someone had put so much effort into a gift for him. "You are truly amazing Emma. Thank you."

"Merry Christmas, Killian."

"Happy Christmas, Emma."

They counted down to the new year at The Jolly Roger. Killian had orchestrated an entire affair. Everyone they knew and their mother was invited. The Crow's Nest made their appearance of course. Robin brought his wife and son while Will flirted with Tinkerbelle at the bar all night. It seemed like the whole neighborhood and then some had turned up. People were even waiting outside to get in at some point.

At Midnight they all took their glasses and counted down together, "TEN, NINE, EIGHT…" the crowd shouted.

"I'm so glad to be here with you, Emma." Killian said so only Emma could hear.

She smiled and as the clocked chimed midnight she kissed him, "Me too."

After New Year's came and went, pretty soon it was Valentine's Day. And now it was Emma's turn to try to escape the holiday. She'd always hated it growing up. She'd never really had great experiences with the day, never spent long enough time with anyone besides Walsh to even have a date on the holiday and look out well that turned out.

She told Killian numerous times that she didn't want to do anything special. Killian wasn't much better with this day but he wanted to make it something Emma could remember with fondness rather than disgust. Plus she didn't give up on him when he didn't want to celebrate Christmas, he couldn't let her give up on Valentine's Day.

"Swan, I know how to plan a date. Don't you know that by now, love?"

"I know, but this is different. Just something about this day…" her gaze became distant and he knew she was remembering Walsh's proposal or any number of Valentine's days past that haunted her.

"Swan, just trust me." He kissed her forehead.

The only problem is that he'd spent days racking his brain trying to think of something that might be better than all the terrible dates she'd endured on this horrid holiday. He couldn't really say he'd ever had a decent date on this day as well. But he had to think of something.

When the day finally came he thought he'd surprise her.

"Just wear comfortable shoes."

"That's it, that's all I get?"

"Wear comfortable walking shoes. And something warm. We'll be outside." He watched as she raised an eye brow questioningly. "And I'll pick you up in the morning."

"Pick me up? You can drive? In a car? Do you even have a car?" She teased, sitting across from him at the bar the night before. "And if it's in the morning why don't I just sleep over?"

Killian shook his head, "I will pick you up in the morning – from your place – with a car that I can drive but I do not own."

"Alright, have it your way." She sipped her drink.

The next morning he picked her up with Robin's van, the one the band always used for traveling to gigs. But instead of Scarlet's drum kit and guitar amps rattling around in the boot it was camping gear.

"What have you got planned for us, Jones?" Emma asked suspiciously as she piled in the van.

"You'll see, Swan."

A few hours later Emma starting picking up on what he'd had planned. He couldn't hide it anymore once she'd started seeing the signs through Saratoga.

"Camping Killian?"

"You told me once you'd never been."

She looked at him from across the van as he wound through the country roads, grinning wildly. "Well not technically. I mean sleeping under a bridge and in stolen cars doesn't count right? I can't believe you remembered that anyway."

"Of course, Swan." Killian shook his, "and no, being homeless doesn't count as camping. Not really."

About an hour or so later they'd finally had everything set up. For never having camped before Emma caught on very quickly. She had the tent up and sleeping cots ready before he even had the fire lit.

When he finally did get it all going, the steaks he'd prepared cooked quite nicely.

"Where did you learn how to do all this anyway?" Emma asked, as they sat around the camp fire, beers in hand and lunch plates cleaned.

"When I first came to the states I backpacked up the Appalachian Trail. Started down in Georgia and made my way up here. Never did finish it though. Settled here in New York."

"You did not. That trail like 2,000 miles."

"I don't reckon I did all of it."

"That must have been hard. Coming to a foreign country, not knowing anyone and being all alone for so long."

"I dunno what exactly made me do it at the time but it wasn't as bad as you think. You meet new people every day on the trail. Make friends, bond with people, bond with yourself. Push yourself. It just felt right at the time."

"So what made you stop and stay here?"

Killian paused before he answered and set his tin plate on the edge of his chair. The light from the now late afternoon soon shone red and oranges on his skin. He scratched behind his ear and shrugged.

"I guess I just liked the allure of the city. Reminded me of London I think, the way it never really does sleep. Plus I think I was lonely for so long, I just wanted to be around people again. Feel the busyness and hope it'd keep me company."

He took long slug off his beer. Emma's hand appeared on his shoulder. "Well I'm glad you stayed. Seemed to work out for both of us." She grinned as she leaned in, gently pressing her lips to his.

"So it did." He said low as she stood up for the cooler.

"Another?"

"Yes, please."

"I still can't believe you did all this for me. No one's ever done anything like this for me." Emma sat back down in her camping chair.

"I just wanted to give you a Valentine's date that would hopefully eclipse all the bad ones."

"Well mission accomplished. I kind of forgot that it was even Valentine's Day anyway." She laughed.

They set a blanket up in a nearby clearing to watch the stars come out. Huddling close together under their blanket Emma snuggling under his arm.

"This has been amazing Killian." She looked up at him under her long lashes, her eyes glowing. "I love you." She leaned in, kissing him softly, breathing him in.

"I love you Emma Swan."

The vision of that night swam in Killian's memory. Since the day Emma Swan ended her wedding nearly 12 months ago he'd known they were special. He'd dreamed that one day they'd have their own wedding day. And that Valentine's Day he knew they would. He knew it didn't matter what life threw at them, they could handle it.

~!~

Later that night Killian waited in his apartment for Emma to arrive. He thought about setting up something spectacular – something like another picnic or a hot air balloon ride. But in the end he knew Emma didn't need or want all of that. He knew that the only thing that truly ever mattered was the two of them and nothing more. So he settled on a quiet, homemade meal at his loft.

He'd just finished setting up the table and was checking the time when the there was a knock on the door.

"Quite punctual, love," Killian swung open the door to reveal Emma smiling his doorway. Her lips landed on his instantly as she greeted him.

"I actually wrapped up my case early today. Easiest skip yet." She took off her jacket and laid it on the back of the couch. "Something smells amazing. Did you cook?" Her nose led her to the dining table.

"Ah, yes, love. I too took the night off from the bar."

"This looks great, Killian. I didn't even know you could do all this." She laughed.

"Well, I am a man of many talents." He smirked.

"Modesty not being one of them."

"Never," he winked. "Hope you're hungry." Killian held out her chair.

Emma just laughed and took her seat, "Always the gentleman."

"Aye." He grinned. They both dug into the meal Killian had prepared and after a few silent moments of enjoyment Killian spoke up again. "So tell me about this easy skip today."

"Okay so I got this case 8AM this morning. First thing I do is look the guy up and find his next of kin, which is his mother. I figure, that's a good place to start right? So I decide to get some coffee before I steak out there. Well I'm getting out of my car around the corner from a Starbucks about 2 blocks from this guy's mother's house and I see him. I swear, I see him on my freaking way to Starbucks. The guy had a coffee cup in his damn hand." She laughed, so proud of herself and Killian grinned. "So I pretended to bump into him, he spilled it all over himself and got all pissy because, you know, he just bought it. Well he was even more pissed when I caught him off guard and cuffed him in about 30 seconds flat. He didn't even run. I was done with his paperwork by noon!"

"Well done, love. That does sound like a great catch."

Emma nodded, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"So tell me, what is this really all about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean all this. I didn't miss an anniversary did I?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. I just wanted to do something special for you. We've been together almost a year now. Sometimes I can't believe it's already been a year and other times it feels like it's always been this way. I still think back to that day I first met you, at the Jolly Roger. You were so beautiful. I never thought I stood a chance. Hell, you were getting married."

"Are you kidding me? You looked like a Greek god. Of course, I had to internally smite myself for even thinking about you like that." Emma snorted. "We definitely have come a long way since that day."

"We have." He took a sip of his wine nervous all of a sudden. "That's why I hoped you might consider… moving in with me?" Killian watched her expression turn from casually wistful to surprise to excitement.

"You want me to move in with you? Here?"

"Well, love, you practically live here already. You've already got more than a drawer. I figure I might as well give you a bloody key."

"Yes, of course I'll move in!"

"Good, because I already had this made for you." He pulled out a copy of his loft key.

She jumped up and took it from it, kissing his face happily.

"This is a big step Emma. You sure you're okay with this?" Killian asked.

"Yes, yes of course!"

"Good, because you know I'm in this for the long haul right, Emma? I'd like to start building our future together. I'm not proposing or anything, don't worry. I just hope that maybe… one day I could?" He looked at Emma hopeful as her eyes grew wide and he hoped he didn't scare her.

"Killian – I," she was momentarily speechless. Glancing down at the key in her hand, Emma was quiet for a moment. But when she looked back up at Killian with tears in her eyes she simply nodded.

Pulling him into her arms and hugging him tightly, she spoke into his shoulder, "I want that. I want a future with you. I love you." She pulled away, smiling and wiping the tears from her eyes. "So when can I moved in?"

It turns out it didn't take much to move her into the loft. Emma only had a few more things than what she'd taken from Walsh's apartment. Really just some more clothes and a few more albums for the record player Killian had gotten her for Christmas. But it wasn't until she was packing she realized how many photos she'd framed since moving in with Mary Margaret and David. Emma smiled as she looked at the all the memories she'd captured in the last year. Thanksgiving and Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's Day, 4th of July… so much had changed in the last year since she'd broken things off with Walsh and gotten together with Killian. Everything had changed, she'd changed.

Still smiling, she wrapped up the frames in newspaper and piled them in her last box. "I think this is the last one," she said as Mary Margaret stood in the doorway.

"Um, what about this?" she walked over to the open closet, touching a lone white garment bag. Emma hadn't even looked the thing since the day she moved in.

"Were you saving it for something?" Mary Margaret asked with a sly smile as she unzipped the bag, just a little, to get a closer look.

"Seriously? I could never wear that dress! It's tainted! Or Cursed." Emma stood up to look at it.

"Then why did you keep it?"

Emma was quiet for minute, wondering the same thing to herself.

"It's not even like I'm sentimental about the dress itself or the fact that I was going to wear it to marry Walsh… I just loved the way it made me feel." Emma shrugged, "And I never got to wear it."

"I know, but maybe you'll get to wear a different one someday. And I bet that one will make you feel a million times better than this ever could. Because you'll know it's right and it's fits." Mary Margaret squeezed her friend's shoulder.

Emma nodded as the two of them stood looking at the old wedding dress in silence for a long moment.

"What are you two doing?" David suddenly appeared in the doorway, making the two of them jump.

"Uh, _nothing_." Emma zipped up the garment bag and pulled it off the closet rod.

"I'm not going to have to tell Killian about this, am I?" David asked suspiciously.

"What's there to tell?" Mary Margaret turned to Emma and took the bag gentling from her grasp. "I'll take this for you?" Emma nodded and watched Mary Margaret leave the room with the bag. She felt relieved to see it go.

"This is the last box David." She nodded to the box on the floor and he picked it up. She took one last look at her room before she closed the door.

A cab ride later she was opening the door to the loft and Killian was there to help carry up the boxes.

"Honey, I'm home!" Emma laughed as she carried her boxes in.

"You sure are." Killian kissed her forehead and grinned.

They were both home.


End file.
